Yup.......

Social media platforms make it easy for people to say things they would never say IRL - whether that be threatening, trolling, etc. Or in this case, flirting. The internet gives people a certain amount of disconnection from personal responsibility.

Also... wth is a "boutique winery"?
Is that like when the grocery store has the wine over in a separate corner, by itself?

My answer to the original Q is a no-brainer...
but this....
.
Whoa!!! If true, that's your private life.
But why would a person share a consideration like this with the World Wide Web?
Baffling to me.
:confused:

Totally justified to unfriend him. She did too, right?

There is something insidious about FB that I cannot put my finger on. They were certainly duped by the Russians.

I have a bogus FB profile to check my friends' and my own security settings. I cannot believe what a whole bunch of people make public, as if they have not spent ten minutes with their security settings, or don't know how, in which case, they should not be on FB.

Your friends list, your likes list, your groups lists, your wall, your photos, your personal info, everything; it's all public by default unless you change it, item by item.

Yes, she certainly is :)

Crazy eh?!

That was a lot of fun, what... 13 years ago? I think I had known her for a week or two. Naturally, it never happened, nor would it happen, but it was a good time :)

I bet I haven't posted 5 photos of her in the last 8-10 years here. I don't consider that excessive.

Not bragging... nor complaining. Wife thinks I overreacted, so I was questioning myself.

That''s 100% up to her. I haven't even asked her if she's done it.

Bob - Why did you delete your post?

We don't put anything up that shows anything we need to hide. We don't have anything to hide in the first place. I am very selective over who I "friend". 99% of the time, its someone I know personally and am comfortable with. We used to be worried about people knowing when I was out of the country and she was home, but that became impossible to manage, so now we don't worry about it. Mrs. Motion is a tough cookie.

^^^This! IMHO not just social media, texting and even email can easily be misunderstood. I read somewhere that communication is 20% words and 80% body language/facial expression/tone of voice.

Facebook and Twitter...all the money & time spent by Government to spy on people, and today?

Well, Orwell was an optimist, wasn't he?

I think I'm signed up with facebook...did sign up somewhere to be able to join the live chat that goes on during live streams of major pool tournaments. I'm pretty sure a Fed agent would get bored pretty quickly reading that. Confused too...pool has it's own jargon.

An itty bitty winery... they have always been around but it is now cool to call any small business "boutique".

When I used to do Napa/Sonoma wine tasting always hit a few big wineries... but also fun to stop at the little guys, hand painted sign out by the road, drive up the gravel road to an old barn to find two guys and a dog sitting at a picnic table with cases of wine.

Just remember that
Every time you READ something it's very easy to apply your preferred emotion to it.
Something bland can upset you because your brain naturally wants to run with it.

So, yeah he did something slightly goofy but that's about it. Highly unlikely he meant anything at all by it. Let your wife handle it.

ding, ding, ding.

Even the "(paraphrasing here)" part could have paraphrased in a way that made it seem creepier than it actually was because of your gut reaction.

When I have a strong reaction to something, especially if it's negative and especially if it's via some form of text without the benefit of personal interaction, I try to step back and wonder if there was a way that I could have misinterpretted what I read.

Who uses FB anymore anyhow? I'm thinking that it's huge in nursing homes. :)

So he asks to be friended, and as soon as he is he sends his first message. Innocent? Misunderstood? Nahhh...

If you think the message is innocuous, just look at the timing.

?? Yeah. WHen you have just connected with someone, they are at the forefront of your mind, and you're likely to immediately have some sort of interaction with them. That's just natural.

If I meet someone, I'm not going to then ignore them for several months and then hit them up out of the blue.

Sometimes you need to send a clear signal just so your wife gets that you have limits.

Facebook?

lol

How many married women do you interact with on a regular basis on Facebook? How many of your friends wives do you interact with, without your friend also being involved?

I interact with plenty of my friends' wives on Facebook, but they are actual real first person neighborhood friends, so motion's situation is not the same.

Maybe he will let you watch as he......

That's what got me revved up about this... it was premeditated. Definitely not just an off-hand comment.

Well then, you have your answer.

I think you got it right.

I interact with a lot of friends wives. BUT, I always take the high road.

Accept it as a compliment, or pity him as sub-beta, but just go to it sluggo.
Your wife needs him to balance a baguette on his nose to make sure the message is legit.

(Hey enough with the jealousy. Not everyone can be as attractive as I am. Or as humble and modest.)

That is very odd behavior. I always wear leg and face protection when weed wacking.

Motion, Javadog sums it up perfectly here ^^^. Your original post asks if you overreacted. I'm a fairly pragmantic person, secure in my marriage, and not jealous by nature. My initial response would have been similar to yours.

This board has contrarians and antagonists who would contradict a blue sky for the simple sake or agreement. Unfriend the azzhole and forgitaboutit.

No, you did not over react.

That is a blatant fishing attempt trying to pit her against you, and giving her the opening to start complaining about you.

100% justified.

Damn son, you spawned a few threads from this incident.


I am in 100% agreement with you, this has nothing to do with your trust in your SO, it seems you are perfectly comfortable there. This has EVERYTHING to do with respect, and lack thereof.

For some A hole to come along, friend request then fish around like that, shows lack of class and lack of respect and someone I would not want to be associated with.

A lifetime ago you had a blog, I followed you, I thought it was awesome then it was gone. I was bummed, but I knew why, the internets are crawling with some really wacked people and it was probably safer for you to shut that down.

I feel the same way about FUbook I deleted my account years ago, it is bad news.

When I go on trips now, I do not say a word until I return then post pics on IG AFTER I am home, no need to tell the world I am away.

Plus much easier to collect my thoughts and post pics I feel are relevant.

Keep living life, tell the world on delay. ;)

I've conducted dozens maybe hundreds of investigations into similar conduct. With near 100% certainty the guy was fishing for a hook-up (as the kids say).

Unless he was including you in the messages, he was fishing.

I agree that you don't tell her what to do with regard to him. My theory is that it is her life and if she choses to venture outside of the marriage vows that is her call. I would not like it but its her call. You start down the road of telling her what to do and you might not like the outcome.

Oh my God, Facebook-drama! :-)

I wouldn't have to do anything, my wife can handle that herself.

I saw the other threads, but honestly, I didn't take them personally. I don't think they were meant that way, either, but I guess my experience on FB made a few people ponder how they would handle it. Fair game.

That blog WAS a lot of fun :) But yeah, I became uncomfortable with the amount of info available to other people, ultimately. We don't worry about external influences from others, but at the same time, we don't want to intentionally invite any drama into our lives.

That's exactly what I have done :)

This is exactly why I ONLY befriend people who I have talked face to face with, and actually like in person. There are plenty of co-workers/aquaintances who have many of the same facebook friends as me, but I don't want them.

Regularly, I refuse friend requests from someone I don't know, I don't need the extra drama.

I think FB is gonna really mess up humanity.

Gonna? Did.

Check out America's obsession with feelings and people.