What do you guys think... did I overreact?

[motion]

So I have a racer buddy on Facebook as one of my "friends". He lives in a different part of the USA and I've only actually met him a couple times in person. Good guy, though. Married.

A couple weeks ago, he friend-requests my wife. She tells me that he did so, and I said, no problem... he's probably just trying to promote his business (he has a small boutique winery). So she accepts.

Immediately, he private messages her, saying: (paraphrasing here) "I hope your husband takes you on some of his trips, seeing as how he's always off running around the world."

Since he was friends with her, he could have easily clicked on her photos and seen photos from around the world that were recent.

Then, he posts a public remark on one of her photos, saying "Love a woman with power tools... and pink boots! Lol". (photo is of her holding a weed whacker while wearing a dress).

Drama, I know, I know

I de-friended his ass.

Last thing I need is my "friends" PM'ing my wife with crap like that. I figure he's probably going thru a divorce. Maybe he was drinking, I dunno.

Justified or over-reacting?

[Steve Carlton]

He's an azzhole.

[rwest]

You don't have conversations like that with another man's wife.

[vash]

Originally Posted by rwest

You don't have conversations like that with another man's wife.

EVER! justified!!

[JJ 911SC]

Originally Posted by Steve Carlton

He's an azzhole.

Oui, un vrais Trou de Cul.

Unfortunately, I think the "Face Book", "Tweeters" and the likes has or is destroying your country. So easy to attack while hiding behind the web.

[Jeff Higgins]

Isn't the entirety of social media all about over reacting? I don't participate in any way (other than on this forum) just because of the apparently ongoing soap opera and drama (I guess there is plenty of that here though too...).

I dunno - seem like pretty innocuous comments to me. I think if maybe you could see the expression on his face as he makes them, you may take them a bit differently, possibly in the light-hearted way in which he meant them. Some folks are just socially awkward, especially on social media. That, and it seems as though if there is any way whatsoever to view something in a negative light, that seems to be the default we are stuck with in this age of electronic communication. Maybe try giving him the benefit of the doubt.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by motion

Maybe he was drinking, I dunno.

Justified or over-reacting?

Justified.

Never play ANY silly games with another man's wife without 30 years of a friendship basis. The slant must be humorous, and is even then not without risk.

[icemann427]

Inappropriate PM. Period.

[masraum]

Seems a little weird to me, and I would have considered it a bit over the line. They weren't WAY over the line. It wasn't overt requests for nudie pics or "do you wanna hook up the next time your man is away from home", but they were a bit weird. It's entirely possible that his statements were completely innocent and he may have said them sitting at a table with both of you there, but since they weren't in person, that makes a difference. You need to be a bit more careful via text/email/etc... than when you are in person because things can be read and taken many different ways if the benefit of tone and facial/body-language isn't present.

[McLovin]

[wayner]

I think Facebook makes people think they know others better than they do, and it tends to blur the lines of appropriateness for some people

As a nice guy I rate his actions as inappropriate at best

As a pessimistic guy I rate his actions as aggressive or malicious

I don't think you overreacted
(You wouldn't want to have seen my reaction if it was me in your shoes right now )

At a minimum I wouldn't have simply unfriended him, I would have confronted him and called him on it, for a start

[asphaltgambler]

Thus is why I don't have social media .........'cept for here.

[recycled sixtie]

You are right to unfriend him. If in doubt I would. You or your wife don't need that kind of nonsense.

[Baz]

He broke the code of honor.

Ef him....

[Baz]

BTW....we may need to see that pic of your wife with the power tool....just for analysis purposes.....

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by masraum

It wasn't overt requests for nudie pics or "do you wanna hook up the next time your man is away from home",

His game is a little better than that, give him some credit.

[javadog]

Inappropriate, he was testing the waters.

I don't participate on Facebook. From what I've seen of it, there are far too many people (men especially) making comments like that.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by masraum

Seems a little weird to me, and I would have considered it a bit over the line.

Was fishing. As stated, he broke the code of honor.

You just don't do that unless a fool with a glandular problem.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Steve Carlton

He's an azzhole.

As the presiding PPOT page 1 azzhole, I take exception to that...don't need the company either .

Who knows what his intentions were..."might" have been innocent...but still wierd. I do know one thing though....I bet Ms. Motion is perfectly capable of putting him in his place .

The only way I will ever join FB is if....

Nope....just ain't gonna happen.

[stomachmonkey]

No, you did not over react.