Kids being nasty and parents just letting it happen

[berettafan]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the right planet. Watching sons baseball games this weekend at an away tournament and the older (10th grade?) sister of one of the boys was braiding the hair of one of the boys little sister. boy comes out of dugout (sunny and very hot day) and says to his sis 'can you get me a water please?'. Older girl, without even looking at him snaps at the boy that she's busy with getting her hair braided or whatever in a really nasty tone. you could see the hurt on the boy and he says to his little sister 'oh well when you're done would you please get me a water?'. ***** says nothing.

Older girls mom was right behind her when this happens and says/does absolutely nothing. one of the other parents jumps up and hand him one of their waters.

this older girl has been a total C to my little girl several times as well (literally looking away from my 8 year old when she runs up to talk to her) and never once has the mom said boo about it.

I gotta say it gets tiresome watching kids be nasty and even more so watching the parents see it and do absolutely nothing to correct it. so much 'get my kid ahead at any cost' going on these days and so little 'be a good human at any cost'. breaks my heart to see kids that aren't as socially adept fall behind and suffer in large part because adults effectively support this behavior.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Odds are good that the mother is an equally nasty person. Typically the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

[berettafan]

we've played ball with this family for 4 years and I've never seen the mom act nasty to anyone. the dad is downright fun to talk to and the kid, while not perfect, is not what I'd ever call mean or nasty.

it's not the people that are just ugly to everyone that are a problem so much. that stuff gets figured out pretty quick.

[ckelly78z]

In this era of perpetual distractions, the parents probably haven't done much parenting, and either let the TV, other freinds, or video games be the kid's nanny.

I used to think that maybe the parents have come from a rough upbringing, and are now compensating by letting their kids do anything they want, trying to be more of a freind, than a gaurdian.

[asphaltgambler]

Don't even get me started on this topic..........my wife and I watch in horror at ( fill in name of store / eatery) as the kids disrespect their parents..............obviously no real 'Home Training'

[vash]

i overstepped my boundaries a few weeks ago. i feel terrible about it. wasnt my place.

i have a soft spot for the elderly. it pisses me off when i see them treated as second rate citizens. there is a restaurant. the front door is effed up. if the fire marshall felt it, instant citation. the door needs that shock thing adjusted..it takes Herculean strength to open it. i saw an old man trying to push it open, it was going but slow. his wife was behind him waiting. just inside the door waiting to be seated were teens..just sitting there like idiots watching. i ran up, opened the door and held it for the old couple. when i got in there, i asked the kids why they didnt help? the parents sat there; mouths opened like dumbasses..(i now turned the firestorm towards them) i said maybe if their kids saw them helping occasionally, maybe they would learn some humanity.

"you cant say that to us!"

i told the manager, "you need to fix this door!" (fire code dictates maximum poundage to open a door)

my wife tugged me out, and said.."well, we cant eat there now"

i hope i'm NEVER one of those old dudes that tell stories, that start with, "when i was your age...."

there isnt a day that goes by, that i am not secretly grateful, i was not blessed with children. they look like they can be absolute hell.

[Evans, Marv]

We had some neighbors that moved away a few years ago. They had a little girl about three years old who was the worst kid I've ever seen. The parents never said anything to correct or influence her that I saw. When we would go over there, she would yell, "Neighbors go home." When an adult would attempt to talk to her, she'd look away and not respond at all. The local library had/has a program for little kids that they asked the mother to not bring her to. A local day care center rejected her. She's school age now, & I bet the mother/parents are having to (attempt to) home school her. The kid was on a path to disaster, & the parents were just letting her continue that way. I can't think they wouldn't realize what problems there would be for her & them in years to come.

[recycled sixtie]

The offending kids will get whacked in the outside world once they leave home if they ever do.
Generally kids are a reflection of their parents and generally good parents beget good children. However if they are spoiled watch out. Good for you vash. Being outspoken in some cases can work out.

Like your wife says we can't eat here. You have closed one door but that door needed fixing anyway....

[Tobra]

I have a bad habit of opening my mouth in situations like that.

[look 171]

Originally Posted by vash

i overstepped my boundaries a few weeks ago. i feel terrible about it. wasnt my place.

i have a soft spot for the elderly. it pisses me off when i see them treated as second rate citizens. there is a restaurant. the front door is effed up. if the fire marshall felt it, instant citation. the door needs that shock thing adjusted..it takes Herculean strength to open it. i saw an old man trying to push it open, it was going but slow. his wife was behind him waiting. just inside the door waiting to be seated were teens..just sitting there like idiots watching. i ran up, opened the door and held it for the old couple. when i got in there, i asked the kids why they didnt help? the parents sat there; mouths opened like dumbasses..(i now turned the firestorm towards them) i said maybe if their kids saw them helping occasionally, maybe they would learn some humanity.

"you cant say that to us!"

i told the manager, "you need to fix this door!" (fire code dictates maximum poundage to open a door)

my wife tugged me out, and said.."well, we cant eat there now"

i hope i'm NEVER one of those old dudes that tell stories, that start with, "when i was your age...."

there isnt a day that goes by, that i am not secretly grateful, i was not blessed with children. they look like they can be absolute hell.

Some people need to be told. I am lad you are the ugly doing that to better society Really, they need to be told.

My kids and I were sitting waiting on a table at a restaurant along with others we don't know. All of us were young including some 30 something young men. An old lady comes in with a walker, barely standing also waiting for a table. Most were talking, some on their phones. I waited just a little and no one, I mean no one got up to offer their seats to this old woman. I told my kid kid to get up and ask the old woman to sit down. I said to my kids right there and then loudly, this is what a young person is suppose to do for the older folks, not just sit there. Some looked at me like if I was a freak. I don't even think it sunk in with many of them. Sad place we line in. There were some parents with teenager there. I am not sure who to blame anymore.

I see it all too often at smaller mom and pop places where people are waiting on a table and the delivery guy with the hand truck full of boxes handling the door with no one offer to hold the door open.

[ckelly78z]

I remember being at a 7th/8th grade football game for my son, where the one of the cheerleaders on the sideline was getting out of hand. One girl was screaming at the top of her lungs at the CL adviser, and the over sensative parents both came to their daughter's aid. The whole issue boiled up over her not being chosen to lead, and choose the cheers, and to take a supporting role for those that were selected. She just wouldn't accept that, and niether would her parents....they all left in a huff, while the rest of us enjoyed the game.

[RKDinOKC]

Yep, we are entering the time when the kids that weren't allowed to be spanked are raising their own kids. They have not learned limits. Without limits they have no opportunity to be taught consideration for others.

[legion]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

The offending kids will get whacked in the outside world once they leave home if they ever do.

I am continually amazed at how rotten children are able to avoid any real responsibility as adults. I've seen several approaches "work" for the rotten child:

-Go to work for their parent/grandfather/uncle etc. and everyone kowtows to their wants while the other workers get to shoulder the burden.

-Get "hurt" at work and live a life of disability payments, painkillers, and video games.

-Have a mental breakdown because the real world is hard and uncaring. (Then go back and live with their parents, or go on disability.)

-Be a bully at work and make their lack of results everyone else's fault. (I've seen this one used successfully.)

-Go into a profession where performance doesn't matter. (There are lots of them out there.)

-Float through life with no real direction.

I assume one of my college roommates was a rotten child because he was a rotten roommate. He is the middle of 7 children and the only boy. He was used to getting whatever he wanted without question at home. In college, he was downright confused that we didn't leap to his beck and call. For example, if I was standing by the fridge, he might say something like: "Hey, I need a beer." After getting myself a beer, I might reply with something like: "That's too bad, you don't have any beer." He'd eat our food, drink our beer, never contribute anything himself to it, and kept a small fridge in his locked room so that no one else could eat his stuff. Anyway, 18 years out of college and he's never been able to keep a job, is married, and still lives with his mother.

[legion]

Originally Posted by RKDinOKC

Yep, we are entering the time when the kids that weren't allowed to be spanked are raising their own kids. They have not learned limits. Without limits they have no opportunity to be taught consideration for others.

I get told all the time how polite and well-behaved my children are.

[fastfredracing]

So what would you do? My son disrespected my wife, told her to fk off. I lit him right up, instantly. Did not even hesitiate. My dad would have beat my bloody .
Now I have to meet with cys. He told his teacher the next day, and they have to report it as abuse . He said he did not know if it was open hand, or fist. There were no marks on him. I slapped him upside the head. It was an attention getter . I would do it again in a spit second in the same scenario.
They state is going to tell me how to raise my children.

[oldE]

Originally Posted by RKDinOKC

Yep, we are entering the time when the kids that weren't allowed to be spanked are raising their own kids. They have not learned limits. Without limits they have no opportunity to be taught consideration for others.

Limits do not necessarily mean corporal punishment. My parents never struck me but there was no way I would have done something which would have made them disappointed in me. (I probably did but that's more from stupid choices ).
We are raising or four year old granddaughter and though I have thought about it when she tests her limits, she has never been struck. The comments we hear reflect her respect for others.
So far so good.
I will let you know how things turned out in fifteen years.

Best
Les

[legion]

Originally Posted by oldE

Limits do not necessarily mean corporal punishment. My parents never struck me but there was no way I would have done something which would have made them disappointed in me. (I probably did but that's more from stupid choices ).
We are raising or four year old granddaughter and though I have thought about it when she tests her limits, she has never been struck. The comments we hear reflect her respect for others.
So far so good.
I will let you know how things turned out in fifteen years.

Best
Les

Not all children need to be spanked, but there are also plenty out there that should be and aren't.

[oldE]

Originally Posted by legion

Not all children need to be spanked, but there are also plenty out there that should be and aren't.

Sometimes I think the parents need it more.

Best
Les

[dafischer]

I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields

[SCadaddle]

Originally Posted by vash

i overstepped my boundaries a few weeks ago. i feel terrible about it. wasnt my place.

i have a soft spot for the elderly. it pisses me off when i see them treated as second rate citizens. there is a restaurant. the front door is effed up. if the fire marshall felt it, instant citation. the door needs that shock thing adjusted..it takes Herculean strength to open it. i saw an old man trying to push it open, it was going but slow. his wife was behind him waiting. just inside the door waiting to be seated were teens..just sitting there like idiots watching. i ran up, opened the door and held it for the old couple. when i got in there, i asked the kids why they didnt help? the parents sat there; mouths opened like dumbasses..(i now turned the firestorm towards them) i said maybe if their kids saw them helping occasionally, maybe they would learn some humanity.

"you cant say that to us!"

i told the manager, "you need to fix this door!" (fire code dictates maximum poundage to open a door)

my wife tugged me out, and said.."well, we cant eat there now"

i hope i'm NEVER one of those old dudes that tell stories, that start with, "when i was your age...."

there isnt a day that goes by, that i am not secretly grateful, i was not blessed with children. they look like they can be absolute hell.

A couple of years ago or so, back when the "transgendered can choose and pick which restroom they want to use" issue was sweeping our Nation, I went upstairs with my 96 year old Dad to his office in the 5 story office building. We got off the elevator and he headed for the mens room. He stopped and told me to check out the door to the mens room. It went like this:

Dad: Check out that door on the mens room. See how hard YOU have to push to open it.

Me: Yeah, that's a heavy solid wood door with a hydraulic arm on the top of it.

Dad: I've told the building superintendent about it, but they haven't fixed it. My old shoulders are having a hard time with that door!

Me: Hang on Dad, let me see if I can adjust the hydraulic arm doo dad....nope.

The ladies room is adjacent to the mens room so.....

Me: Try THAT door...

Dad: Hell! That's the ladies room!

Me: So what. If anybody asks, tell them you identify with a 22 year old female trapped in the body of a 96 year old man. If you gotta go, you GOTTA GO!

Dad: (Chuckling) Oh, ok, like a transgendered person huh...

Me: Yep. Apparently nowadays it's perfectly ok. You're learning Dad.