admit to your stupidity

[dvkk]

This one is actually quite funny. It didn't happen to me, but a friend. He had a VW type 3 station wagon and was having trouble with it. He had the rear hatch open and the damn thing wouldn't start. It was to do with the starter, the solenoid wouldn't kick in all the time, so he crawls under the car in front of the rear tire with a screwdriver to jump the terminals, forgeting the car was in gear (automatic). Of course the car starts, and immediatly jumps forward until it stops against his body, with the torque converter slipping. He tried with all his might to roll the car backwards, but couldn't overcome the engine. But he was able to hold it, pinning himself. Problem was, he could hear the engine slowly increasing in rpms as it warmed up. He knew he couldn't hold it much longer, so he had to let go and allow the car to run him over. Now the car was heading down the driveway, so he leaps up and dives through the open hatch, crawling forward and just reaches the steering wheel in time to avoid a major insurance claim.
Later that day he met up with some friends, and one of them notices the tread mark on his t-shirt. So he relates the story. They were laughing so hard none of them believed it, so he whips his shirt off to show a clear Michelin XZX tread pattern in red across his chest and shoulder!

[Joe Bob]

Originally posted by 1fastredsc
Well, where do we start?
1) When i sold my 951 because it was having serious boost issues and (back then) i though that the motor was going to be toast. So my dad took it off my hands (i didn't charge him) and it turned out to be simple fixes.
2) While i owned the 951 i got the bright idea to make this string of oscillating LED's in electronics class to give it the night rider look under the stereo head.
3) I got into 3 consecutive stoplight races where i got up to 100mph and then stopped, then took off again. When i finally did stop my brakes were smoking considerably.
4) When i bought my 944 which had a slightly cracked block but i didn't know.
5) When my father and i put together the 944 engine the first time with the wrong oil pressure spring installed and it blew an oil filter apart.
6) In the course of 3 months i went through 3 pairs of front shocks on my old 88' nissan pickup, but of course i never went off road .
7) When i was driving behind a state cop in jersey on the 280 and the cop took and off ramp. So once he was out of view i stomped on it and took off. What i didn't realize was that the off ramp was attached to the corresponding on ramp and i got nailed doing 100mph in a 55 section (the highway was empty).
8) When i bought the 911 thinking that the hot start problem and the shifting issues were probably small fixes.
9) One time i was doing some welding not realizing that there were two gas containers under what i was welding with gas in them.

There's probably more but i can't think of anymore. I feel like a walking tim allen right now.

And YOU ARE alive?????

[Kevin G.]

Not a Porsche, but distantly related.

I was replacing the brake shoes on all four corners of my 63 Bug. My first time (sigh). I was having a devil of a time getting the springs to stretch and hook into their respective holes. Pliers kept slipping off, so I stick a Phillips through the upper loop of the spring, and hooked the lower end into it's hole. Applied mucho leverage... was just getting it edged over the lip of the upper hole.... bottom loop lets go.

I woke up 5-10 minutes later from my nap on the garage floor. Mirror shows a highly raised lump with an 'X' in the center right between my eyebrows. Thank God for large frontal plates. A hair lower in either direction and I would have put that sucker right into the ole brain case.

I had an interesting scar for the next 5 or so years to remind me of Darwin's laws.

Oh, yeah - the problem was that I had no idea that the front shoes were much larger than the rears, & I was trying to put the front shoes onto the rear drums. Springs were no where near long enough for the job.

[CamB]

Bill was right - it is a lug nut wrench.

Warren:

I believe that is South of the Equator for jack or chock.

John

Which makes this partial credit, because I didn't have a jack either. I found a way of getting that wheel in the air to check what was making the noise though

[dhaines]

I was cleaning carbs on the bench. I used a can of carb cleaner, blowing out all the passage-ways, as it was disassembled. Pointed the nozzel (you know the kind, long tube that hooks to the spray can) into a side hole. Well, the cleaner went into the carb, turned 90 degrees up and fires out a hole on top right into one of my eyes! Of course no safety glasses as I was at the invincible age of early 20's. I staggered around blinded until I could get someone to take me to emergency. Hurt like crazy!!!! Flushed out eyes, put in some goop and good to go, other than a brused ego and sore eyes! Really lucked out!!!!!

[Tim Walsh]

Doug,
I wear glasses so I've done that before with lesser concequences and but I have to say acetone is 10x worse. Don't ask.

[304065]

I try not to make mistakes anymore. Except on the race track when I am leading the class. Fortunately that doesn't happen very often. . .

BMW 2002 STORY

'75 BMW 2002- for the second time, the front subframe snapped in two just below the engine mount. You '02 heads (Cam) know what I mean. Had the motor and trans out of the car on an engine hoist next to my parents house, needed to roll the car backwards to clear the front of the car (I had removed the hood).

The car starts rolling backwards and I can't get it to stop. As it gained speed going down the gentle incline adjacent to the house I open the door and jump in, yank on the parking brake. Nothing. (the cables were so stretched that it took about 20 clicks to engage the brake) I attempt to put the car in gear to stop it, except the gearbox is dangling from the hoist 20 feet above. Along for the ride, I roll backwards down the driveway, toward the neighbor's lexus which is parked in the street below. . . until. . .

. . . in one of the luckiest moments of my life, my father drives into view in his 1980 Toyota Pickup. He had been waiting to turn down our street and saw the whole thing unfolding. He pulled the pickup into the driveway and waited for the impact- the '02 struck the right front fender of the pickup just inside the taillight housing (this was a '75, so it had the big square lights) fracturing the housing and denting in the rear panel, also dented the Toyota's bumper.

I learned a lot about metalworking repairing the Toyota (first) and the '02. I still shudder at the potential consequences had my dad not acted quickly that day. . .

[tangerine911e]

Mine is almost too embarassing to tell. Just like Cams, only worse.

Many years ago I had just completed a rebuild on the front calipers. Reassembled everything, wheels back on etc. Got distracted and went back into the house to answer the phone before I had a chance to tighten all the wheel lugs on the front left.

Took the car for a spin the next day. Next thing I know I see the front left wheel overtake the car. Not a good look, especially from my view on a narrow street with parked both sides of the road. Fortunately I was only going around 5MPH and damage was minimal (pride more than anything). I keep telling myself that someone tried to steal the wheels overnight, but I suspect this was not the case.

Ever since then I have been paranoid with all cars I drive(or am driven in) - I always check all the lugs everytime - and double check!

You must all now delete this post from your memory.

Ash

[sammyg2]

This one is on a 914: I glued the back window in place and decided to use a 2x4 to hold it until the mastic cured a little. I wedged the 2x4 between the rear window and the windshield ever so carefully. Man those 914 windows are thin and fragile

[83SC in PA]

Typical first-time oil change kluge - even after using the search engine on this site I still overflowed the drain pan and made a huge mess in the engine compartment removing the oil filter.

Other than that, several really bad Ebay buys, but I considered that the price of an education. Always check feedback and go with your gut! Example: I won a nice set of black/red Porsche floormats for a 911 from PAP but I have a coupe and cab and they don't come close to fitting either vehicle. I still have the mats if you have a car that they will fit!

[svandamme]

payed 15K euros on my car
no rust
rebuilt engine
new tires
you know, perfect state except for some minor thingies like fuel cap cable and sunvisor

didn't look at the car from below , asked for rebuild bill, maintenance record.

ok , call me a dumbass , there's two minor rusty spots to adress, suspension and cv boots need attention , started to leak a little bit of oil when temp in garage went down...most rubber parts dried out.

all things considered, no regretss buying the car, i love it with all my heart .. but at least i should have tried to get something of the price !!!

[Jamie79SC]

When I was in my early twenties, I learned that you NEVER re-use a cotter pin on the castle nut on any car - but especially not on a front wheel of an early 70's Subaru.

My wife (and two tiny children) learned that while you CAN drive an early 70 Subaru at freeway speeds with only three wheels
1) It leaves a cool trail of sparks in the night.
2) People get OUT OF YOUR WAY
3) You may never find that missing wheel and tire (we nver did...)

I should have gone to jail... Believe it or not, we're still married and the kids are grown.

[svandamme]

what is a castle nut???

[Jamie79SC]

A castle nut is that big nut at the end of the axle that holds the hub on the car.

[svandamme]

aaaah that nut

i had no idea, thank you for the enlightenment you showed me, the non native english speaker

[Jamie79SC]

Think of the top of a turret or tower on a castle. the cotter pin goes through where the "archers" stand.

[Zeke]

I only do stupid things at work. I've never done anything stupid with a car.

[MichiganMat]

Tried to rebuild the carb of my '85 Subaru GL and snapped the 4 inch hollow screw that held the 3 peices of the carb together. This was before I knew about old bolts and seizing. A few months later, broke the head off of a bolt that held most of the front drivers-side wheel on. Luckily everything was so seized up it didn't matter much.

But truely, the worst thing I've ever done is by my '74 without doing a PPI. The first two months were spend kicking myself as I discovered more and more rust and even some accident damage that I didn't notice when I bought it. Payed too much for the car, but got a pretty decent education out of it.

[scottb]

The thing that impresses me about Ryan's (srflvr's) picture is that he didn't let a "little" thing like a bleeding head wound keep him from dropping that 3.0. He's a tough mofo, that's for sure!

[NY65912]

Did it just last night. Changed front struts on the 85 911, I thought man this is going real well! I was listing to the Yankee - Boston game. Garciaparra hits an inside the park homer.......start cursing and throwing things around the garage....never tightened the lugs on the pass side wheel. Take it out for it's first spin with all new shocks....wow this is really going well!, so I decide to take it up a notch. All of a sudden something told me, "hey deeek did you tighten up the lugs?" Pulled over and tightened the lugs which were still barely hand tight. I was headed for the Belt Parkway and dare I say....disaster. Moral of the story....just like drinking beer and working on your ride, don't listen to sporting events, when your team f ups the game you'll be distracted. BTW things are not looking good right now either.