'57 Speedster Planter - or how I got this name

[hesaputz]

So you're cruising the nice part of town with your recent and lovely bride, dreaming and chatting about the rosy future that includes a house in a neighborhod like this, filled with loving sentiments and bright children. You slowly crest a hill on a wooded dead end street and spot something that seems out of place. " what's that, honey?" I don't know looks like somebody turned a boat upside down there and just covered it with a tarp."
"Hmm, you'd think they'd have ordinances about that on this kind of street. It's really unsightly."
As your car climbs the hill, the object takes on a disturbing, and vaguely familiar shape, and you recognize it as a car. And not just any car; as a Porschephile, you recognize the unmistakable melted shape of a 356 under that Kmart tarp
Well , this just demands investigation, and as you lift a corner of the cover (first making sure that no one's watching), you can see the distinct rear cowl and doors of a Speedster.
Convinced now that you've found the Great White Whale, you ring the bell, ask the owner if he'd consider selling for X, then y, how about z? He politely declines, says he plans to put it back together someday.
A little disappointed but not depressed, you head home , but find it difficult not to think of that Speedster from time to time, restored, sitting in your driveway, glorious in black with red buckets. And so every year or two, you cruise down that street, see the forlorn lump under the tarp, ring the bell, and ask again. Two years; 5 years; twelve years;20 years; the answer always the same. And finally when your graying wife asks if you think the old guy will ever sell the car, you reply " nah, honey; he's just another putz with a car he'll never restore."





Hesaputz

[Zeke]

Nothin' that $75,000 wouldn't fix.

[hesaputz]

I have most of the stuff together - new interior, motor, trans, wheels, rebuilt instruments, windshield, etc, missing very little. I'm simply lazy. I think that this will be my last project before the big send off.

[Zeke]

I take it back then. $65,000

[hesaputz]

Oh,man! you're bustin my bubble.
Wifes not gonna be at all pleased to hear - no she car, furniture, or pedicures for the next 5 years. Maybe I can knock it down to 63k, trade some catfish and brush clearing to the bodyman.

[Az911]

That car is begging to be put back together.

[Zeke]

Call this guy. I bet he don't take catfish.

http://www.willhoitautorestoration.com/

They are the ones that bring these prices to bear. He does have some parts, though. And then there's this place in Costa Mesa.....hmmmmm. They'd probably take that kind of money and do half the work.

[hesaputz]

Well, then;
Looks like I'll be buying a belt sander, paint, maybe a $200 arc welder. Anybody know whereI can get a quantity discount on sanding belts and spray bombs? Also, I'm lacking a steering wheel and shifter. What do you think about Grant and Hurst?

[Wayne 962]

It's not nice to tease...

-Wayne

[hesaputz]

Sorry,Guys. Getting myself into a mood this eve, but I shouldn't take it out on the board.
After 5 years of paying outrageous insurance rates, I finally get a big break when the daughter turns 21. Rate adjustment May 5th, and she just got a DUI. If it weren't for stuff like this on a weekly basis, I'd hand the Speedster and a wad of money to somebody and say "bring it back in a year, done just how I want it.

[nostatic]

Originally posted by hesaputz
Rate adjustment May 5th, and she just got a DUI.

my kid gets a DUI, and I'm not paying for any insurance or car. So that will save you money right there...

[KevinP73]

I've got an idea !!! Send the car to me and I'll return it when I'm finished. You can pay me then or along the way doesn't matter. What color do you want it? although you might have to change your handle from "hesaputz" to 'hesoutdrivinit".

[Neilk]

David,

I have just the person to restore your Speedster. He about 60 miles out of Dallas. He has restored lots of 356s. PM if you want to take the plunge some day.

[sundaypunch]

So how 'bout a full body shot?

[john walker's workshop]

how about selling it to ME.

[atlporsche]

my kid (I have none) gets a DUI?

No more kid under my wad of dough...it's called RESPONSIBILITY.

suddenly there's tons more money for the speedster.

sjd

[speeder]

You pay the auto insurance for drunken 20 yr. old "children"? You are a putz. Where were you when I was growing up?

Actually there is a 12-step program for people like you.

Here is my advice. You didn't ask for it, but it will change your life:

Make your daughter get a job and see how far she goes supporting herself. That will give her humility, the greatest of human characteristics. Take all of the $$ that were using to support her lifestyle and put it in the Speedster, doing the work yourself. It will be enourmously rewarding, much more so than handing it over to one of those 356 artist/primadonna/thiefs who will basically assume ownership of it, (I have first hand knowledge of this), and Voila! Another cool car on the road and another "child" on the road to possibly being a contribution to society!

I'll bill you later.

[RickM]

356 restoration (The best):

"The “World Famous” Paterek Brothers Workshop!
Ray and John will conduct an on-the-fly seminar for both Novice and Veteran groups. Emphasis will be on the Preservation and Preparation of Body, Paint, Interior, Storage and Engine. Prepare for the upcoming season with personal help from the Concours Experts!

NNJR/PCA Members for 32 years, 356 Registry Members 29 years, National Tech committee 17 years, Winners at Meadowbrook ’89, Louis Vuitton Classic’96,’97,’98; Greenwich’97, Amelia Island ’98 and ‘02, Pebble Beach ’98, Jerry Seinfeld’s 1st Invitational Hamptons Concours 2000, AACA 1st Junior 2001, Restoration of the year at the 2003 Parade, and owner of the most original ’52 Gläser America Roadster, recently featured on the Today Show and “Excellence was Expected”. All prepared with Paterek Preferred products.

Directions to Paterek Brothers:
13 Commerce Street, Chatham, NJ 973 635-5924"

[KevinP73]

Originally posted by speeder
It will be enourmously rewarding, much more so than handing it over to one of those 356 artist/primadonna/thiefs who will basically assume ownership of it, (I have first hand knowledge of this),

Damn Dennis I thought we were buds !! I've never seen myself as a primadonna or a thief! Oh by the way I'll need your car for a short trip this weekend. I'm not sure when I can get it back to you but rest assured the bill won't be near as high as it was last time I let you keep it for a week.

[speeder]

Actually, I wasn't refering to you in that catagory, Kev. I think that you would be a great candidate to put this car together.

There is a whole 'nother world of 356 specialists who take your car for years and hang up on you when you call to check on it. I have a buddy w/ a '57 speedster that put it in one well known shop here and they had it for YEARS! I mean, come on! It is possibly the simplest fricking car ever made, makes a 911 look like the Space Shuttle in comparison, for chrisakes!

I don't know whether David is here in SoCal, but he is a great kidder and I think that he knows all of the usual cast of characters in the speedster world. He's having some fun with us, right David?

P.S., David, be careful leaving that thing outside for so long. See the "somebody left a 356 to rot" thread elsewhere on this board.