Some laughs for anyone driving a rust bucket!!

[RPMClassic]

A recent article in PCA Newsletter by a fellow member............

Four Speeds and Drum Brakes

When the calendar turns the corner and starts down that Jan,
Feb and Mar slope, those of us in New England tend to sit in front of the
fire a lot. It wasn't always that way. There was a time that we were out in
the cold making those stories not just retelling them. We still go up north
for a little ice driving on Newfoundland Lake in the dead of winter, but
now it's in a car with heat, four wheel drive and real tires. Boy, have we
gotten soft.
There was that ride from D.C. to Baltimore one cold weekend with
a girl that I was trying to impress.I took my '58 A coupe that only had the
heater hooked up on the drivers side. It was so cold on the passenger side
that a Coke that spilled on the floor froze to the mat. Not very impressive
but still a great ride.
An all night ride from D.C. to Syracuse just to meet a friend
for breakfast (and to see if the '53 Sunbeam Talbot Salon would make it
that far). Heater ? We didn't need a heater. We had a couple of blankets in
the back covering the torn seats and protruding springs.. Besides it was 50
degrees when the four of us left D.C. at 9 PM. How cold could it get
just a couple hundred miles north? How about 10 degrees with snow flurries
by 6 am ? I never realized how many holes that car had in it until that icy
wind started coming through at highway speed. Even the steel sunroof, that
sealed just fine in a warmer climate, brought in more wind that an open
window. But we made it back in time for class on Monday. OK, we had to stop
at that gas station in Elmira NY , pull up the floor boards and add 3 1/2
qts of oil to the transmission to stop the wailing noise that was
overtaking the radio. I still say that we could have made it with the 1/2
qt that remained if it wasn't for the noise.
We used to look for challenge like the Tri State Rally that covered
ME, NH, and VT over a 24 hr period. A $100 bet that said we (Ed Sanborn &
I) couldn't finish the Rally in a $100 car. The weapon of choice turned out
to be a '68 Opel Kadette with a 1100cc engine in it. We were told to dress
warmly and did with Long Johns and all. In the middle of the night a belt
was slipping on the generator causing the voltage to the heater fan to
drop, stopping the flow of heat off the lawnmower sized engine. I jumped
out on the side of a logging road to tighten the belt and thought I'd left
my pants in the car. It was 22 degrees below zero and the wind was blowing
hard enough to rip the doors off the car if you weren't careful. All I got
from my driver was " what's taking so long?" Somehow it always seemed
colder when it was dark than when it was light. When the eastern sky
started to lighten the coffee always seemed to taste better even if you
were in the back of the pack on the scoreboard. You'd made it through
another challenge. And usually gotten some great stories along the way.
Doing four wheel power drifts in the snow are still great fun it's
just that now you have to do them in your long driveway. Or when nobody's
around. And it always seemed to me that we used to go a lot faster. Like at
70 or 80 miles per hour in 6 inches of snow. Now I look down and I'm only
doing 45 and that's the absolute limit. Maybe it's like revisiting our old
elementary school. Everything looks smaller than we remembered.
Now we're older and wiser and it's just as much fun. There are some
real benefits to being older. You don't get pulled over as much and when
you do you have a 50/50 chance at getting a warning as a ticket (ask me how
I know). Now, your driving may have toned down some or you may be just
"picking your spots" a little more carefully. Or when the db level of the
stainless exhaust system starts to attract attention just say that the car
actually belongs to your kid and it seems loud to you too. When the cop
asks why you have a Grateful Dead sticker on the back of your car, you can
tell 'em that your kid put it on there and you're not sure of the name of
the band. Works for me! It's amazing what they let old guys get away with.

[rscupper]

Thanks for sharing that, it's great. It brings back alot of 'little' memories that were otherwise forgotten. Gosh, the unknown was so much fun then. I can't relate to the snow driving but I can relate to the attitude. How does one grow out of immortality?

[Kurt B]

That is a great read. Thanks for posting that!

[emcon5]

Ah yes, to be young and stoopid.

I grew up outside St. Louis, and learned to drive in the snow in my 1980 VW Rabbit. I had a great time playing rally driver in the back parking lot of the local shopping mall (the one they never plowed, with no curbs or street lights). Like having my own private skidpad. A little electrical tape to hold down the button on the parking brake and I was off. I also perfected the "Hardpacked-snow-hate-my-tranny" method of stopping. Lock the brakes, and while sliding, put the car in reverse and dump the clutch as you release the brake/stomp the gas (intro to heel & toe). Worked remarkably well, and threw a little roostertail of snow forward. Pretty stupid, but seemed like the thing to do at the time. I feel kind of bad for whoever bought that little car after I traded it in.

I also remember the night before I took the ACT's, I went to a small low-key social gathering. About 3AM I figured I should get home and sleep for a few hours. When I tried to drive away, I heard a strange dragging noise. Turns out my parking brakes had frozen on. The plastic shielding that kept the water out was chipped away, and water had got in with the cable and the metal sleeve it ran in. I hosed them down with windshield deicer, and parked in the garage (dragging rear wheels and all) hoping they would thaw. No luck. I finally managed to break up the ice by grabbing the cables and twisting the crap out of them by hand until the ice broke up enough to let the cable release. So I am finally on my way home, about 5AM, and need to get gas so I can make it home. I get to the gas station, and my locking gas cap has frozen shut. Luckily I had my tool box, and with a combination of a tire iron, a Big-Honkin' Screwdriver and a claw hammer, I removed what was left of the gas cap. Got home just as the sun came up.

Brian, really good question. That is something I try to keep in mind any time I have to interact with a 15-19 year old. You couldn't tell me anything when I was that age either. I think I discovered that I didn't know everything the first week of Navy boot camp. Something about a amateur sadist beating on a trash can at 4am made the light bulb go off in my head pretty quick.

Tom

[howie944]

Driving from (Oh God) Rantoul Illinois to Biloxi Mississippi on a 3 day weeknd in a beat up Triumph (belonged to a lady friend who I later found out that weekend was...umm gay!) to see her friend. Seeing trees in the road where there weren't any and of course the 10 hour stay and the ride back (much less social than ride down) Knowing you had to be back at the base for work the next morning. Arriving just in time to shower and shave and get to work! The Upper Peninsula of Michigan donning your finest Air Force issued cold weather gear, crawling under your Blazer with a blow torch and heating the oil pan so the darn thing would turn over and start. Minus 30 degrees! Driving 150 miles to visit a girlfriend who forgot you were coming and had "company" when ya got there! Oh the things we did when young!

[howie944]

By the way Trash can beating and bed throwing should be considered rites of passage!

[rscupper]

You're absolutely right, Howie. But I think it's something one should do alone

[stormcrow]

Owned a 1955 chevy V8 once that I paid $10.00 for. The car was a red primer and had been sitting for about a year. The car ran great with the exception of it stalling every now and then and it wouldn't do it all the time. Checked everything out tested fuel pump, carburator but they checked out ok.

When the engine did stop, I had to wait about five (5) minutes before it would start up and I would be on my way. This only happened at around 55 mph. In the city, ther was no problem.

I was living in PA at the time and worked in Boston, Ma. I used to come home on weekends to visit my girl friend now wife. The trip normally took about 8 hours back then (1970) and I did my share of driving back and forth. I would leave Boston on Friday after work and return leaving PA on Sunday evening about 11:00 pm and drive all night.

When I headed back to Boston on this particular Sunday evening - I was having more of a problem then usual trying to keep the car running. On several occasions I would get under the car, remove the gas tank drain plug let out a little gas and the car would start immediately.

About halfway between Hartford CT and Boston, the car just quit. I was sort of stranded on the side of the road on interstate (95). After assessing the situation, I decided to take the carburator apart to see if the problem was there. After the disassembly process, I found the bottom of the fuel bowl full of varnish ( you know, the red slimy substance that sort of forms when gas sits for a long time). I cleaned the bowl, reassembled the carburator and fired up the engine. This took about an hour to do and by this time it was about 6:00 am in the morning.

Well I made it to Boston and was going through the tunnel to Logan Air Port during rush hour and bingo - the car quit. Talk about being P****d. Horns blowing, people yelling and traffic backed up trying to get around me.

Well, I had enough and once the car did start, I pulled off the side of the road on the other side of the tunnel. I was either going to fix fix the problem or abandon the car.

After assessing the situation again, I determined the only thing I hadn't done was check the fuel line from the gas tank to the fuel pump and the fuel tank itself.

I proceeded to drain the gas out into a storm drain, dropped the gas tank and removed it from the car. To my surprise, what I found was the screen inlet in the tank for the line to fuel pump had a ball of varnish in it. That explained why it would act erratic. At low speeds, the ball would be at the end of the screen tube, but when the flow increased, it would suck it into the tube and stop gas flow.

Finally got to work about 11:00 am and after I explained what had happend my boss said I needed a raise so I could buy a more dependable car.

Never had a problem after that, and ran the car for another year before I sold it for a dollar.

end of story.

Steve

[paulhagedorn]

Still in the young and stupid mode...not being married and all. I have made my fair share of stories...

Most memorable so far:
Thursday I get my car(914) back from having it serviced. Start to drive back to the dorms and it quits...no gas and a malfunctioning Fuel Level sender. No problem, friend with me takes me to get some gas and come back to the car.
Start driving back. Come up to heavy traffic right before my exit, car dies again. Can't get it to start, so we pushed it to a parking space.
Start tinkering with car, looking at fuses, etc. 2 hours into looking at it, remembered it had rained horribly the night before and noticed that the people who serviced it didn't have the plastic cover over the relay panel. Noticed the fuel pump wasn't working at all so replaced the relay and fired right up. So I go to the football game that we had going on and convinced the guy to let me in since I had given my ticket away.
Friday, leave around 11 am to drive some 300 miles to visit the girlfriend. Figure it should take no more than 5 hours. Get going and about 3/4 of the way there the car starts to act funny. It dies at a stop light so I get a guy to help me push it into a parking lot. Start looking at things not knowing what the deal was...car starts after about 1/2 an hour. Get lost going for about an hour. 5 hour trip ends up being nearly 8 hours. Finally get to the gf's place and settle in for a night of dancing, taking my car. Get to the dance without a problem. After dance, the car won't start, but that isn't a problem because we are on a hill. Get the car rolling and start it that way...get home no problem. Next day, drive the car and don't have too much problem, but car seems to be a little weak. Next day, Sunday, leave around midnight to go back home for a class at 8am. Within 30 minutes get pulled over for doing 55 in a 20(had entered a small town and didn't see the speed limit change). Cops let me go and point me in the right direction because I was lost, again. Pull over to get gas and when I push in the clutch, nothing happens. Fill up, and look under the car and notice supposed good mechanics had forgotten the second nut to lock the clutch cable in place. Tighten it so I can go again and get on the road. Right as I get back to campus, the car dies so I park it. Take my stuff up to my room. It is now 7 am. Go back to car and get it started and park it where it is supposed to go. After class I tried to start the car, but no go. Called the mechanics and they paid for a tow truck to pick up my car...they look at it and notice that the head had cracked where the head temp sensor went, which controls the mixture for the 914. They want to charge an astronomical amount to drop the engine and have the head repaired...so I said no, got a resistor for approximately what the sensor would read if the engine were hot and plug it in, put the engine tin back on, fire it up and off we go...Oh the joys of playing with cars.