[masraum]

Originally Posted by NY65912

I have 5 grandkids. One, my oldest has been diagnosed as " mildly" autistic. He has always exhibited signs that I, my daughter and SIL whom are both educators have picked up on as well as my sister and BIL whom were school principals. I have spoken to my son and his wife and they would always respond with, "his teachers say he is wonderful and extremely intelligent", so he doesn't need any special attention. My SIL works for the NYC Dept of Ed and places kids with special needs for services.

It is a heartbreak to see him struggle in social situations. I would do anything to help him. When he has a sleepover we have a blast and he doesn't want to go home which then upsets him and his parents. They try hard to help but they are the parents and there is only so much my wife and I are able to do. We adjust to him. I used to try to mold him in to boy in my own image and that was wrong. We have to let him be himself. He is a very considerate, well behaved and respectful boy. We can only support him on his journey.

I'd love to hear if anyone has delt with a similar circumstance.

Thanks for listening. Cheers

It sounds like you and others in his life are aware and potentially knowledgeable. I think these days, if you want to be more knowledgeable there are probably lots of resources. I think you're on the right track with the "let him be himself" idea. Maybe read up and try to help clue him in on social stuff where you can.

Originally Posted by NY65912

They are finally accepting the fact that he is different. They have been in denial for sure. Going forward I am confident that my grandson will receive the proper support. But, his parents were an obstacle because of their pride perhaps.

That's great. The wife and I suspect our oldest grandson could be on the spectrum, but I think his parents are in denial. I suspect the missus and I may be mildly on the spectrum, but were never/have never been diagnosed. We've just muddled through.

I certainly could have used some help, but didn't know what the problem was to ask for help, and no one else recognized things back in the 80s, so... Social stuff through HS and college sucked, but improved over time, I think just because things get less "cliquey" as you get older.

Good luck, to you and him, but it sounds like things are on a positive path.