Depends how you look at them
If you are talking about the washer that sits on the inside of the CV joint, I believe it goes like this
--C|X|
where -- is the shaft, C is the washer, and |X| is the cv joint itself, so only the lip of the washer touches the inner race, and it pushes it away a bit. When I did this, it was a touch difficult to get the snap ring on, but the joint was very solid where it was. That's how mine came apart as well.
I tried fitting it the other way, and it allowed the CV joint itself to slide back and forth a bit, so I changed it back around.
The red stuff is cool. When it turns deep brown/black, it's time to change it, as well as it supposedly protects better than moly disulphide (black moly grease for CV's). It's almost as sticky when cold, but it stays put better once it gets nice and warm. Plus, it doesn't stain your hands like the black stuff does.
I remember repacking my CV's when the bolts backed out shortly after I bought my 86, that was my first experience with black moly grease. I had perpetually dirty hands for about a week until the skin died and fell off, lol.