Nice rant.
About a year ago, OTL had an article of mine describing all of the alternator belt stuff. Why some models and not others, differences in tensioning, etc. If you have the splined pulley on the alternator you should use the newer PK592 belt and set it by distance. If the older pulley with the nut, PK611 and set by tension.
BMW did a really shi++y job implementing and disseminating this change.