[aigel]

Sounds like you guys have some issues if something as simple as an anniversary can lead to such grief.

You certainly messed up communicating the fact that you do not plan on a gift. If the trip was a gift later, you should have made a simple gift certificate on your computer or at least written the card out as a gift certificate with some detail (Hawaii trip, 3 star hotel, 1 week, spring 2010).

On the other hand, if you profusely apologized for not getting anything and for the mis-communication, your wife should not carry a grudge and punish you with such treatment throughout your anniversary weekend. There also should be some slack cut for the fact that you are obviously overworked. You aren't working for fun - it is for the family income.

The rule in a relationship should be to bring out what bothers you, make piece and move on with life. Best do this before the day is over. No carrying grudges for days / weeks. The better you get at doing this in a relationship, the easier it will be in the long run.

You will only get busier at work, with kids, elderly parents, house renovations, health problems and what not later in your relationship. If you can not figure out how to work as a team now - it will be an ugly journey later. Life is supposed to be easier and more fun as a couple.

George