[aigel]

Not sure if 2bones situation includes having accepted significant financial support from the inlaws. I was just guessing what he means with "generous". It is very common that generations lend a hand to each other, i.e. on housing and kids education. It complicates things unnecessarily if there is a conflict.

Even if this isn't the case in 2bone's OP situation - his wife apparently is not on board putting the foot down - that's why I suggested a passive move that may give the desired results without any damage done (aside from the FIL's liver).

G