Someone has to say it:






show them this thread.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1624997818.jpg

So much today.

hahahah! Roflmao!

I was just about to say the same thing.

You are in this situation because you AND your wife allowed it to happen.

My wife’s cousins recently moved out of their parents home at about 30. The older son left 2 years after his sister bought a place (she has a degree in IT). The 30 something boy got a degree that gets him a low paying job. I joke that their mom goes to their places on weekends to do their laundry… maybe it’s true?

Yep, the problem is the OP. There will always be people willing to mooch off of you if you choose to let it happen. 30 years old is too old to still be breast feeding...someone needs to drop-kick these mooches through the goal posts.

I will take you any day over him.

...of life.

My Mom’s side of the family is very extended and it is not unusual for sons to stay at home into their mid 20’s; but, a huge but, not paying your fair share, not helping, not being hyper respectful is simply not tolerated.

Me? I can’t imagine having a SIL in the house. Complete nightmare scenario.

I remember seeing this on my grandparents' coffee when I was 12. Why, exactly, it had such an impact me I can't say with certainty, but the words and image have been seared in my memory ever since.

https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/a58/...tical.w330.jpg

I kept telling my friend Cindy that they need to have a talk about sharing, paying, maintaining, the place. She cooks for them daily at their request of the type of food they want. Cindy lives to cook bty. They sold their house and moved into a 3 bed, 2 bath condo after early retirement. Now kid and new wife's back to stay. They need a heart to heart chit chat. Kid's wife should get the message if she's smart. Yep, they are 28 and 30. That seem to be the magic number. As for their son, no need for a heart to heart and beating around the bush isn't needed. He's their kid, tell him like it is. At 90K a year, I would be goooone and come home to visit a couple time a month.

Guys still living at home in their mid 20s is one thing.

But after they’re MARRIED??

That’s a whole new level of loserville.

And, to add to that, not even his own parents, but HER parents?

That’s off the chart.

It’s actually pretty stunning. I’ve lived many decades and known a lot of people, but looking back I honestly have never known anybody who has done that.

As a man he’s a special level of loser even by today’s low standards.

It’s too bad your daughter didn’t feel she could do better for herself.

Ha ha.....that made me laugh.......:D:pSmileWavy

1990C4S, I'm wondering if you are interested in adopting a little boy.

Honestly I won't be any trouble. In fact I won't do anything. Ya know, watch a bit of TV and eat quite a lot, but I certainly won't be any trouble.

Other than borrowing the car maybe.

That is not kindness or cheap, that is taking advantage. He (they) are taking your kindness for weakness.

I would quite literally live in my car before I ever moved back home...it wouldn't be fair to my loving parents, and it would make me feel like a sponging failure...evidently these young people have no shame, or feel no guilt/responsibility about doing the right thing.

Just to be a bit more transparent: Second marriage. Not my kids.

My kids are well educated and out on their own. And they won't ever come to live with me because they have their own houses, and because I would not pamper them.

I did not include that info because the thread was meant to be about being a cheap prick, not about parenting. But here we are.

Originally your house? Her house? or something you bought together?

Originally hers, I now own half; she covers the cost of her kids, I look after my (remote) kids.

The cost of 'carrying' them doesn't really affect me. And the work they avoid is work I would be doing anyway (grass, pool, paint, etc).

The daughter of my next door neighbors along with her husband, both in their late 20's just moved in to the parents home. They had been living in Oakland but with the COVID have been working at home. So with that still possible they are likely using the situation to save for their own home.

Meanwhile they got a dog. Life has changed in the last 3 weeks for me as it used to be very quiet over there. If you look at our houses, they make kind of a horseshoe with my driveway in the center. Not a word spoken from the close portions of the 2 houses can't be heard and understood by each other. We are careful to keep that side of the house's widows and doors closed.

The kids have opened everything up on their side and life has changed big time. She was here when I moved in 21 years ago as a sub teen. She was always loud singing and screaming. I always figured the dad was molesting her but I had no evidence other than the screaming. For sure she was gone off to college almost the day she got out of grade school and visited maybe once a year.

I thought getting the dog was really insensitive and rude, both to the parents and us. The worst part is the continuous baby talk to the dog. No doubt in my mind that the dog serves as a surrogate child.

Shut my mouth! The real deal could appear in 9 months. At some point I guess I should just get a PA system with a shotgun mic pointed at their window. Nothing like hearing your own babbling over a loud speaker.

couchee couchee coo

THAT would be funny!

Parenting is what it is once it's baked in. All you can do is manage the damage.
There are a lot of variables that destroy the best of intentions going in. Effed up mom, effed up dad, effed up marriage, poor parenting skills, on and on....

The kid is an adult. Time to stop thinking parenting and start treating him like a cheap prick adult.