The couple over the back fence on the west side are late 70s. They have two adult sons that seem to come live there regularly. I only know that because they are both heavy smokers. The parents don't let them smoke in the house, so they go in the back yard and stink up the area. They seem to be on an alternating schedule as someone is smoking back there almost continuously. The only time it is really bad is when I am in the driveway washing my cars and the wind is the right direction.

The two sons have to be in their 30s, and one of them on occasion brings over a daughter to see the grandparents. The yard is mowed my a commercial service and the place looks nice, so that is all I care about.

I hate neighbor's smoke and smells. We have both a ciggy and MJ smoker nearby. I can't stand the smell of weed. I've smoked some when I was much younger, not a whole lot. If I knew how bad the smell was to others I wouldn't have touched it.

I tried cigs a couple of times and almost fell down dizzy. That siht is powerful.

the young guy should be moving heaven and earth to appear like the kinda man parents want their daughter to marry. even if he has to fake it.

Our parents were saints on both sides of the marriage.
Just before Christmas '77, the house we were renting burned to the ground. We moved (with our three cats) into my parents house for almost four weeks until I had a job offer in another town.
Almost 4 years later we were preparing to build and put our own house on the market. It sold almost right away and we moved in with her folks while I worked in the days and built our new house in the evenings and on weekends.
We were under our own roof for Christmas.
Neither of our families would accept rent, so we lugged home groceries.
My MIL, the only survivor of that generation, sometimes complains I do not accept payment for plowing her driveway, maintaining her house and fetching her groceries. I tell her I can never repay her for all they have done for us.

Best
Les

Key is I bet they, she, were sorry to see you go.

That is the way you do it, E.

This

Great story Les.

This is how civilizations works.
Pull your weight, accept responsibilities and help out when you're able.
Remember the sacrifices others made for you and pay it back and pay it forward.
Say "thank you" with words and deeds.
Everybody wins.

.ibid

Find local rental comps. Charge them.
Put it into escrow for their use later with approval (down payment, etc).

They can invest in themselves now or piss it away to strangers.

1990C4S - Give me your MAN Card and I'll provide free tutoring to get you out of this mess, then your card returned. I would really enjoy being your Messenger............I have references.

America...how it used to be... I truly miss it. Not saying it can't be found today, it's just harder to find.

h_o, I applaud your summation!

Who was it that had "the room monkeys"? Was it Imcarther? I miss that guy.

Imcarthur. Missed it by that much...

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/504345-ummmmmmm-whats-dinner-tonight.html

^^^ Yep... that was Ian. I miss him too... hope he is well!

Full disclosure:
The house I was building was not quite a half mile away, at the far corner of the property. Until my FIL planted a band of trees in a wet area near the pond, half way between, she could look out the window and see our house.
One day, years ago before the trees grew up, the MIL was indeed looking out her kitchen window and remarked she saw a car driving down our driveway, the FIL's comment,"Mind your own business, woman." Its funny because they never did interfere or poke their noses in. Amazing people.

When I was finishing the roof on our house, my own father came 220 miles for a visit and climbed up on the roof with me to help shingle. He was 81 at the time.

The wife and I both hit the lottery when we chose our parents. They're a hard act to follow, but they mapped it out pretty well.

Thanks for all the kind comments, Guys.
Best
Les

We've had relatives (not off-spring) live with us in the past - as well as currently (the MIL the past 20 years.) They always paid "rent" - a very reasonable amount for a 1 BR rental like would be advertised on the "List" site. That one charge also includes groceries, utilities, dry cleaning and anything else. The MIL also has one of our charge cards to pay for food when out - or to pick up take-out when the wife and I eat out for example.

If off-spring had to move in - they would have a similar offer - unless they were under hardship, etc. If employed - they are also paying rent.

last year was a very hard year for me. lost a job. lost a lot of money i’ll never get back. father’s day 2020, 3 months into unemployment and an unknown future, i had father’s day here. did a seafood boil along with ribs and a lot of other stuff. cost me $700 at least.

not trying to toot my own horn but i simply do not understand people like your SIL. probably raised in a barn as my grandpa would have said.

Well said. Thank you.

MM Miller is right though, "America...how it used to be... I truly miss it. Not saying it can't be found today, it's just harder to find."

These days we seem to lead with fear rather than compassion. Just look at the "Guy slept in my boat" thread here.

We lived with my parents when we moved to WI from CA, but only long enough to find a house.

And add a 5% yearly 'maintenance' fee. :D

The escrow concept a great idea, and might get the missus on board. A win-win for everyone.

Very least it can lead to a good discussion between you and your wife. How long will this last? What is the bigger picture? What incentives for them to start their own lives? Will they be here at age 40? 45? 50? What are we doing to insure they won't be here at age 40? Where did my beer go? Where did my food go? Why am I the pool boy? etc...