Question for the dating experts on here.

[OT+PARF Moderator 2]

Closed. #'s 1/2/9

[Baz]

Your everlasting summer you can see it fading fast
So you grab a piece of something that you think is gonna last
Well you wouldn't even know a diamond if you held it in your hand
The things you think are precious I can't understand

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

i mean i quoted the exact post.

if you dont want to defend that statement, then feel free to say so. no one is stopping you.

The words you quoted are not the words you keep repeating (what you claim I posted). In fact, they are totally unrelated. If you have to change the words completely to make them fit your argument, then your argument has failed. It is silly to have to keep correcting you, but I will not have someone misrepresenting what I say/post unchallenged.

I am completely comfortable in what I post...just not your rewording my posts (and claiming they are my words). Why don't you stick to describing your position and let me describe mine (since you cannot seem to even remotely do so accurately)?

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by fintstone

The words you quoted are not the words you keep repeating (what you claim I posted). In fact, they are totally unrelated. If you have to change the words completely to make them fit your argument, then your argument has failed. It is silly to have to keep correcting you, but I will not have someone misrepresenting what I say/post unchallenged.

I am completely comfortable in what I post...just not your rewording my posts (and claiming they are my words). Why don't you stick to describing your position and let me describe mine (since you cannot seem to even remotely do so accurately)?

it would be inaccurate to describe your post, without the context to what you are responding to.

ie if your post is defending a phrase or action, it does not need to contain that phrase or action as a direct quote in order for that to be your words, your point, and your post.

this is logic 101.

example:

Me: 2 + 2 = 4

you: no it doesn't!

me: so you dont think that 2 + 2 = 4?

you: i never said that, find a quote!!!!

me: i did, you said no it doesnt in reponse to my claim.

you: no you didnt! i never said that. why cant you find a quote eh?

[fintstone]

As noted, I see dating per the traditional definition: ""Dating" is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the category of courtship, consisting of social events carried out by the couple either alone or with others."

If one is going on dates just for sex or has "friends with benefits"...then that changes the dynamic and is something else entirely. If one is simply doing activities with male and/or female friends, that is not really a date. Even if there may be some attraction.

I personally don't date anyone (not that many opportunities have not been presented). No, I don't "date" my wife. That is absurd. We live together and spend most of the day/night together. Going to dinner, travel/vacations, sleeping together (anything one might do on a date) ...are normal daily activities.

You see, I am pretty sure that I can claim to have won the dating game. I see it largely as I stated...a means to find a long term, compatible partner. I will have been happily married 48 years next month. So, I claim victory there...and am pretty confident any claims that I do not know how to treat women in general also fails based on that. I picked the girl I wanted, wooed her, and married her...then managed to hang on to her for life.

If my life changed in such a way that I was alone...and I chose to date again, I am pretty sure that the same techniques would work with some refinement. I would choose someone I know (from work, school, or similar) that I find attractive and am already familiar enough with to believe we are compatible. If there was someone that I had randomly met and thought they met my criteria, I would find a way to get to know them through other activities. If we shared no interests enough for that...then we are likely not compatible. After we were both comfortable enough with each other to make the next move, then I would ask her out. Obviously, we all get turned down...but women largely do a good job letting you know if they are interested (or not).

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

it would be inaccurate to describe your post, without the context to what you are responding to.

ie if your post is defending a phrase or action, it does not need to contain that phrase or action as a direct quote in order for that to be your words, your point, and your post.

this is logic 101.

example:

Me: 2 + 2 = 4

you: no it doesn't!

me: so you dont think that 2 + 2 = 4?

you: i never said that, find a quote!!!!

me: i did, you said no it doesnt in reponse to my claim.

you: no you didnt! i never said that. why cant you find a quote eh?

Pretty sure my posts are clear and stand alone. You seem to be the only one that either cannot understand them or feel the need to reword them to suit your rather pathetic argument.

And no... your attempted analogy is not even remotely analogous. It is just a further attempt to make claims that I said/posted something I did not. To continue to spin to try to make anything you have posted relevant is a waste of time/bandwidth. The only accurate thing in your entire post is "2+2+4". I did not post anything in your post that you attribute to me and there is certainly no logic (on your part) involved.

Please stop making up words and attributing them to me. My position is clear (and not what you would like it to be).

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Pretty sure my posts are clear and stand alone. You seem to be the only one that either cannot understand them or feel the need to reword them to suit your rather pathetic argument.

And no... your attempted analogy is not even remotely analogous. It is just a further attempt to make claims that I said/posted something I did not. To continue to spin to try to make anything you have posted relevant is a waste of time/bandwidth. The only accurate thing in your entire post is "2+2+4". I did not post anything in your post that you attribute to me and there is certainly no logic (on your part) involved.

Please stop making up words and attributing them to me. My position is clear (and not what you would like it to be).

i quoted your post, and my post that you were responding to. if you want to change what you meant by it now, you are still more than welcome to. no one is stopping you. why don't you clarify it if you feel directly quoting you is not accurate?

any normal person wouldn't spend 2 pages NOT clarifying what they felt was not their point. its weird. if you are not defending hitting on women at work, then you can just say that. why wont you say that? why spend 2 pages dancing around and getting the thread locked without saying it?

[Dixie]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Methinks you misrepresent Dixie's posts (as you have mine). Perhaps you should let her speak for herself.

Thank you, My perspective? You're both right.

Personally, I've seen more people meet and form relationships at work than anywhere else. It makes sense. As Finstone points out, it's where people spend most of their days.

As to CP's post, indeed I have been inappropriately approached at work, and I'll concur that women don't have all the power.

As for masculinity, I think what you both perceive women wanting is correct, but only for your generation. (Yep, I'm assuming CP is GenX, and notice I typed perceive. That's important.) I like to put it in terms of movies. Every action-hero boomer movie stars a man, and women are just sex-interest supporting roles. In subsequent generations, action-hero movies also star women in the title role. Personally, I like when a man acknowledges there's more to my life than simply having a supporting role.

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

i quoted your post, and my post that you were responding to. if you want to change what you meant by it now, you are still more than welcome to. no one is stopping you. why don't you clarify it if you feel directly quoting you is not accurate?

any normal person wouldn't spend 2 pages NOT clarifying what they felt was not their point. its weird. if you are not defending hitting on women at work, then you can just say that. why wont you say that? why spend 2 pages dancing around and getting the thread locked without saying it?

You claimed (and continue to claim) that I said something I did not. There was nothing unclear in my post that would make a reasonable person conclude what you have rewritten it to be. If it actually had any remote connection to what you claim, you would not have to keep rewriting it with entirely different words to come up with the meaning you would like for it to have. As noted, no one else has any problem understanding what I posted or feels the need to reword it.

My post was accurate and needs no clarifying. Your continued misrepresentation of it the issue. Why don't you post your opinion, and I post mine. You really have no reason (or ability) to rewrite my words and claim I mean something other than what I posted...and you attempt at debate (and logic) are simply ineffective and weak.

Once again, quote me if you like...but stop creating fiction and attributing it to me.

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by Dixie

Thank you, My perspective? You're both right.

Personally, I've seen more people meet and form relationships at work than anywhere else. It makes sense. As Finstone points out, it's where people spend most of their days.

As to CP's post, indeed I have been inappropriately approached at work, and I'll concur that women don't have all the power.

As for masculinity, I think what you both perceive women wanting is correct, but only for your generation. (Yep, I'm assuming CP is GenX, and notice I typed perceive. That's important.) I like to put it in terms of movies. Every action-hero boomer movie stars a man, and women are just sex-interest supporting roles. In subsequent generations, action-hero movies also star women in the title role. Personally, I like when a man acknowledges there's more to my life than simply having a supporting role.

I have been inappropriately approached at work as well. It is not just a woman thing. The difference is that my complaining would have been greeted by derision while a woman's complaints would have likely caused me to lose my job.

I am pretty sure that all generations are quite pleased with a female heroine...as long as she is doing something physically possible. I would agree however...that most men of my generation are pretty sick of the guy always being stupid, bumbling, and incapable of empathy as in most television shows/commercials.

[Dixie]

Okay, it's s obvious the thread has devolved to an argument , so I'm out.

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by Dixie

Thank you, My perspective? You're both right.

Personally, I've seen more people meet and form relationships at work than anywhere else. It makes sense. As Finstone points out, it's where people spend most of their days.

As to CP's post, indeed I have been inappropriately approached at work, and I'll concur that women don't have all the power.

As for masculinity, I think what you both perceive women wanting is correct, but only for your generation. (Yep, I'm assuming CP is GenX, and notice I typed perceive. That's important.) I like to put it in terms of movies. Every action-hero boomer movie stars a man, and women are just sex-interest supporting roles. In subsequent generations, action-hero movies also star women in the title role. Personally, I like when a man acknowledges there's more to my life than simply having a supporting role.

im a millennial, I'm 37.

the world was built for the comfort of straight white men, thats what patriarchy is all about. and that is changing (thank god), but the people, both men and women, who bought into that system are not happy about it. yes, there are plenty of women, esp in the older generations, who have spent their whole lives as supporting cast, and they are fine with it. and more power to them, i dont care what they do with their lives. the only real issue is when these people come and try and tell us, that you can only be supporting cast. or there is only one way to live properly. or only one way to be happy etc. finstone being mad at me, i dont care. i do care that finstone wants to prevent others from being happy though.

i see you around here doing a lot of managing men's feelings. and i applaud you every time you dont. you dont have to deal with some random man on the internet's feelings. thats for him to deal with. and if he's unhappy about that, thats just living in the real world where not everyone is going to coddle your emotions everywhere you go. some of these men have been living this coddled existence there entire lives, and ho boy are the unhappy to find out the real world isnt like that anymore.

[Dixie]

Originally Posted by fintstone

I have been inappropriately approached at work as well. It is not just a woman thing. The difference is that my complaining would have been greeted by derision while a woman's complaints would have likely caused me to lose my job.

I am pretty sure that all generations are quite pleased with a female heroine...as long as she is doing something physically possible. I would agree however...that most men of my generation are pretty sick of the guy always being stupid, bumbling, and incapable of empathy as in most television shows/commercials.

I'm surprised you took my post personally, and dismissively, since you invited me to speak. Perhaps your frustration with CP is simply spilling over. Regardless, have a great day.

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by Dixie

I'm surprised you took my post personally, and dismissively, since you invited me to speak. Perhaps your frustration with CP is simply spilling over. Regardless, have a great day.

I welcomed your comment as I too had tried to bring the thread back to the original topic several times myself and been thwarted by CP's continued rant. I was only being polite and responding to your post.

I did not take it personally or treat it dismissively...I simply provided my viewpoint (as a man) to contrast your viewpoint (as a woman) to let you know that men have some of the same issues in the workplace as women...and their concerns are dismissed.

Have a great day as well.

[Baz]

Anyways......

I told her that I came from Detroit City
And I played guitar in a long-haired rock and roll band
She asked me why the singer's name was Alice
I said "Listen baby, you really wouldn't understand"

[Baz]

[Dixie]

IDK where to park this, so it's going here. The net is, I'm rather proud of myself.

I had a second date Friday that went sideways right off. The first date went great, so I happily accepted a second date for a pool side lunch at his Siesta Key condo. I showed up looking stylish in my bikini, big hat, and long cover-up. But before I can even put my purse down he's groping my boobs and VJ. I politely correct him, twice. It's falling on deaf ears so I decide to leave. He decides to stop me. He blocks my path and grabs my shoulders...

At this point I'm scared, really scared. Then again, I grew up with two brothers and know what to do.

I haul off and hit him in the balls as hard as I can with the knife edge of my hand. He drops. Calmly I step over him and leave.

Later, he texts me explaining it's all my fault. His logic is, I'm so pretty he can't help himself. All I can think is WTF dude?!

...freakin' azzhole

[911boost]

What the hell?? I am sorry to hear that Dixie and glad you did what you did.

He sounds like he's got some serious issues trying to lay the blame on you for having zero self control.

Be careful, definitely has the potential for some crazy stalker crap.

[stevej37]

He must be bad at arithmetic....he thought it was the third date.
J/K...good move by you.

[fastfredracing]

No means yes !
I cant imagine the guff an attractive lady has to deal with . I've heard stories