Kid wants a gun: I've got concerns.

[WPOZZZ]

A hard, NO! My ex is at her parent's house in Vancouver, WA and wanted to take her gun, which she hasn't fired in decades. I told her if she hasn't fired it in that long, she doesn't have the muscle memory in a panic situation. Of course her cockiness says, "Wanna bet, I can shoot real good!" lol She's a tiny thing and I told her, what would you do if someone took the gun away from you and used it on your family?

[varmint]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

My daughter lives near her college campus. She has had a couple scary incidents at her apartment. Someone kicked in their door when they were not home to try and rob the place, they caught it on camera. I just want her to move home, we live a few miles away, but she is having none of it. She mentioned wanting a gun.

I like shooting, and on one level, I'm stoked. She never had any interest in hunting, or guns. But I do worry. I did not raise her around guns, I worry she won't have the kind safety disciple that I had hammered into me as a kid. I also worry about her really understanding when its ok to deploy a gun. Yes, it can be learned, but she is a college student very much going out drinking with her friends. Maybe I am underestimating her, she is an organized kid with a great capacity to plan.

My other concern is that she is on an SSRI. Can't recall what she is on, but it has a been a huge benefit to the kid. Way happier than she was before. I can't point to any evidence saying that should preclude a person from having a weapon, except in the first few weeks when a person is adjusting to the medication. Should I be concerned?

Have I already started looking at options? Oh yeah.

“Their door”?

Is the room mate/boyfriend/whatever responsible enough for a gun?

But still having her move home is the best solution for the immediate problem.

[JavaBrewer]

No to a gun. Yes to moving to a different location and get her some gel pepper spray for her to carry when outdoors alone.

[look 171]

I don't understand young adults? Not your kid, Hardrive, but some of my experiences with them. About 20 years ago, I ran into three young out of town kids (White kids) that was looking to rent said to us that they were really interested in living in S central for the cultural experience and of course the rent price. They also claim the excitement was worth the danger. Today's So Central is so much more tame compared to 20 years ago. Crazy. I still dislike going there today.

[KFC911]

Nope .... full stop. A can of "Bear spray" is a better option for her... "she" may or may not be ready for a firearm .... doesn't sound like it.

But all those other folks in & out of her college apt....

Nope!

I owned a rifle and several handspoons while back in college.... they remain uneducated and never attended

[Heel n Toe]

Lots of ads for these on talk radio in recent months... probably worth checking out.

https://grimburg.me/

https://byrna.com/

https://hero.us.com/

https://www.selfdefenseproducts.com/less-lethal-guns/

[Tim Hancock]

If it were me... because she did not grow up with guns, I think I would take the girl shooting multiple times for training for several months first and see how well she does.... Then maybe let her have the gun only if she takes it seriously and proves she understands gun safety.

Both of my daughters had their guns in college when they lived in apartments but not during first year when living in a dorm. Both eventually got their CCW permits (not needed anymore here in Ohio). Both along with their husbands, still own multiple firearms.

That said... they both grew up shooting varmints and for fun on our rural property and each got their own .22 rifles when about 11 and 12. I grew up the same way.

I think this pic is from about 15 years ago when they were in college and they were home practicing for doing weekly fun shoot competitions at the local gun range.

[PorscheGAL]

I am a little shocked and quite frankly, disappointed with you guys. Some of the comments: "I would not let her" "she's not old enough to make life and death decisions".

1. She could join the military at this age and make life and death decisions
2. She could go buy a firearm on her own; she is old enough. Luckily, she is asking for your help.

Now to my advice as a woman and a mom:
I did not grow up with firearms. I married very young to a military officer. He started taking me to the range early in our dating because a firearm was kept in the house. I think taking her to the range and signing her up for safety classes should come first before the discussion purchasing a firearm. She should be comfortable with all aspects of gun ownership including the safe maintenance, target shooting and responsible handling.

As for the SSRI: that may be a concern. I believe she should be included in any discussions as to how that might effect things. You will need an open line of communications.

As the parent of a young adult: your job at this point is not to say nor make decisions for her. Your job is to guide her to become more a responsible, happy adult.

[Dixie]

Why not help her live in a safer area?

A gun in an apartment sounds like a great way to miss the intruder and hit a neighbor on the other side of that flimsy Sheetrock.

[KFC911]

Stephanie .... this may be the first time I've ever disagreed with you .

My "No" is all about a gun in a college apt by a novice ...

Get her an air-horn ....

[Dixie]

Originally Posted by PorscheGAL

I am a little shocked and quite frankly, disappointed with you guys. Some of the comments: "I would not let her" "she's not old enough to make life and death decisions".

1. She could join the military at this age and make life and death decisions
2. She could go buy a firearm on her own; she is old enough. Luckily, she is asking for your help.

Now to my advice as a woman and a mom:
I did not grow up with firearms. I married very young to a military officer. He started taking me to the range early in our dating because a firearm was kept in the house. I think taking her to the range and signing her up for safety classes should come first before the discussion purchasing a firearm. She should be comfortable with all aspects of gun ownership including the safe maintenance, target shooting and responsible handling.

As for the SSRI: that may be a concern. I believe she should be included in any discussions as to how that might effect things. You will need an open line of communications.

As the parent of a young adult: your job at this point is not to say nor make decisions for her. Your job is to guide her to become more a responsible, happy adult.

Thank you. Best answer yet.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by Dixie

Why not help her live in a safer area?

A gun in an apartment sounds like a great way to miss the intruder and hit a neighbor on the other side of that flimsy Sheetrock.

This is the best observation.

Back to the original topic...

Can she shoot the "target" when the need arises? Mrs. Beard has said she isn't sure she can pull the trigger when the time comes. And with that, a gun for self-defense makes no sense for her.

Your daughter needs to soul search and understand the consequences of lethal self-defense. I am an advocate for anyone to learn armed self-defense. But they have to have the fortitude to use the weapon when the time comes.

On the topic of learning a martial art. It could help in certain circumstances. But the whole 100 lb person taking out the 250 lb attacker is a Hollywood meme.

[Arizona_928]

Originally Posted by PorscheGAL

I am a little shocked and quite frankly, disappointed with you guys. Some of the comments: "I would not let her" "she's not old enough to make life and death decisions".

1. She could join the military at this age and make life and death decisions
2. She could go buy a firearm on her own; she is old enough. Luckily, she is asking for your help.

Now to my advice as a woman and a mom:
I did not grow up with firearms. I married very young to a military officer. He started taking me to the range early in our dating because a firearm was kept in the house. I think taking her to the range and signing her up for safety classes should come first before the discussion purchasing a firearm. She should be comfortable with all aspects of gun ownership including the safe maintenance, target shooting and responsible handling.

As for the SSRI: that may be a concern. I believe she should be included in any discussions as to how that might effect things. You will need an open line of communications.

As the parent of a young adult: your job at this point is not to say nor make decisions for her. Your job is to guide her to become more a responsible, happy adult.

Your anger seems to misplaced at the peanut gallery instead of the OP and the family that raised her ignorant and sheltered. Blame US for reinforcing the father's assessment of the child. Problem? She's over 18 and can go out and buy a long gun and doesn't need anyone's permission except the government's nod. The real elephant in the room? Controlling family that's ignorant to societal issues. Getting one's apartment door kicked in while not home would be an immediate termination of lease.. A firearm ain't going to do spit as it's haphazardly thrown into the mix now.

SSRI's on a developing brain is stupid.


I can recommend a better university in the middle nowhere that is VERY safe....

[KFC911]

Having a gun (that wasn't locked in a safe) in any of my college housing situations would have been a situation I had no control over. Eveyone is different .... just my .03 ...

An air-horn would deter ....

I've had my heart beating 200 mph ... under stress with a 9mm in my hand...

I should have grabbed an air-horn .... that I don't have .

But I gots 'em for my parents and sister .... they can't run like I can.

Life in danger ... bang.

Just stuff .... run

[Arizona_928]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

I don't know about the gun thing. I can't remember ever not being around guns, so it's like a native language to me and I don't understand those who don't speak it.

But for the bear spray and taser stuff, I don't understand how anyone thinks they are good for civilian use. First of all, if I need to use serious force on another person, I don't want the police or lawyers to hear anyone's side of the story other than mine. What do you do WHEN, not if, the taser doesn't work, like on winter clothing in a cold weather state? Or when mace doesn't work on some drugged out nut? Outrun them? You still face a good chance of being prosecuted and a greater chance of being sued because the bad guy lived to tell his side of the story. Cops can use those things because they have qualified immunity, body cams and handcuffs to get the perp restrained before they come to. Civilians don't have those. If someone needs force used on them, they need to be stopped permanently. If they don't need to be stopped permanently, they probably don't need force used upon them, at least by civilians.

Most criminals utilize crimes of opportunity... Most rational (non drugged up weirdos) are looking for soft targets or empty domiciles. That said, if something has high enough value, all bets are off. We see that with chuckle heads stealing hellcats with Glock switches and AK's. The same as having XX chromosomes at night... I agree with your assessment of one needs a permanent method to put down a predator, realistically, one might give the illusion of safety with bear spray and a taser...I gave my example as even with a 22lr, the gf still hid. Not The Alamo hiding either. lol

Without a culture of firearms, grit, and perseverance... a young female on mood stabilizers will more than likely commit seppuku... Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[HardDrive]

Thank you all for your excellent input, I was not posting just to make conversation, I really did want others input.

The issue of having her move, or lord have I tried and I will keep trying. The X factor here is her roommate. They have lived together since freshman year, and are inseparable. Unfortunately her roommate is from a bad family situation, poor as a door mouse, cannot afford a nicer place. And to be clear, this is not what I would label a 'bad' area. But it is student housing, lots of drunken mayhem going on. The person kicking in the door happened during a break when everyone was away.

[gsxrken]

Even with some range time and occasionally shooting with me and the kids at our cabin, my wife showed no affinity towards them and is not equipped to handle one under duress. Knowing how a 3/8” spider can derail her CPU, I certainly would not want to be around her if she was in perceived mortal danger with a loaded weapon in her hands. My/her daughter is a different story… she’d drill someone between the eyes and clear the rest of the house.
There’s no one-size fits-all here. As a fellow dad, you have my empathy for the situation.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

Thank you all for your excellent input, I was not posting just to make conversation, I really did want others input.

The issue of having her move, or lord have I tried and I will keep trying. The X factor here is her roommate. They have lived together since freshman year, and are inseparable. Unfortunately her roommate is from a bad family situation, poor as a door mouse, cannot afford a nicer place. And to be clear, this is not what I would label a 'bad' area. But it is student housing, lots of drunken mayhem going on. The person kicking in the door happened during a break when everyone was away.

Right, any time you've got a college town/location full of apts that are full of college kids, you've got potential for crime whether it's because bad guys know that college kids aren't around during school breaks or because college kids are engrossed in their own stuff or just not paying attention or concerned with other stuff.

One of my concerns is if the gun is in the apt, and your daughter is gone but the roommate is there. Even if the roommate is completely trustworthy, if the roommate has guests (regardless of the roommates background/family life) the guests may not be trustworthy. Having the gun get stolen or discovered and played with is a bad thing.

You don't have to worry about just your daughter, you have to worry about anyone that might end up in the apt, which in college times and a college place, could be just about anyone.

[KFC911]

^^^^ The elephant so big it won't even fit in the room....

[Rikao4]

Originally Posted by rfuerst911sc

How about a stun gun ?

take a look at Byrna..

https://byrna.com/collections/byrna-non-lethal-guns

Rika