Early onset dementia

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by rfuerst911sc

My MIL gets some financial assistance from the military because her first and second husband's were in the military . Every little bit helps .

That is good to know, thank you. My dad was in the Navy.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by Cajundaddy

Sorry Shaun, this is a bumpy road ahead. We first noticed my mom doing compulsive sorting back in 2008. She passed away from Alz/dementia in Jan 2023 at age 89. She was really cooperative through the whole process but I know she was frightened as her mind slipped away.

Get finances together and see if she qualifies for benefits. My Dad was a Navy veteran and that added a nice cushion to the expenses to come. There are probably some Alz family counsellors in your area who can point you in the right direction for benefits and also assist you coping with this rather tragic disease.

Once it was clear that my mom could no longer live independently we found a highly regarded senior living facility with private apartment and community meals and activities. This was good for about 5 years and then she just needed more personalized care so we found a residential care home with only 5-6 patients and it was very close so we could visit often. We did the best we could with the hand she was dealt but it is very difficult to see them slip away a little every day.

Best wishes!

Very helpful, thank you!

[Tim Hancock]

My mom is 82 and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She repeats herself constantly. On days with no outside stress she does pretty well but some days she starts in on my dad who has no tolerance for it and it progresses into a ****show. When she has many visitors or she visits her grandkids she goes wonky real fast. Noise and stress definitely sets her off.

For noww, my wife stops in at least twice a week to re-organize her pills which she gets confused about all the time. Dad has mobility issues so the writing is on the wall for outside care or nursing home for them both.

Very difficult to deal with as my siblings live far away and my wife and I still work. Sounds like we all end up dealing with this at some point to some degree. It is not a fun stage of life for all involved.

[jhynesrockmtn]

Originally Posted by Tim Hancock

My mom is 82 and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She repeats herself constantly. On days with no outside stress she does pretty well but some days she starts in on my dad who has no tolerance for it and it progresses into a ****show. When she has many visitors or she visits her grandkids she goes wonky real fast. Noise and stress definitely sets her off.

For noww, my wife stops in at least twice a week to re-organize her pills which she gets confused about all the time. Dad has mobility issues so the writing is on the wall for outside care or nursing home for them both.

Very difficult to deal with as my siblings live far away and my wife and I still work. Sounds like we all end up dealing with this at some point to some degree. It is not a fun stage of life for all involved.

Sorry you are dealing with this. I really had to learn patience with my Mom's repetition and wonky delusions. As the delusions got worse, the caregivers told me "just go with it" and quit correcting her unless it is a real safety issue. Hopefully your Dad can learn how to handle himself with regards to her.

On the meds (I'll add in nutrition). We battled with my Mom for a long time regarding her meds and her lack of nutrition. Her physical health really suffered. Once she was in a care facility with med management and regular meals, she was in great shape for years. Unfortunately it didn't help with the brain deterioration. She was just a relatively healthy person in her 80's with severe dementia in the end.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by Tim Hancock

My mom is 82 and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She repeats herself constantly. On days with no outside stress she does pretty well but some days she starts in on my dad who has no tolerance for it and it progresses into a ****show.

My parents dealt with it poorly too. My dad with dementia and my mom treating him like he was perfectly lucid and being difficult on purpose. She had no wisdom about how to handle him. The police were regular visitors at their house until we got my dad out of there.

As Jerry said, "just go with it" is great advice. My dad would get upset because he thought Mom was siphoning money out of their bank account. She would argue with him for hours about it. When he came to me about it, I said, "Well, let's go down to the bank and take care of this." Once I got him out of the house I farted around, diverted his attention to something else, and before you know it, it was late, and the bank was closed. By the next day he had calmed down and forgot about it for a day or two. Then it started again.

[flatbutt]

So sorry Shaun. This won't help but FWIW my older brother (78) is in a memory care unit now. It saddens me greatly to visit him and I really feel for you man.

[Bill Douglas]

Sorry Shaun.

A friend of mine got it at about the age of 62 and went into a dementia unit/care home. He got a pretty bad bang on the head when he was about 20 and never really came right. Maybe this contributed to his case of it.

[unclebilly]

Shaun,

Dementia is a cruel, cruel biotch.

On the upside, most dementia patients have no idea that they have dementia. It is cruel on family members that have to watch their loved ones lose their faculties and become frustrated sometimes because they don’t understand what is going on.

My father had an accelerated decline due to mismanagement of his diabetes. Diabetes and dementia are a horrible combination because the dementia prevents them from managing their sugar levels, the resulting extreme sugar levels accelerate onset and progression of dementia.

Dad is in a dementia facility now and his sugars are under control and he has stabilized but the cognitive damage is permanent. He has his good days (Christmas Eve) and his not so great days. Today, he declared to me that he cured himself when I visited him. I asked what he cured himself of, and he told me that he had an ‘internal pissing problem’… then he asked if I knew the owner of the hotel he’s staying at. He was in good spirits, just very confused.

I extend my most sincere sympathies to you for having to go through this with your mom. It’s not great but take solace knowing she doesn’t know what is going on and her outbursts are not sincere, this is the dementia.

[Billiam 911 2.8]

Caregiver exhaustion is a real thing. I am thankful that I have support now. My wife is disabled and I didn't have much in the tank. Now, I know i am not alone. As they say on the airplane, put on your oxygen mask first and then help your kids.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

Shaun,

Dementia is a cruel, cruel biotch.

On the upside, most dementia patients have no idea that they have dementia. .

This becomes true at some point in the progression of the disease, and it is the reason you have to “go with it.” Treat them as if you take them seriously even when they do or say something totally outrageous. To them, it’s real. If you argue or try to correct them it just pisses them off and you become the enemy. They need to feel like they have a friend.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

Shaun,

Dementia is a cruel, cruel biotch.

On the upside, most dementia patients have no idea that they have dementia. It is cruel on family members that have to watch their loved ones lose their faculties and become frustrated sometimes because they don’t understand what is going on.

My father had an accelerated decline due to mismanagement of his diabetes. Diabetes and dementia are a horrible combination because the dementia prevents them from managing their sugar levels, the resulting extreme sugar levels accelerate onset and progression of dementia.

Dad is in a dementia facility now and his sugars are under control and he has stabilized but the cognitive damage is permanent. He has his good days (Christmas Eve) and his not so great days. Today, he declared to me that he cured himself when I visited him. I asked what he cured himself of, and he told me that he had an ‘internal pissing problem’… then he asked if I knew the owner of the hotel he’s staying at. He was in good spirits, just very confused.

I extend my most sincere sympathies to you for having to go through this with your mom. It’s not great but take solace knowing she doesn’t know what is going on and her outbursts are not sincere, this is the dementia.

Thank you, that helps a lot. Learning it's not your mom making no sense/crying/yelling/accusing was a hard first lesson to learn but I have finally adapted all of my interaction with her which is a lot all day long so practice makes perfect.

Yesterday was a good day and I'd like to think how I'm communicating with her now is helping.