Best Simpsons Quotes.

[adrian jaye]

milhouse to marge (big boobs)
"my mum said I must'd look at you"

[adrian jaye]

maggie:

" ";

[adrian jaye]

and finally as I'm a man with too much time on my hands


"A mind is a terrible thing to waste"
Malcolm X

peace

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

Chalmers: "You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger."

Skinner: [laughs] "Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe."

Chalmers: "For steamed hams."

Skinner: "Yes." Chalmers: "Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. [shows Skinner the grill marks] "

Skinner: "Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh-- ... 'scuse me for one second."

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

Mr. Sparkle: [in Japanese, subtitled] "I'm disrespectful to dirt. Can you see that I am serious? Out of my way, all of you. This is no place for loafers! Join me or die! Can you do any less?"
Women: "What a brave corporate logo! I accept the challenge of Mr. Sparkle."
Woman #1: "Awesome power!"

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

Leprechaun (to Ralph): "Aw, you've done grand, laddie! Now you know what you have to do: Burn the house down. Burn 'em all!"

Troy McClure: "This is Fuzzy Bunny. About a year ago, he noticed his voice was changing, he had terrible acne and had fur where there was no fur before. "

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Homer (to Lisa): "In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

[Z-man]

Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Homer: And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!

Homer: Weasling out of work is important to learn; it is what separates humans from animals. Except for weasels.

Ralph: "Mmmm mmm paste tastes good."
Ralph: "My parents won't let me use scissors."

[Overpaid Slacker]

(walking by scupture torsos of very fit men in the Chelsea district of Springfield)
"Well, you can tell *they* never had kids."

"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is."

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal.

Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."

"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."

Gratuitous Monty Burns quote:
"Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese."

[Crowbob]

Homer: Quick, what's the number to 911?

[concentric]

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. Urge to kill...fading...fading...fading -- rising! Fading... fading, gone.
Come, family. Sit in the snow with Daddy and let us all bask in
television's warm glowing warming glow."

JCM

[emcon5]

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
Smells like a steak, and seats thirty five?
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Hey, hey!
Twelve yards long, two lanes wide,
Sixty five tons of American pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero! Canyonero!

She blinds everybody with her super high beams
She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin' drivin' machine
Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero!
Whoa, Canyonero! Whoa!

[rammstein]

I thought of one related to us:

Nelson: "We could post it on the internet"
Bart: "No. We need to get people whose opinions actually matter!"


And my personal favorite:

Homer: "But if Marge marries Artie, I'll never be born (cries and runs away)"

[ZAMIRZ]

"Beer, the reason for and solution to all of life's problems" - Homer

[bfrenz]

Ralph: "At my house we call those Oh Oh's"

Homer: "Trying is the first step towards failure"

[Paul T]

Homer (posing as Mr Burns at post office to intercept his mail): My name is Mr. Burns and I'd like to pick up my mail please.

Postman: Certainly, Mr Burns! And what is your first name?

Homer: I don't know.

[Adam]

Homer: "Shut-up and eat your pinecone"


Homer: "We didn't want the boy... he was an accident!"
Marge: "HOMER!!"
Homer: "Uh, can we edit that last part out?"
TV Reporter: "Ho ho, Mr Simpson, we're LIVE coast-to-coast!"
Homer: "D'oh!!"

Homer: "Lord, guide this cinder block..." (raises it above his head)

[Adam]

Mr Burns: (thinking, while warily watching Homer) "He's going to kill me and ride my carcass down the mountain!"

Mr Burns: "Release the hounds!"

Mr Burns: "Now look here, I need you to send this letter urgently to the Prussian embassy in Siam. Am I too late for the 4 o'clock autogyro?"

[GrindingGears]

Burns: So another Friday is upon us, what will yooou be doing Smithers? Something gay no doubt?

Smithers: Wha, what sir?

Burns: You know, gay, light hearted fancy free, mothers lock up your daughters Smithers is on the town! Ha ha ha

Smithers: Heh, egg, exactly sir.

[Icemaster]

Mr. Burns: "Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket.

Smithers: "Mmmmmm....you don't have to tell ME sir...."


Bart & Homer:

"You dont make friends with salad; you don't make friends with salad..." et. al.