Oh the joys of depression

[mudman]

I should probably mention at this point that a turning point for me was a violent outburst last summer. I was having a bad day, a random person did something that I disapproved of and I went into crazy-animal-attack mode. Caught a car speeding down my road and f-ed up the car and driver. Expensive mistake. Cornpanzer's comment about restaraunts really hit home, I have trouble around people. I absolutely can not go to Walmart, I start sweating and have an elevated heart rate, my vocabulary shrinks, and I give every person that looks my way the death stare. Library is a little different, I go during the day while my son is at school so it is empty, and the librarians are really nice to me. It really sucks though when my wife and son go somewhere and she suggest I stay home because she knows how I dislike being out. It is harder when it is more than just me, I don't know why though. The worst part is that I'm a business owner, and I have to sell my stuff to people. People who I don't really want to talk to. I've gotten really good at putting on the game face, only a few times have I had a bad client meeting because of not feeling well. But it is hard trusting my acting skills to cover.

Mark, I feel that you really can't relate to this situation. Much like my wife, you think you know, but you have no idea. Maybe you were just a drunk, a loser drunk at that. And then you realized that you suck, and your life sucked because you suck. So you are sad for a time about your sucking, but then you have a revelation: you don't want to suck. So you stop sucking. Life is good and now you are free to give advice about depression. Some people have really related to the comments in this thread, some have not.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

-Jeremy

[bigchillcar]

I have trouble around people. I absolutely can not go to Walmart, I start sweating and have an elevated heart rate, my vocabulary shrinks, and I give every person that looks my way the death stare.

jeremy..have you ever heard of social anxiety disorder (sad)? these symtoms you mention may be describing it. try reading up on this: http://socialanxiety.factsforhealth.org/
ryan

[bigchillcar]

don..replied to your pm..your box is full!
ryan

Every day is new. Live in the new day or live through the past. Your choice.

Oh, and - feel free to continue attacking me if it helps.

[bigchillcar]

Every day is new. Live in the new day or live through the past. Your choice.

like a cinder in the eye..you just can't help yourself, huh, mark? teasing and marginalizing others' hard times..disgusting, actually.
ryan

[bigchillcar]

Oh, and - feel free to continue attacking me if it helps.

sorry, but 'mark' and 'help' don't equate. but if it encourages more on here to speak up by telling you 'where you can go', i won't hesitate..you may rest assured of that.
ryan

[Mulhollanddose]

"And I will bring the blind by a way that they know not;
I will lead them in the paths that they have not known:
I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things
straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them."

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by bigchillcar
sorry, but 'mark' and 'help' don't equate. but if it encourages more on here to speak up by telling you 'where you can go', i won't hesitate..you may rest assured of that.
ryan

Ryan, let it go bro...resentment is a killer, it is poison.

[lendaddy]

Honest question; All these "disorders", are they measurable? When you guys get diagnosed, does the doc say "We ran your blood test and sure enough you are low in X, Y, or Z hormone, which means you're blah blah"? Or is it all subjective diagnosis?

Calling it a disease gives it validity in a medical community who's interest is financial. It's an entire industry.

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by lendaddy
Or is it all subjective diagnosis?

You can measure metabolic parameters, but you cannot measure depression chemically...One must pick and choose, like pinning the tail on the donkey, to figure out the right cocktail, and then you achieve nothing other than drugging the patient; leaving untreated the underlying spiritual malady.

It takes action (FSTNBLK's technique is successful in practice -- see page 2) to escape depression. Chemicals can successfully make you feel good, but true escape from this mental disorder requires changing your mind (I would imagine this is the aim of pharmaceuticals).

I do believe drugs can get you out of the cycle. Two problems - people get dependent on the drugs and some people are comfortable living within the confines of the condition. My sister has let it define her and has only superficial interest in getting better. I just learned how to say **** it.

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by Mark Wilson
I do believe drugs can get you out of the cycle.

I could see how they could possibly be effective if they allow one the motivation to change their actions. I think without the action the drug is useless (not to mention very hard to get right given you cannot isolate mental disorders in a petri dish and test.)

[bigchillcar]

Ryan, let it go bro...resentment is a killer, it is poison.

and you would certainly know this firsthand..bro. 'resentment' overstates my feelings, but not by much. i don't appreciate the members here who have chosen to interject sarcasm and derision in order to make light or poke humor at what, for many of us, have been life-altering, devastating personal experiences. they've certainly earned my scorn for being compassionless human beings.
ryan

[bigchillcar]

Calling it a disease gives it validity in a medical community who's interest is financial. It's an entire industry.

i can add 'conspiracy theorist' to the new list of adjectives, which i'll kepp to myself..certainly wouldn't wish to be accused of 'attacking you', poor thing. don't mind dishing out your thoughtless rhetoric, but have a soft belly for getting a kick back in the face, huh, mark? guess you plan to stick around this thread as long as you can 'make a dfference' in making those struggling with depression et al feel just a little bit worse. bottom feeder..
ryan

[bigchillcar]

Honest question; All these "disorders", are they measurable? When you guys get diagnosed, does the doc say "We ran your blood test and sure enough you are low in X, Y, or Z hormone, which means you're blah blah"? Or is it all subjective diagnosis?

no, there is no easy 'blood test' diagnosis. although there are some pet and cat scans which, for schizophrenics, can show regions of the brain, which look very different from 'normals' upon scanning. the diagnoses of mental health disorders often must come from the subjective description from the patient and from completing checklists for symptoms commonly associated with particular disease states. my disorder, ptsd, has been heavily studied from myriad case studies of returning war veterans, etc. bioplar disorder exists along a continuum from bipolar I, to bipolar II, to cyclothymia (the mildest form). depression is often classified as either acute (response to a particular stressor, often not long-lasting) or chronic, where the patient experiences symptoms for months into years. the process of treatment at the hands of a psychiatrist is far from an exact science. the brain is a complex organ, but it's theorized in so many words that many of these disorders result from imbalances in the presence of the various neurotransmitter substances, such as dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine. the variety of drugs on the market all impact either one or a combination of these substances and/or their receptors, thus a doctor is always starting off relatively blind with respect to which medication to start with. it's the responsibility of the patient to report his feedback on the efficacy or lack thereof of the particular medication. often a patient will go through many frustrating trials before finding one that provides benefit. then there are the side-effects to contend with. to go into that would require more lengthy discussion. most experts agree that 'combination therapy' meets with the best results - that being medication combined with the work of a trained psychologist in the field of cognitive therapy, which involves helping a patient learn the causes of his particular disease and come up with coping strategies, which augment the medical process. speaking for myself, i wasted a lot of time before seeking help, even after i was forced out of aviation, but once i did, i began to improve. admittedly, i went through many, many rounds of meds before i found the right ones. at a point, however, i became frustrated with the drowsiness of the anti-depressant i was taking at the time (cymbalta) and tried to 'help myself', by combining it with a stimulating anti-depressant (wellbutrin) and met with disastrous results. i felt rather 'crazy' on this combo and just quit taking everything cold turkey. that's when i went into my deepest pit and had the suicide attempt, which landed me in a hospital, coming to a day and a half later. since then, with a new doctor, i've made good progress. i still have depression quite a bit..there's been much loss in my life..but thankfully, most of the anxiety associated with the ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder for those of you unknowing) has been brought under control.
ryan

We all suffer loss.

[nostatic]

as someone who is trained in the hard sciences but has now drifted into what is essentially social science research, I can say that much of this is difficult, if not impossible to quantify. The mind does not fit well with parameterization.

As Hamlet said, "And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Or if you prefer, as Winston Zeddmore said, "Since I joined these men, I've seen **** that'll turn you white."

Never underestimate the power of the mind, and don't try and siimplify the operation or break it down into black/white terms. It just isn't that way...

[bivenator]

Originally posted by lendaddy
Honest question; All these "disorders", are they measurable? When you guys get diagnosed, does the doc say "We ran your blood test and sure enough you are low in X, Y, or Z hormone, which means you're blah blah"? Or is it all subjective diagnosis?

Earlier I had posted about work that I perform for a psychiatrist. Brain scans are able to differentiate some of these disorders. These scans along with clinical observation and personality testing can provide a great deal of information for the the appropriate treatment plan.
Scott