The typical airline career......

[singpilot]

22 years old. Graduated from college. Go to military flight school.
Become hot shot fighter pilot. Get married.

25 years old. Have 1st kid. Now hotshot fighter jock getting shot at in
war. Just want to get back to USA in one piece. Get back to USA as
primary flight instructor pilot. Get bored. Volunteer for war again.

29 years old. Get back from war all tuckered out. Want out of military.

30 years old. Join airline. World is your oyster.

31 years old. Buy flashy car, house and lots of toys. Get over the
military poverty feeling.

32 years old. Divorce boring 1st wife. Pay child support and
maintenance
while looking for 2nd wife. Drink lots of booze and screw around while
looking for 2nd wife.

33 years old. Repeat above for a few more years.

35 years old. Marry young spunky 25 year old virgin flight attendant.

37 years old. Buy another house. Gave first one to first wife.

38 years old. Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.

39 years old. Now a captain. Hooray! Upgrade house and buy boat and
even flashier cars.

42 years old. 2nd wife runs off with wealthy merchant banker but still
wants to share house (100%).

43 years old. Settle with wife # 2 and resolve to stay away from women
forever. Seek a position as a Check Captain to have something to do.
Move into 2 bedroom apartment.

50 years old. Meet sexy model on International trip. She loves you and
says you are very "beeeeg!"

51 years old. Marry sexy model. Buy big house, boat and upgrade cars.

52 years old. Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get
vasectomy.

54 years old. Try to talk wife out of kids, but presto, she's pregnant.
She says she got sick after taking the pill. Accident, sorry, won't
happen again.

55 years old. Father of triplets.

56 years old. Wife #3 wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy
cars. You give in.

57 years old. Make rash investments to try and have enough money for
retirement.

59 years old. Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS.
You have to fly 100% International night trips just to keep up with child
support and alimony to wife #1 and #2.

60 years old. Wife #3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no
fun. She leaves. She takes most of your assets. You're forced to retire due
to age 60 rule. No money left.

61 years old. Now Captain on a non-schedule South American 727 freight
outfit and living in a 1 bedroom non-air conditioned apartment directly
underneath the final approach to runway 9 at Miami Int'l.

65 years old. Lose FAA medical and get job as sim instructor. Don't
look forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim in every god-forsaken
town you train in due to the fact your carrier can find cheap, off-hours
sim time at Brand X Airlines.

70 years old. Hotel alarm clock set by previous FedEx crewmember goes
off at 1AM. Have heart attack and die. Happy at last!

[notfarnow]

Ouch!
Someone you know?

[Howard Agency]

Hysterical! Look for it all over the net. I'm sending it to my son, a pilot who seems to be following in your imaginary friend's footsteps. What's with you flyboys?

[KNS]

Very funny! Barry Schiff's recent comments have made me feel much better about not going the airline route. I've got a freind who just got hired by a regional and he's been doubting his career choice lately.

[Jims5543]

Cut, paste, print.

Give to son who wants to be pilot.

[cowtown]

Well, the end was a letdown, but it will make a great movie!

[Jims5543]

A friend of mines career.

20 years old. Got to flight School and get married to really hot high school sweetheart.

23 years old. Get 1st gig flying puddle jumpers with American Airlines based in Miami, flying the Carribean.

24 years old. Discover wife is banging half of Miami while you are away, get divorced, flip out, quit job, move in with mom and dad, take a job as an office clerk.

I have no idea where this guy is now he fell off the radar many years ago.

[nostatic]

that's just like my life except for the flying and lot's of money parts.

[singpilot]

The story came to me from a long time airline friend. It's probably not all from the same person's tale of woe, but each paragragh individually describes at least one actual person I know.

[Dixie]

It could be worse

[}{arlequin]

very funny. sorta glad i'm holdin' out

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Every once in a while I'm glad I got out of aviation. I think.

[artplumber]

I always wanted to be a helicopter tour guide in Hawaii. Does any part of that get to happen to the protagonist?

[450knotOffice]

Sing, that had me laughing my arse off!

Personally, I happen to love my job, but that's just me I guess.

[charleskieffner]

man that was great! LMFAO. i think the entire cycle was caused by a woman. remember marriage is the #1 cause for DEE-VORCE!

[targa911S]

After two wives you should just lease them. That way you only pay the depreciation.

[techweenie]

Originally posted by john_cramer
So long, you Ancient Pelican!

Damn! Where's that from? The High and the Mighty?

[pwd72s]

Parts of it fit my recently retired (aged out) major airline buddy...I'm not going to say which parts, but I'm sending him a link so he can laugh a bit.

[Pete Pranger]

I remember jumpseating with this T-Dub crew years ago when the captain asked how old I was. I told him 30 and he asked if i was married. I told him divorced. He said, just look at it this way, your third wife hasn't even been born yet.......

Why is divorce so expensive.............Because it's worth it.

Pete

[rattlsnak]

I just showed this to my wife. She promised me that she wont take the boat when she divorces me in the future.

But in reality, Jim Cesiro statements are about dead on these days!