Managing Bedtime rituals

[Oh Haha]

Man, I remember those days. Both of our kids went through this phase With my son, first child, we ended up doing the letting him scream and cry trick. It's hard to do but it worked for us. We were consistent with bedtimes and used the reward system a few times. With my daughter, now 2, she still has nights where she will get up several times and we put her back into bed and sit outside he door. Now, she peeks out to see if one of us is there. If we are, she runs and gets back into bed. A couple of times and she stays.

My point is that both kids required different techniques to get the training down. Now, it is an exception that we have to fight at bedtime rather than the rule. Trust me, we are NOT the Cleavers and these worked for us. Hang in there, it'll happen.

[Nathans_Dad]

Tazer.

No seriously, my daughter goes to bed and usually sings to herself or talks to herself for a good hour before finally going to sleep. My son, on the other hand, usually goes right to sleep.

I don't get too worked up about it as long as she stays in her bed. Something that worked well for us is a positive reward. Say if she stays in bed for a whole week she gets a small toy. Then make it 2 weeks for the next toy, then a month. After that you're done.

[Rot 911]

Rick, my daughter does the same thing. And like you, as long as she stays in bed it is fine with me.

[Nathans_Dad]

Originally Posted by Vipergrün

I am sure I'll get flamed for this, but I think the rewards system is not good. Not only will the rewards start getting more and more substantial, but the kid will start bargaining every action for a reward. Before you know if you'll be owned by a 5 year old....

But, as they say, whatever works.

This actually isn't true. The kid can fully understand that not every action gets the reward. For example, my son was deathly afraid to go to the dentist. We offered him a special toy as a reward if he went to the dentist and didn't cry. It worked. He went last week and asked for a reward and we simply explained that he doesn't get a reward anymore since he can do it now and is a big boy. He accepted that just fine.

[Burnin' oil]

I have five kids and bedtime was always a struggle so I fixed the problem by eliminating bedtime. Next!

[911boost]

We had a similar problem with our daughter, so I reversed the door knob, so the lock was to the outside. She would cry and fall asleep right next to the door. When we went to bed, we would move her into her big girl bed. We only had to do it for about a week. It was a bit tough listening to her cry, but we stuck to our guns.

Now with our son (and boys are veeeeery different I think), he started in a toddler bed, at a younger age tham my daughter. To make the transition better, we bought one of those toddler race car beds, from Little Tikes, the blue one that sit really close to the floor. I ordered a new hood badge from Pelican, and epoxied it to the front of the bed, and we made a big deal of him going to bed in a car just like daddies. He loved it, and we didn't really have any problems at all with him.

We have the same ritual every night, like you. A couple of books (usually three), then we brush teeth, and he goes into his room, turns on his music (the Jerry Garcia band) and then his humidifier. He is allowed one book in bed, and he sits quietly in there and falls asleep every night.

The problem I have with him is he has an internal alarm clock that goes off every morning around 615 am, no matter what. Some times he plays quietly, but most of the time he comes in and wakes us up (on the weekends, we are up during the week).

I think whatever you decide to do, you need to stick with it.

Bill

[mikester]

Well, last night went well thanks to some of the calming advice here.

A child's behavior is almost always the result of some 'need' and I think that his behavior at night appears to be a result of his 'need' to spend time with us. He's just not done. It was also suggested that he wasn't 'tired' yet so maybe the bed time was too early. I just don't think that is the case as there are definitely times where he falls asleep quickly and our bed time is generally the same time every night unless he doesn't take a nap when we move it up 30 minutes.

Problem is we need to decide where we draw the line. Last night he wanted me to lay down with him for a bit and he was behaving well enough to where I felt I could do it and not end up kicked in the balls. He wasn't bouncing around on the bed or anything like that (which is where the trouble usually beings) much and I only had to walk out on him once. I walked out when he was misbehaving and told him he had 5 minutes to get his act together if he wanted me to lay down with him.

I went back in after 5 minutes and he said he was ready, we laid down and it was the way it should be (in my mind).

He still didn't go to sleep very quickly but the behavior I think is a good step in the right direction. He got his sticker for last night, he actually got all his stickers yesterday. 2 days in a row and we go out for Ice Cream.

We will see how tonight goes...

[mikester]

Originally Posted by BSiple

We had a similar problem with our daughter, so I reversed the door knob, so the lock was to the outside. She would cry and fall asleep right next to the door. When we went to bed, we would move her into her big girl bed. We only had to do it for about a week. It was a bit tough listening to her cry, but we stuck to our guns.

Now with our son (and boys are veeeeery different I think), he started in a toddler bed, at a younger age tham my daughter. To make the transition better, we bought one of those toddler race car beds, from Little Tikes, the blue one that sit really close to the floor. I ordered a new hood badge from Pelican, and epoxied it to the front of the bed, and we made a big deal of him going to bed in a car just like daddies. He loved it, and we didn't really have any problems at all with him.

We have the same ritual every night, like you. A couple of books (usually three), then we brush teeth, and he goes into his room, turns on his music (the Jerry Garcia band) and then his humidifier. He is allowed one book in bed, and he sits quietly in there and falls asleep every night.

The problem I have with him is he has an internal alarm clock that goes off every morning around 615 am, no matter what. Some times he plays quietly, but most of the time he comes in and wakes us up (on the weekends, we are up during the week).

I think whatever you decide to do, you need to stick with it.

Bill

ours wakes up right around 7am every morning. We haven't been very good about getting up on time...

Luckily I have a 2 mile commute and my wife is self employed.