Throwing kids out, how's it work? - Page 6

masraum · 02-11-2009, 10:34 AM

Jim, thanks. I'll show your post to my wife. It will probably help some.

masraum · 02-11-2009, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SLO-BOB

I've been here twice.

SB, thanks for the post. I forgot to say earlier, I'm sorry that you've been through what I'm going through. I pray that you have many long, happy, trouble free years with your daughter.

SLO-BOB · 02-11-2009, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by masraum

SB, thanks for the post. I forgot to say earlier, I'm sorry that you've been through what I'm going through. I pray that you have many long, happy, trouble free years with your daughter.

Thanks. For clarification, the one I lost was my fiance. She did not kill herself intentionally. Died of organ failure alone on her bathroom floor. Too much booze among other stuff like cold medicine, etc. She used to take jobs at the dentist office as a receptionist to get at the Nitrous. Pretty sad, Debutante, very well connected from a very well off family. Died with 7 figures in the bank acct so it crosses many borders. The 2nd one is my sister. Hope springs eternal.

My son and daughter are golden! She's visiting as I type. I'm taking here and her boyfriend to dinner right now. I'll cherish these good times.

masraum · 02-11-2009, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SLO-BOB

Thanks. For clarification, the one I lost was my fiance. She did not kill herself intentionally. Died of organ failure alone on her bathroom floor. Too much booze among other stuff like cold medicine, etc. She used to take jobs at the dentist office as a receptionist to get at the Nitrous. Pretty sad, Debutante, very well connected from a very well off family. Died with 7 figures in the bank acct so it crosses many borders. The 2nd one is my sister. Hope springs eternal.

My son and daughter are golden! She's visiting as I type. I'm taking here and her boyfriend to dinner right now. I'll cherish these good times.

Wow, that's tough. I've heard that the stress/pain of losing a partner is worse than losing a child. I suspect at that level it doesn't much matter. I'm glad that your kids are good.

masraum · 02-16-2009, 06:15 AM

Update: Well, he's back home. Yes, against what everyone said, I brought him back home. I think/hope, that being on the streets with the bums, crackheads, and crazies of downtown Houston was scary enough to be the bottom for him. I've put several conditions on him being at home and there are some other rules. He still had a job and had just started a semester of school. I hated to see that thrown away. He's got info about a substance abuse group that meets in a church about a mile from the house. He's been very positive since he got home. I've been monitoring him closely, and he understands that if I find anything that points to him being back on alcohol or cold medicine or anything that I'm driving him back downtown to live with the crackheads.

Fortunately, his old job was very happy to have him back and he's been able to pick up full shifts everyday. He only missed 2 classes at school and is still doing great there.

I think I'm going to have him volunteer at a homeless shelter once a month to remind him of where he could end up.

m21sniper · 02-16-2009, 06:18 AM

Haha, you old softie. Good luck.

red-beard · red-beard's Garage

I hope it works out.

masraum · 02-16-2009, 07:34 AM

Thanks. I'm fully prepared to toss him out on his azz. This is his "last chance" and he knows it. I printed up conditions and rules and went over them with him. The conditions are actually taped to the room to his door so he sees them daily.

His time spent on the streets with the bums seems to have scared the crap out of him. I guess he sat in the rain waiting to try to get into a few shelters with the bums hugging his laptop for dear life. He spoke to another friend that probably helped some. Apparently the friend told him that the bums would stab him in the chest and steal his laptop and not think twice. When I finally picked him up he was hanging out in a church.

911Rob · 911Rob's Garage

A wise man has many councilors; glad we could help out and provide you with some options. I wish all the very best to you and your family.

I'd imagine you and your wife feel better, and Steve too.... so your decision is likely a very good one at this point. Relieve some of that pressure that was building up! Although when you see Steve next, feel free to kick him in the Azz and say, "That's from Rob"

Cheers!

masraum · 02-16-2009, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 911Rob

A wise man has many councilors; glad we could help out and provide you with some options. I wish all the very best to you and your family.

I'd imagine you and your wife feel better, and Steve too.... so your decision is likely a very good one at this point. Relieve some of that pressure that was building up! Although when you see Steve next, feel free to kick him in the Azz and say, "That's from Rob"

Cheers!

Actually, I'm Steve, Justin is the youngster. But I probably need the kick in the ass for letting him back in the house anyway.

Yeah, she's actually much better since he's home. I think not knowing where he was and how he was doing was a huge part of the stress. She's still not great having him home, and is staying somewhat emotionally detached from him.

He's got a previously setup appt with the crappy shrink for tomorrow. The meds seem to help him a fair amount, but this'll be the last appt with that guy. We're going to check out the other shrink recommended here.

Thanks for all of the help. I've used a lot of what you said in my handling since he's been back and my plans for a direction to go.

Thanks everyone.

911Rob · 911Rob's Garage

Sorry Steve, got that backwards.

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

Definitely find a decent shrink. As for letting him back home, if he lives by the rules then it could work out. I moved back at 22 after hitting bottom and it worked. But I had really hit bottom, and everyone's bottom is different (hmm, that didn't quite come out right).

Best of luck with it.

T77911S · 02-17-2009, 04:00 PM

what is the program at the church?

try to find one that has CELEBRATE RECOVERY. i was part of that program for several years and have seen it work. you both can go with him. although you would most likely go in to a different group. it would be a benefit your wife and you are actively participating in his recovery.

here is a link for you

http://www.celebraterecovery.com/?page_id=97