Marriage

[onewhippedpuppy]

The bitter is strong in this thread......

Married with kids, I wouldn't want it any other way. Never been happier. No matter how bad everything else sucks, my wife and kids are always a source of happiness.

It always amuses me that to divorced folks, marriage was the problem. Marriage wasn't the problem, YOUR marriage was the problem.

[widebody911]

Can anyone enumerate for me the reasons/benefits of marriage?

[nostatic]

I enjoyed much of my marriage. I'm actually not bitter at all. I joke about it, but I still love my ex and we get along great. I also am enjoying much of my single life. What I've found is that I really don't need another person to be "made whole." That comes from within...the partner is just the share the good and bad. And that doesn't require marriage, but ymmv.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by widebody911

Can anyone enumerate for me the reasons/benefits of marriage?

Tax benefits?

How about spending the rest of your life with your best friend? That pretty much does it for me, I'd be lost without her.

As for kids, I suppose you can have them just as easily if you're not married. Though historically it seems that married couples tend to be more stable than ones that live together, and that stability is a huge benefit for kids.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Am I the only one howling in laughter because a report on marriage is done by the CDC?

I'm not laughing because they also do gun stats, and those are pretty skewed.

[911Rob]

Originally Posted by widebody911

Can anyone enumerate for me the reasons/benefits of marriage?

How about "Commitment"

When I meet a couple that isn't married, I look at the guy as someone who doesn't want commitment. I've never met a gal that was shacked up, playing wifey that didn't want to be married.......... to a winner.

100% the easiest way to find out what a man is really about is to look at how he treats the most important relationships in his life; the one with his wife and kids.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

The bitter is strong in this thread......

Thread rated one star.......I rest my case.

[K. Roman]

If 1/2 black hitler is married then marriage ain't worth the paper it's written on.

[TheMentat]

Originally Posted by K. Roman

If 1/2 black hitler is married then marriage ain't worth the paper it's written on.

I think you've accidentally ventured out of PARF... Please go back...

[Porsche-O-Phile]

The norm. Most of my friends are married, a few more are in serious committed relationships and a couple are the "perpetual bachelor" type. Whatever floats your boat. It ain't for everyone, but I wouldn't change a thing about it for me. I've been extraordinarily lucky in love, not very lucky in anything else though!

[m21sniper]

No way i'm ever getting married.

One of the dumbest ideas mankind has ever come up with IMO.

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by K. Roman

If 1/2 black hitler is married then marriage ain't worth the paper it's written on.

Could you translate what you're trying to say?

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by 911Rob

How about "Commitment"

When I meet a couple that isn't married, I look at the guy as someone who doesn't want commitment. I've never met a gal that was shacked up, playing wifey that didn't want to be married.......... to a winner.

100% the easiest way to find out what a man is really about is to look at how he treats the most important relationships in his life; the one with his wife and kids.

No offense Rob, but this is a pretty narrow view of the world. I accept that it is the way you see things, but some people can have commitments without a marriage and kids.

Many people get married because they feel "incomplete" or are looking for a "soul mate" or companionship. There is nothing inherently wrong with that...maybe. I know plenty of people who are married because they are afraid/unable to be alone. I was one of those. They manage to convince themselves that it is the "right" thing to do, and perhaps the only thing to do.

I know many "shacked up" people who are in fact winners. And there isn't any whining going on about a ring, etc. Not everyone has bought into that social convention. And I know plenty of people who are single and perfectly happy - and in fact are totally committed to other things in their lives. In fact there might be a few clergy out there who aren't married and know something about commitment...

[m21sniper]

Everyone i have ever known well that was married was not very happy.

Tells me all i need to know.

[K. Roman]

I've been influenced by some of the right-wingers on this board. My bad.

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

Could you translate what you're trying to say?

[onewhippedpuppy]

Personally, my opinion is that marriage would be held in much higher regard if people did exactly that. Rather cryptic statement, but I think people view marriage as somewhat trivial because so few really take it seriously.

Most of the divorces related to people I know were not a suprise. MANY people enter into marriage under false pretenses, with glaring issues not discussed, and with serious doubts. She wants kids, he doesn't, but they'll "work it out"? Yeah, notch up another divorce in 2 years or less. Marriage can be hard but also incredibly rewarding. If you start out with two strikes, you probably won't make it to first.

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Personally, my opinion is that marriage would be held in much higher regard if people did exactly that. Rather cryptic statement, but I think people view marriage as somewhat trivial because so few really take it seriously.

Most of the divorces related to people I know were not a suprise. MANY people enter into marriage under false pretenses, with glaring issues not discussed, and with serious doubts. She wants kids, he doesn't, but they'll "work it out"? Yeah, notch up another divorce in 2 years or less. Marriage can be hard but also incredibly rewarding. If you start out with two strikes, you probably won't make it to first.

+1 Incredibly rewarding is right.

KRom, who are you referring to as "1/2 black hitler," and why does the fact he is married cause skepticism on your part?

[jyl]

Originally Posted by K. Roman

If 1/2 black hitler is married then marriage ain't worth the paper it's written on.

No-one, whether Obama or anyone else, should be called "Hitler" other than Adolf himself. If you want to use pejoratives like that, this thread should go to PARF, and you with it.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

We are a society of convenience and our attitude towards marriage reflects it.

Instead of planning ahead, we just do things because we want it now.

Instead of valuing commitment and perseverance, we value superficial appearances and show

Instead of thinking things through, we rationalize after-the-fact.

Instead of valuing family, valuing our words and valuing our oaths, we SAY we value those things. And the most disgusting part is, that's "good enough" for everyone else. We don't hold people to their word. We allow them to use "it's inconvenient" as an excuse to break it. Word as bond has been diluted. Oath has been diluted. Honor has been transformed into a conditional entity. This is a HUGE problem and unquestionably one at the heart of many of our societal problems right now.

Anyone who's been here a while knows how passionate I get about the state of our society and the problems facing it. At the core of many of these problems is a very simple observation I've made:

Instead of valuing what's RIGHT, we value what's EASY

If we fix that and start holding ourselves and each other to a higher standard (our words and our commitments), we will start improving our collective situation. Not before. We cannot have a society of convenience and simultaneously reap the benefits of those things only brought about by discipline and (sometimes) unpleasant sacrifice.

[911Rob]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

Everyone i have ever known well that was married was not very happy.

Tells me all i need to know.

Snipe, you need to find a better caliber of friends buddy!

So what you're saying is that boy meets girl, falls in love, decides to spend the rest of his life with the love of his life, the mother of his children, his best friend and then sometime after that moment of commitment things start going sideways?

Sorry, I've NEVER seen it where the MAN makes the commitment and honors it. So if the MAN makes the commitment and doesn't honor it, what does that say about the man? Now there is the few percentage where the problems lay with the women and it takes two to tangle and all that..... but it ain't no 50%!!!

There is nothing like treating the love of your life like your Queen! Nothing can replace it and with that under your belt you can accomplish anything in life, because everything else is just gravy.

BEST thing you could ever do for your children is to love their mother.
Life is good.

Marriage is not a convenience, it's a commitment; right up there with paying your bills, honoring your word and respecting your mother!