Marriage

[Oh Haha]

We don't have many friends but the ones we do have are married. We knew these people before they were married so that doesn't really help the argument that you gravitate to like people but I think there is some validity to it.

My first wife was a good person but we just did not belong together. WE both knew it but didn't want to become a statistic. We finally realised that it was useless to continue.


My wife now is my best friend. I call her during the day just to talk and hear her voice. We have built our life together, based on what we wanted NOT what others may have thought was best for us. Sure, we argue and bicker but things always work out.

[911Rob]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Interesting. I'll have to forward this to a couple of women I know and see if they agree with you

Do you know women who tell you how *you* are wired and what is the best/worst thing for *you*? And how does that make you feel?

Hey bud, you go ahead and do that, but the fact is the women *you* forward it to will probably lie about how they feel, if they even know how they feel?

We don't have a kid problem today. We don't have a women problem today. We have a MAN problem sir. Women got a slim chance of getting a good guy under the roof today imo; very slim.

Society has taught us that it's OK to send our wives to work, have our kids raised in day cares and the hubby not to be the provider. I say time to man up man.

I'm sure *you* walk your talk and *I* do the same; so ain't it great, life is good.

[911Rob]

Originally Posted by dd74

It was suggested to many of the girls who lived in my neighborhood that they were inadequate if they didn't have boyfriends and later got married. It was their mothers who told them this.

The dads didn't care what the sons did as long as no one got pregnant, an STD or turned out gay.

Now I love this post!
Before I was married, I could really give a rip; probably never even thought about it. Then I got married and it was my way or highway baby; ha, ha, Ya right? But the ONE single thing that changed me forever was when I became a father.

I wanted the best for my kids; all 5 of them. I also taught my kids by example and never said to them "do as I say and not as I do". They have seen how a real man treats a women all their lives!

As a result, my 4 daughters don't mess around with guys that much; they know how a man is suppose to treat a women, and if they don't they pass on them. My olderst daughter didn't date much and she married a guy that adored her. They live a simple life but cherish their time together and they are very happy. What more could a dad want?

My 18yo, 17yo and 15yo haven't dated. They understand the benefit of finding a man that respects them; when that comes along it's gonna be some guys lucky day. As for my son, he respects people very well, especially women.

My oldest daughter shacked up with her guy for a year before getting married, I guess she knew that I'd done the same? That was a tough year for dad, but now years later it's all good.

Think about if you had daughters, how would you want them to be treated? Marry winners girls; and here's what the difference between a winner and a loser are....................... been teaching them that all their lives!

[Por_sha911]

Don't believe everything (anything?) you hear in the drive-by media. They have an agenda and will report or spike stories to suit their agenda.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by 911Rob

Hey bud, you go ahead and do that, but the fact is the women *you* forward it to will probably lie about how they feel, if they even know how they feel?

Hmm, some might say you have a low opinion of women. And a few of them would frankly kick your arse for suggesting that.

Not every woman wants their man to "save them" from the mean old world. Like I said before, you have a pretty narrow view on what is "right" and "wrong" wrt this subject. But it seems that you think you know better than they do. Best of luck with that. There are women who agree with you, but these days there are plenty who do not.

Quote from my g/f wrt wanting to be treated like a queen by her man: "that's bull****"

Then again she is a successful artist who has passion about her career and her life. She enjoys my company, but does not need me to complete her or to support her financially. She does appreciate emotional support and caring but that is a human thing rather than gender imho. Your viewpoint is very traditional and society has moved to a different place. There are those that long for the "good old days" and traditional gender models. In fact Islam is quite steeped in those type of dynamics. But a significant number of women don't want to be the "queen."

[imcarthur]

My wants to be treated like a queen AND be admired for her business acumen. I do my best.

Ian

[911Rob]

Ha, Ha, Ha! *Me* traditional? You think?

CA is leading the world mun, 10 Years ago I'd of fweeked wight out in a discussion about gays and lezbos; today, I can accept the fact to each their own......... that said, I've always enjoyed your posts Todd, been 10 years now buddy; so chivalry is dead 'eh?, gimmee a chance to absorb that will ya.

Being a "stay at home mom" is one of the toughest things to do in life, trust me.

Every summer when my wife and I have all our kids together at our cabin, it's a dream come true. I dream one day that it will be all my kids, their original spouses and our grandkids all in that one special place. That dream has been a lifes work my friend; a lifes work!

Me? I could give a rats arse, but my dreams are what provide me with a drive and determination. 20 years of wife first, kids second, yadda, yadda. At this point in my life, it's pretty much all about *letting* go.

Like I said, we walk our talk; don't we.
*Your* GF and Son are lucky to have you my friend!
Cheers,

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Hmm, some might say you have a low opinion of women. And a few of them would frankly kick your arse for suggesting that.

And they'd be wrong... or spinning the facts to suit an agenda. It's obvious Rob doesn't have a low opinion of women. In fact, it's just the opposite.

Originally Posted by nostatic

Not every woman wants their man to "save them" from the mean old world. Like I said before, you have a pretty narrow view on what is "right" and "wrong" wrt this subject. But it seems that you think you know better than they do. Best of luck with that. There are women who agree with you, but these days there are plenty who do not.

There's quite a lot of condescension in your post here, Todd. It's pretty clear Rob has a good marriage and is a successful father. Things are working harmoniously in his home and there seems to be a lot of love and he's teaching his daughters how not to get used by losers... just why is it that you have a problem with his success at this?

Originally Posted by nostatic

Then again she is a successful artist who has passion about her career and her life. She enjoys my company, but does not need me to complete her or to support her financially.

More condescension... this time towards Rob's wife. I guess it makes you feel big and politically correct and all, but it's pretty pathetic when looked at objectively.

Originally Posted by nostatic

Your viewpoint is very traditional and society has moved to a different place. There are those that long for the "good old days" and traditional gender models. In fact Islam is quite steeped in those type of dynamics. But a significant number of women don't want to be the "queen."

You say this as if Rob's family is out of step or something. Nothing wrong with traditional if it's done well. IMO, it's obvious Rob is successful at it. I'm sure he knows traditional gender models have morphed and he probably sees that in his wife and daughters from time to time and is not afraid of it. Your condescension towards him is as if he's freakish or something.

The only thing freakish here is the fact that you're mentioning Islam in this discussion.

More condescension with some marginalization thrown in.

You've been drinking the ******* California Kool-Aid too long, dude. Try some spring water once in awhile.

[nostatic]

BS. I'm happy that Rob is happy and that his family is happy. As I clearly said, different strokes. But he essentially said that women want to be taken care of. I have found that to not universally be the case. Some do. Others don't.

But forget what I say - you should ask a woman. And I did. And the answer was given above. And the description of her being happy isn't meant to demean Rob's wife or anyone else's. It is to point out that different women have different needs and desires. To generalize and say that they all want "x" and here's how to get it is just wrong. I know stay-at-home moms and have tons of respect for them. I know how hard it is. But I also know men who don't respect women with careers and think less of them because they don't "care about family."

I don't think he is freakish. But I don't agree with his viewpoint. You viewing it as condescension might say more about your perception than my intent. There are men in the world that do not like strong women who dare to move beyond where they are "allowed". I know plenty of each (cranky men and strong women) - and they don't get along. I personally don't think that Rob is that way, but his attitudes could be construed as such. And I've heard enough of the "uppity woman" and "that beotch" comments from some other guys to realize that they just can't deal with it.

Not to say there aren't pita ball busters out there...on both sides.

[911Rob]

Cool, I APPRECIATE the conversation, really I do and I especially appreciate having it with Todd; he's like Mr. Calm Cool & Collect to me.

Remember this boyz, *my wife* lives with *Me*; ha, ha.

She is one of the strongest, determined, unselfish, LADIES that I have ever met in my entire life. She is my secret weapon. When people meet my wife they are taken back, they think to themselves "man, how did he get a wife like that?" Look up honor, character and integrity in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of my wife.

I can rant all about my success, I've earned the bragging rights as far as I'm concerned. Facts are Facts. But I owe it ALL to her, every last bit of it and anyone that knows her knows thats the truth. My opinion of women is her, she's the perfect role model.

If I wasn't with her, I'd likely feel differently too, but lucky for me, I didn't screw it up

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by nostatic

.....he essentially said that women want to be taken care of. I have found that to not universally be the case.

And Rob never claimed it was universally the case. Maybe you forgot when he said...

Originally Posted by 911Rob

......half the people are this way and the other half that way..... so I usually just keep my mouth shut on the topic unless it's one on one. Same as "the wife working" gig; I really have to shut up on that one because it's about 90/10%?

:::::::::::::::::::::

Originally Posted by nostatic

You viewing it as condescension might say more about your perception than my intent. There are men in the world that do not like strong women who dare to move beyond where they are "allowed".

I don't know if you're attempting to imply something about "my perception," but if you think I have anything against strong women who dare to move beyond blah, blah, blah, that is not the case. Not in the least.

Originally Posted by nostatic

I know plenty of each (cranky men and strong women) - and they don't get along. I personally don't think that Rob is that way, but his attitudes could be construed as such. And I've heard enough of the "uppity woman" and "that beotch" comments from some other guys to realize that they just can't deal with it.

Maybe you're putting those comments on Rob, basing it on your perception of "his attitudes" when you really have no legitimate reason to.

[nostatic]

You view Rob's comments (and mine) through your lens and see no "legitimate reason" to construe them them way I do. That doesn't surprise me in the least.

[dd74]

Personally, I admire the men who are stay at home and are taken care of.

One guy I knew of in this league bought himself a new Ducatti every year or two -- with his wife's money.

Evidently all he had to do was jump up and down on a trampoline...naked of course.

[911Rob]

Well here they are; my 5 ladies. Wife and 4 daughters.......



They are all strong, independent women. They're well educated, smart and beautiful inside/out. Everyone of them gravitate to leadership roles in their interests and amongst friends. They are highly opinionated and they consider me as in......"Oh Dad" or "Oh Rob", stereo typing me for the 49 yo codger I am.

I am proud of them, I love their individual personalities as they're all different (except the youngest and oldest are like twin personalities), nothing makes me happier than to be around them, which I do as often as I can.

My wife has the reputation of being the "coolest" mom (Grandma) out there; she's a social butterfly amongst the community that we live in. Life is good, not by chance, but by design.

[911Rob]

Originally Posted by dd74

Personally, I admire the men who are stay at home and are taken care of.

One guy I knew of in this league bought himself a new Ducatti every year or two -- with his wife's money.

Evidently all he had to do was jump up and down on a trampoline...naked of course.

Ha, Ha!
The second one from the left; Candace....... that'll be *her* husband type.
Ha, Ha. My wife and I always joke about how sorry we'll feel for her husband. She's class A personality through and through; everyone blames me for it.

[911Rob]

[Rikao4]

well I can agree with both T and R,
you both care & respect , and that's were it starts anyway.
Doing something right..going on 27 yrs this July..
she's awesome..

Rika

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by nostatic

You view Rob's comments (and mine) through your lens and see no "legitimate reason" to construe them them way I do. That doesn't surprise me in the least.

And it doesn't surprise me in the least that you've been attempting to set up Rob and his viewpoints as a cavemannish throwback strawman and relentlessly hammering his views with the left-leaning political correctness that you live amongst.

You said "As I clearly said, different strokes," but that is BS and not true. That phrase has always implied a live and let live attitude... the way you have pursued this discussion belies an agenda... or issues... and you have claimed in other threads that you are well aware of your issues.

So, it's either an agenda... or issues... or both.

If you're comfortable with this, that's fine... but you shouldn't try to deny it here when it's so transparent.

[911Rob]

Poll is 96 for the norm and 9 nah.
So I guess America *is* OK.

Thanks John, you certainly know how you feel and I respect that.
It also helps that you agree with me

[vash]

good looking family rob!! you are the only male?