Pelican Parts Forums

I got forwarded some jokes tonight:

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would
meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet about
the ground. You are between 42 and 44 degrees north latitude and between 83 and 85 degrees
west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I
have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below responded, "You must be a manager."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a
promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.
The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now,
somehow, it's my fault."
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An engineer and a mathematician were arguing about which was smarter. They were given
a test. A room was found with doors on opposite sides. One person was put at each door.
In the center of the room they placed a beautiful girl, scantily clothed. The engineer
and mathematician were told that each minute they could go one half the distance to the
girl, and the one that got there first could have her. The mathematician thought a minute
and said I give up, you can never get there. The engineer said, You are right, but I can
get close enough.
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An electrical engineer, mechanical engineer and software engineer are on their way to a
trade show when their car stalls and they are forced to pull over to the side of the road.
The mechnical engineer says, "it's probably a mechanical problem. I'll get my tool box out
of the trunk and I can fix it." The electrical engineer says, "no, I'll bet it's an electrical
problem. I have my multimeter with me and I'll go check it out." Finally, the software engineer
says, "I have the solution! Let's all get out of the car and then get back in. I'll bet we'll
be back on the road in no time."
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Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get
such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own
business when a beautiful coed rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want'."

"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't
have fit."
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An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay
with you and do ANYTHING you want."Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess
and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a
talking frog, now that's cool."