Cop quotes

[Brian 162]

"Just the facts ma'am".

[Schumi]

Drew Carey standup from the mid-nineties, talking about how he has some money now, not the end of the world to get pulled over. One day it's pouring rain. He runs a stop sign.

Cop gets out, drudges through the rain and asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and he replies "Yea, you know why I ran the sign?"

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by mistertate

My favorite ones said to me are:



"Who do you think you are, Mario Andretti?"

One I heard actually happened long ago:

European Cop:

"who do you think you are, Fangio?"

Motorist, (Fangio) handing over competition license: "Yes, here is my license".

This one did happen to me...cop, placing hand on the front trunk of my 911S,
"The engine is cold"...

[Radioactive]

Traffic Stop @ 3:00am

Officer: Have you been drinking?

Sober Driver: No. Why? Do I have an ugly girl in the back seat.

[Tobra]

I got pulled over in Kingwood TX by a constable for running a stop sign on a route I had been using for about a year, 3 times a week on a Friday evening. He asks me why I ran that stop sign. I say I did not see any stop sign, look in my mirror and see the back of a sign, that looks to be completely obscured by a tree. I ask if it is okay if I get out and take a look, walk back, note there is nothing painted on the street, limit line, STOP or anything like that, the bottom of the sign post is the only thing visible. I say, "You mean that stop sign you can't see because it is behind a tree?" He gives me the ticket, saying nothing. I notice it is in precinct 2, Montgomery Co, with the presiding J of P's name. "I am going to be having dinner with Grady(the J of P) tonight, I will ask him about this." Guy actually wants the ticket back, and is talking about giving me a warning. "No, that is okay"

That evening, I ask Grady about it after dinner, show him the ticket, tell him the set up. He is pretty irate, says he will take care of the ticket, and the officer who is making his court look like some sort of racket. Monday morning I see the cop out there, in uniform, with a chainsaw, taking down the tree.

[pwd72s]

Tobra, that's effing beautiful!

[James Brown]

Can't do that now, it's cash for cities now, all bets are off.

[Rick Lee]

True story. In a Rite Aid parking lot after a girl rear ended me so hard, it pushed me into the car in front of me, the cop said to me, "I can't really think of anything to charge her with."

I said, "How about failure to maintain control of her vehicle?"

[Bill Douglas]

Driving through the red light wasn't my fault Officer, I was stirring a sugar into my latte while I was watching some school girls and the phone rang.

[lm6y]

My Father was a cop for twenty years, one of the old school guys. If you were just a decent guy that made a mistake, usually you got a warning, depending on how you conducted yourself. If he came to your house on a domestic you "fell" a couple times on the way to the car. Guys that beat on children had SEVERE balance problems.

I met a guy one night that told me a story about my Dad back in the 80's. He said he left a bar, drunk, but not wasted. He stopped a little farther than the white line at a stop sign. Of course Dad saw it, and pulled him over. He said Dad knew he was drunk, but gave him a field sobriety test. Dad told him to make the OK sign. The guy aced that part. Then Dad told him to poke his head through it. The guy said there is no way in hell you can poke your head through a hole that small! He said your Father did the most brilliant thing in the world after that. Dad put the OK sign to his forehead, and poked his finger through the hole, and poked his forehead. Dad made the guy lock his car up, and gave him a ride home. Even went back to get him when his shift was over. I asked Dad if he remembered it, and he told me the guy's name without thinking.

[Racerbvd]

Well, most of the cops I have met or known aren't dicks, but clearly, they are out there as this guy proves....

[968rz]

He needs to lay off the roids!

[Dueller]

Hey Byron....thought about you last night. Channel surfing I ran across 1983 movie "BMX Bandits." Dayum we're getting old

[Racerbvd]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Hey Byron....thought about you last night. Channel surfing I ran across 1983 movie "BMX Bandits." Dayum we're getting old

Cool Flick, I have it on tape, but need the DVD I have a few quotes that I have been told

[GH85Carrera]

A cop friend of mine told me the story of his first week on traffic patrol. A new Cadillac went flying down a busy street at nearly double the speed limit. The cop pulls him over and swaggers up to the Cadillac and says "You were really flying back there, show my your pilots license" and the driver handed over a pilots license. The cop was completely deflated handed back the license and mumbled keep your speed down. The same cop recently retired as a detective. He now teaches blood splatter interpretation.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by Tobra

I got pulled over in Kingwood TX by a constable for running a stop sign on a route I had been using for about a year, 3 times a week on a Friday evening. He asks me why I ran that stop sign. I say I did not see any stop sign, look in my mirror and see the back of a sign, that looks to be completely obscured by a tree. I ask if it is okay if I get out and take a look, walk back, note there is nothing painted on the street, limit line, STOP or anything like that, the bottom of the sign post is the only thing visible. I say, "You mean that stop sign you can't see because it is behind a tree?" He gives me the ticket, saying nothing. I notice it is in precinct 2, Montgomery Co, with the presiding J of P's name. "I am going to be having dinner with Grady(the J of P) tonight, I will ask him about this." Guy actually wants the ticket back, and is talking about giving me a warning. "No, that is okay"

That evening, I ask Grady about it after dinner, show him the ticket, tell him the set up. He is pretty irate, says he will take care of the ticket, and the officer who is making his court look like some sort of racket. Monday morning I see the cop out there, in uniform, with a chainsaw, taking down the tree.

Muwahahahahaha. Revenge!

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by Racerbvd

Well, most of the cops I have met or known aren't dicks, but clearly, they are out there as this guy proves....

I'm pretty sure i kicked this dude's ass as a kid. Explains why he's a cop now.