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My new personal vision of hell...
...involves me working professionally as a gift wrapper in a crowded mall on Christmas Eve. I'd be stuck out on a very small card table in the middle of the transit aisle. No chair and the table top is 28 inches off the floor. Christmas muzak piped in at 86 dB all the time. Constantly surrounded by bitter old ladies with their yappy dogs who want odd-shaped presents and stuffed animals wrapped. I'm supplied with glitter paper, low-tensile-strength ribbon, low-tack tape (unless it's on your fingers), and dull scissors with a chip in one blade. I'm supervised by three constantly-shedding Siamese cats (all with bowel and bladder issues) who are constantly hungry. I get no breaks or time off.
Almost forgot - "quality control" is supplied by my wife. Bah humbug! |
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12-23-2011, 12:01 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,943
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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12-23-2011, 12:06 PM
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Seldom Seen Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: California
Posts: 3,584
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AND you're sitting on a toilet the whole time.
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Why do things that happen to white trash always happen to me? Got nachos? |
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12-23-2011, 01:13 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Long Beach CA, the sewer by the sea.
Posts: 38,307
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Put me out there and the cops will be called. However, I could do the old ladies better than the OC darlings that patrol the Newport Fashion Island Mall.
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12-23-2011, 01:17 PM
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Gon fix it with me hammer
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I would be making sure to get liquored up before and during said activities
I doubt anything would get packed properly, but it would make for an interesting day.
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Stijn Vandamme EX911STARGA73EX92477EX94484EX944S8890MPHPINBALLMACHINEAKAEX987C2007 BIMDIESELBMW116D2019 |
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12-23-2011, 01:52 PM
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Yeah - That's not a description of my real job by any means. That just happens to be what I conjured up in my head as the worst possible way to spend eternity. I had some inspiration from this morning's gift-wrapping session...
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12-23-2011, 02:41 PM
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BimForce the Third, Esquire
