Who has a great marriage/relationship.

[Hard-Deck]

Danimal mentioned that one of us who has a great marriage should start a thread. I'm sure it's to help counter-steer all the threads about crazy wives, husbands and ex's.

So who has a great one?

I'll start.

As stated in another thread: I can't really say exactly what the success is. We love each other. We love our kids; they love us. We are both service-types; me in the military, her an RN. We encourage each other in education and leisure and we have a good mix of being together and leaving each other needed alone time. We get a lot done and we never fight. It's a mix of right things/personalities/chemistry I guess.

We agree politically, fiscally, and we set every goal together and help each other achieve them.

Both of us came from dysfunctional families and we absolutely avoid the behaviors that we know leads to that in our family. It's work, but less work than strife and discontent.

[porsche4life]

Good, I was getting tired of all the women bashing....

I've seen that long marriages are possible, my parents are proof.

I'm still looking for the right one...

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by porsche4life

I'm still looking for the right one...

Stop looking and you'll have better luck. But I'm sure you know that.

[nostatic]

My fiancee is awesome. She is crazy (artists always are) but it is a complementary crazy and as a result she gets why I do some of the things I do. Really the key was that I sorted out a lot of my own baggage before I met her, and when we met I was not on my "best behavior." Early on I made my foibles and issues very clear to her and said, "this is how I am - don't expect to change things". No bait and switch involved, and she did the same. So very little has come as a surprise.

[Dantilla]

Every time I see what some here have gone through with troubled relationships, I give my wife an extra hug.

[mossguy]

51 years: some great, some good, mostly good. Some growing pains and now the effort on both our parts has been/is paying off handsomely.

[McLovin]

I do! Married 20+ years to the same person, both of us have never been married to anyone else, we get along fabulously. We have many personality differences, but they compliment each other, rather than conflict with each other. We do agree on basic values. We are both graduates of top 20 universities. Our kids are incredible - straight As, national level competitive athletes, musically talented, thoughtful, kind, interesting - I have to say, perfect.

The secret is you have to marry the right person. Nobody is perfect, but some are a lot closer than others. You just need to be good people. The kind of people that other people like to be around.

Another secret is you (as the husband), need to have a good career that is rewarding to you and makes enough to support the lifestyle that each of you need. Financial strain or job stresses/hate of job leads to a lot of problems in a marriage, IMO.

Finally, I suppose there is a little bit of luck involved. When you get married in your early 20s, you are still kids, and subject to a lot of change as you go through 30s, 40s, etc. Hopefully these changes keep you together, rather than drive apart.

[Dottore]

Well I confess to being very happy with my wife. She is 12 years younger than I am, and I was 44 when I married her.

Somehow we are completely in synch. She is my best friend and I am hers. She gives me all the space in the world, and we are frequently in different parts of the world. But coming home to her is always truly coming home—and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

She is attractive, and funny and wise beyond her years. An architect and an artist. To my lawyer and writer. I love her smell. I love her laugh. I love it all.

Before I met her I was very happily single, and didn't want to change that at all. But then we met, and there was no stopping us. I really couldn't be happier.

I apologize for the sappiness of this.

[oldschoollear]

I do! 6 years this Feb. don't know what I did with out her. Coolest girl I've ever met and love her more everyday!

[BernieP]

36 years for me. Marrying me wife was the smartest thing I ever did. We have never had a serious argument. We both work so finances have never been a problem so no fights about money. She is a great partner. We have few common interests but it works for us.

Bernie P

[Hard-Deck]

Originally Posted by McLovin

Financial strain or job stresses/hate of job leads to a lot of problems in a marriage, IMO.

Finally, I suppose there is a little bit of luck involved. When you get married in your early 20s, you are still kids, and subject to a lot of change as you go through 30s, 40s, etc. Hopefully these changes keep you together, rather than drive apart.

Yes, this is another key factor. Happiness in job is crucial because you will spend 1/3 of your life there, or more. You have to not have baggage from work when you come home.

[Tobra]

I am sitting pretty good, 15 years, sort of cliche, doctor married to a nurse. Her mother actually set us up on our first date. Hot looking blonde that likes guns and football, what are the odds. We see eye to eye on practically everything, except the Cowboys vs 49ers thing.


That said, I can't imagine anybody is doing any better than Hugh and the charming Mrs R. Good guy married to a great lady.

[Seahawk]

I am a difficult man. I thank god every day I met my match.

[tweezers74]

Originally Posted by McLovin

The secret is you have to marry the right person. Nobody is perfect, but some are a lot closer than others. You just need to be good people. The kind of people that other people like to be around.

So right, McLovin. I am saying that because I failed to do so. Marry the right person. It takes a lot of work and listening to yourself to find the right person. Some of us are lucky, like all of you, to find the other person. And some of us, struggle.

But it is lovely reading all the entries here... you all should be very grateful you have found your other halves. Just reading the posts make me smile. It makes all the people who are skeptical of the love thing, believe again.

Many more years of happiness to all of you!

[widgeon13]

Forty two years. We work things out. Somedays are diamond, some are stone. We aren't perfect but we do love each other. I don't think anyone else would tolerate me for all these years. I'm a lucky guy in many ways.

[rattlsnak]

You guys don't know how lucky you are. I can honestly say I dislike my wife a LOT more the I like her.

[Halm]

40 years of marriage, 2 kids and 5 grand kids. And the last 15 years we work together as a team in IT consulting.

Not much to share on how we do it except we try hard to communicate and listen.

[Hugh R]

Originally Posted by Tobra

That said, I can't imagine anybody is doing any better than Hugh and the charming Mrs R. Good guy married to a great lady.

I agree 100% she is wonderful. I've been very lucky and am amazed that she has decided to stick with me for the last 28 years.

[scottbombedout]

I do! Been together 26 years, started going out when she was 16.

Best thing to ever happen to me. How she put up with all the early crap off me I don't know.

More gorgeous and sexier even now than when she was 16.

I'm off to bed

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by rattlsnak

You guys don't know how lucky you are. I can honestly say I dislike my wife a LOT more the I like her.

Yeah, but do you love her?