Dying

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by motion

Patrick's thread really put me in a somber mood and compelled me to think about what it would be like to be surrounded by loved ones when you go. Will they be crying, lamenting your passing, or happy and joyful, celebrating your life? What compels your loved ones to have the reaction they have? Is it what you've done with your life? I've spent my life dreading dying, and it is in my thoughts every day, for better or worse. I try to extract every last ounce of life while I have it, but of course, I am always going to fall short. I guess all I've really learned is to focus on what matters, and discard the rest. The endless pursuit is trying to figure out what really matters.

Just rambling... I hate death and am completely terrified at the thought of leaving this world, and the company of the people I love.

When you leave this world you leave space for the young folks. Think of others and don't be selfish. As somebody else said in this thread worrying about it does not increase your lifespan. Like a ripe apple on a tree it falls.... when whoever decides to let it fall.

[szyzygy]

I'm an actuary. I think about all of you dying everyday.

[vash]

i'm pretty sure it is gonna suck.

the stories, the "this happened to me" stories. 100% of them are told by folks still living. the living's perspective only. statements like, "he looks peaceful" are only our perspectives.

we wont really understand, until the time comes. man, i hope it doesnt suck!. the trick is to not worry about it until it is time to "embrace the suck". i'm working on it. good luck friends!! see you on the other side.

[szyzygy]

Originally Posted by vash

i'm pretty sure it is gonna suck.

the stories, the "this happened to me" stories. 100% of them are told by folks still living. the living's perspective only. statements like, "he looks peaceful" are only our perspectives.

we wont really understand, until the time comes. man, i hope it doesnt suck!. the trick is to not worry about it until it is time to "embrace the suck". i'm working on it. good luck friends!! see you on the other side.

it's called survivorship bias. It applies to stock prices, too

[creaturecat]

Originally Posted by vash

i'm pretty sure it is gonna suck.

the stories, the "this happened to me" stories. 100% of them are told by folks still living. the living's perspective only. statements like, "he looks peaceful" are only our perspectives.

we wont really understand, until the time comes. man, i hope it doesnt suck!. the trick is to not worry about it until it is time to "embrace the suck". i'm working on it. good luck friends!! see you on the other side.

embrace the suck. that's about it.
i'll be at the west end, and i'll be there a lot sooner than you, actuarially-wise!
.

[craigster59]

Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

-John Prine

[Don Ro]

I'm suspicious of anyone who says they're not afraid of dying.
That's just me...not wanting to create a thread war...it's just what I notice.
.

[craigster59]

Originally Posted by Don Ro

I'm suspicious of anyone who says they're not afraid of dying.
That's just me...not wanting to create a thread war...it's just what I notice.
.

It's the second biggest event in your Life, next to Birth. The first event turned out pretty cool, now didn't it?

[nynor]

Originally Posted by motion

Patrick's thread really put me in a somber mood and compelled me to think about what it would be like to be surrounded by loved ones when you go. Will they be crying, lamenting your passing, or happy and joyful, celebrating your life? What compels your loved ones to have the reaction they have? Is it what you've done with your life? I've spent my life dreading dying, and it is in my thoughts every day, for better or worse. I try to extract every last ounce of life while I have it, but of course, I am always going to fall short. I guess all I've really learned is to focus on what matters, and discard the rest. The endless pursuit is trying to figure out what really matters.

Just rambling... I hate death and am completely terrified at the thought of leaving this world, and the company of the people I love.

i think it is the culture that is fostered within the family and by the person that is dying. there are other considerations, of course: how the person died, at what age, sudden, drawn out, tragic, accepted, etc.

the mood of my family, and myself, when my grandmother died was very different than when my 20 year old sister died, unexpectedly, suddenly, and selfishly. my grandmother was a loving person that loved life and embraced her reward. my sister was unhappy, entitled, and vengeful. she had good qualities, too, and i loved her more than any of my other siblings.

anyway, introspection rubs off.

my two cents. YMMV.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by craigster59

It's the second biggest event in your Life, next to Birth. The first event turned out pretty cool, now didn't it?

Yeah, and who among us was present for their own birth?

[Joe Bob]

My 'rents are pretty young....75 and 80. Theirs lived long as well.

My Dadz (shutup Sid) says...."dying, it's a hard act to follow"

[LeeH]

Originally Posted by Don Ro

Yeah, and who among us was present for their own birth?

Um... who WASN'T present for their own birth?

[A930Rocket]

My wife has been a nurse for 35 years and has seen it all as well. She sees death as beautiful. Me, not so much.

She's been there numerous times, holding their hands and praying, as they slipped away. She's consoled many a family as well, helping them through tough decisions.

Quote de A930Rocket

What a story tweezers!



My dad is 85 and has lived a full life, but he's getting to the point where he's not very mobile, forgets things, takes lots if meds, etc. I told my wife I don't want want to live like that. Hopefully I'll be ready for the other side and can make it quick.

I have a ton of "stories". I told myself one of these days I am going to write a book, a collection of sorts, of all the deaths I was a part of. Not as morbid as it sounds. More as a tribute to all the wonderful patients and families I had that taught me so much about life, death, being a nurse, myself. I have some funny stories, some sad, some wonderful. Each chapter would be about a different patient. That's why I believe your encounters with people can be life changing, even if it's brief. I hope all those patients know I still speak of them and learned from them.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by LeeH

Um... who WASN'T present for their own birth?

.
You were? Tell us about it, then.

[LeeH]

Originally Posted by Don Ro

.
You were? Tell us about it, then.

I got photos taken right after. Pretty sure I was there.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by LeeH

I got photos taken right after. Pretty sure I was there.

Wonderful! Again, feel free to share your experience of it.

[craigster59]

Originally Posted by Don Ro

Wonderful! Again, feel free to share your experience of it?

Birth is like Death. You can't describe it, you just had to be there.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by craigster59

...you just had to be there.

Too funny! Great!

[craigster59]

I remember when I was born. My parents had me circumcised. It hurt so bad, I couldn't walk for a year. (Thanks Moses).

[aigel]

In my younger years I used to panic just thinking about my own death. But I get less and less worried with age. Once death has started to chip away at your body and you realize you will never be 20 again, the unavoidable path forward becomes clearer every birthday, decade, milestone of your life.

Only two things that currently worry me:

1) Going too early, while a young family still needs you.

2) Dying slowly, bedridden for years, with pain and being a financial and emotional drain on your family.

Think of it this way: Ideally you are going to be old, with a worn out body, many of your friends dead and it will be obvious that death is the last chapter. I have witnessed this many times. People are ready by that time. Life is more miserable than death, once your body is spent. You will know when it is time to stop taking your meds, tip the nurse and ask her to be generous on the morphine.

Let's just make the time count that we are here.

G