Dottore - Anyone know anything?

[mattdavis11]

Originally Posted by dipso

I'm sure if he wants to contact anyone, he will.
Jeez, leave the guy alone.

Some people actually care about the well being of others. Now take your ass back to PARF and defend one who thinks he does. He needs some support.

Edited for clarity.

[dipso]

Oh shut up Matt. People are talking about exchanging his personal information, driving by or calling his place of employment. You guys are getting creepy.
' Oh, excuse me. I know you dont know me, but I talked to Dottore on the Internet. I haven't heard from him in a while. Is he OK.?

"Go away Crazy, Slam!"

[Icemaster]

You'll be comforted to know that when you disappear, we wont come looking for you.

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by icemaster

you'll be comforted to know that when you disappear, we wont come looking for you.

100+

[dipso]

Good. I would assume you would have the same respect for Dottores privacy.

You'll be comforted to know that when you disappear, we wont come looking for you.

[notfarnow]

Originally Posted by dipso

It's kind of weird you guys are stalking him. Even thinking about doing a drive by.
Jeezus. Talk about nosey busybodies.

I guess I would think that if I trolled forums hoping to get reactions from people and never be accountable for it in real life.

Or, there *could* be people who participate in forums and get to know people on a more human level, and actually care whether our online friends are ok. You know, like in real life.

[Jim Richards]

I can see both sides (dipso's and everyone elses) to this.

[creaturecat]

I retract my offer to drive by.
I meant no harm.
honest.

[GO DAWG GO]

removed - ns

[Gogar]

I see both sides too.

IMO friendship - internet or otherwise - is an OPT-IN situation.

If he hasn't been here, he hasn't been here. If he doesn't want to participate with you, his internet acquaintances, that's fine.

If something troubling has happened to him and he has been ill or if he has died, please remember that you are STRANGERS. This is a nice community most of the time but you do need to realize that some things just aren't for strangers, even "good strangers", or "strangers with best intentions."

If you know Dottore's real name or have his email or his phone number, please call him and wish him well, like a good friend would do. And send him best wishes from PPOT!

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Gogar

I see both sides too.

IMO friendship - internet or otherwise - is an OPT-IN situation.

If he hasn't been here, he hasn't been here. If he doesn't want to participate with you, his internet acquaintances, that's fine.

If something troubling has happened to him and he has been ill or if he has died, please remember that you are STRANGERS. This is a nice community most of the time but you do need to realize that some things just aren't for strangers, even "good strangers", or "strangers with best intentions."

If you know Dottore's real name or have his email or his phone number, please call him and wish him well, like a good friend would do. And send him best wishes from PPOT!

+1. Doesn't sound like anyone is "that" close....send him a PM (at most), and wish him well. I've had REAL friends in REAL life disengage with everyone for "whatever" reason...different strokes folks. If he was able (and wanted) to engage, he would. Otherwise, I'm sure he knows he's got a lot of "virtual friends" who wish him the best....just mho.

ps: These old threads that occasionally get brought back to life...THOUSANDS of folks used to be here and aren't anymore....let it go.

[dipso]

"Hi, excuse me. I know you don't know me but I talked to your husband online 8 months ago. I'm not really sure of his real name, but he uses Dottore online. I think his name might be Mark, might be something else, I don't know.
Anyways I did some research online and found out where he works. I coupled that with some personal information given to another online persona that he gave to me.
Man it was hard to find your home address and you are the third house I have tried. I do have the right address, right.
Sorry to be a bother, but is he OK? A bunch of us guys were wondering. "

Slam! 911.

[stomachmonkey]

Just before the holidays a few years back a very dear friend calls me to tell me he is going out of town. His older brother, also a friend, is dying. He tells me what his brother is dying of and makes me promise not to tell anyone else, his brother would not want anyone to know.

I call my friend once a week for the next few weeks to see how he is holding up but he does not return my calls.

One night I see his wife online and send her an IM asking how her BIL is doing and how is my friend taking it.

She tells me I may as well know now, my friend is in a hospice, they don't expect him to make it thru the weekend.

He did not want anyone to know and did not want visitors while he was like that.

When he called to tell me about his brother I think he was really telling me about himself and to say good bye.

Gogar is correct.

Remember Mark but respect his wishes, he has made then known.

[genrex]

I'm sure he's fine.

One of his last posts was in PARF.... he posted a very intelligent, insightful, and well-meaning post, using an erudite word that I had to look up in the dictionary (not the first time he did that!).... and the first reply from a PARF regular was a poorly-written personal attack that did not reply to anything he had said. Just an out-and-out baseless personal attack. And the mods did nothing about it.

I think at that point he realized that there are far better ways for him to spend his time. He's gone, he's not coming back, and I think he did the right thing.

__

[M.D. Holloway]

been there done that prolly happen again sadly

[Icemaster]

All fair points. At least in this discussion. MHO, if I know a guy from this forum by name (not screen name) with personal info outside this environment, and I haven't heard from him from a while, I'm gonna ask if he's OK. I'd rather be told 'go away' than let someone hang out there not knowing that I care enough to ask about him. Or her. Call it guilt avoidance if you want, but frankly I'd sleep better knowing that I checked, and contact was refused than live with the "I wish I had asked...".

I'd hope the same would be done for me.

YMMV.

[rsNINESOOPER]

Let's say for a minute you (not being specific) were a well educated and thoughtful person who liked to frequent a rowdy bar full of mostly nice folks but there were a few total @ssh*le$ who would single you out and antagonize you now and again. Lets assume this minor inconvenience was only occasional at first but then became more and more frequent. At this point you have developed a like for hanging out at the bar due to the nice folks but hate it because of the few @ssh*le$. You like it enough to go sit with them for short periods while you are at the bar in order to try and reason with them. YOU CAN"T REASON WITH @ssh*le$ no matter how thoughtful, well spoken, and patient you are so eventually you decide it just isn't worth any more.

Finally you stop going to the bar and feel no need to make any kind of formal announcement since the relationships were very casual. Aside for maybe one or two people that you talk to from time to time that do not report back to the bar because they possess what few do. Self respect, loyalty, compassion, intelligence, respect for others, and a passion for evolution of the self.

Politics and Religion have killed a lot of people- more than death itself.

[genrex]

Exactly. If I recall correctly, he had purchased a Ferrari recently, to drive around Europe... so he might be over on ferrarichat or some such (God forbid).

__

[red-beard]

I wonder if they have a PARF in Ferrarichat?

[speeder]

Dipso is actually right this time, though he could have said it in a nicer way. Gogar said it better. privacy in the internet age is a tricky thing because some people do not care about their own at all and therefore assume that no one else should either.

I really struggle with it because I'm somewhat of a privacy buff in real life yet I'm addicted to talking to strangers on the internet. I don't think that these two things are really all that incongruous because they are such different mediums, (the "gravity world" and the internet), that is until someone intermixes them without the consent of the person being "outed". I've been seriously creeped-out by someone who I do not like on this forum trying to inform everyone else of some details of my life, the problem is that it was almost all inaccurate aside from being generally intrusive and mean-spirited, not to mention a serious violation of forum rules.

I'm about thisclose to deleting my FB account because I'm afraid that it's the devil in terms of stolen privacy. The problem there is that it's also an excellent way to keep up with all of the people I don't ever see in real life, which is almost everyone. I have an old friend/acquaintance who is a genuine recluse, super interesting guy who used to have a high profile life and then dropped off the face of the earth. When I saw his name pop-up on FB, I was sure that it was a fake account that someone else started. To make a long paragraph short, it was really him and we re-connected. When I thought about it later, it made perfect sense--the internet is a perfect way for people who are hermits in real life to have human contact with friends and even strangers on a limited level of their choosing.

I knew Mr. Dottore a little bit offline but never got to meet him face-to-face. He was the one person from here that I really wanted to and did not get the chance. He was an extremely impressive guy IMO, I am not the least bit surprised by the description of his career in the other thread about him. He was a combination of nice guy and smart guy that is about as good as men get. I knew for sure that he did something smart in the past that set him up for life financially and that he knew how to live as few do. And again, he was just so damn nice and generous, once sending me some books that he thought I'd like, for instance.

He was also someone who guarded his online privacy pretty well and it was not by accident. Not only did he not want to be bothered by anyone, he also did not want his real ID linked to the crazy-ass threads on this board. I feel exactly the same way. Without revealing anymore privileged info, I'm about 99.99% sure that he's dead. It's extremely sad but that's life. I'll miss him but actually went through the grieving process a while ago for the guy.