Lost sense of humor and patience.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Go live life, take your mind off of it. I was laid off over a month ago, job hunting and the prospect of moving my family has been incredibly frustrating and stressful. I've also been working on my house every day, all day, seven days a week getting it ready for a potential sale. Yesterday I was borderline breaking point. My son had friends over yesterday, and one of his buddy's parents ended up hanging out until 1 AM having drinks with us. It was cathartic as hell, I feel better this morning than I have in weeks.

[oldE]

Slak,

Sounds like you're in the second stage of grief: Anger.

However you deal with and accept the loss, you will eventually go through the stages and if you are lucky,come out the other side to Acceptance.

It is a hard journey. Keep your friends and loved ones close. They're probably hurting as much as you.
Best of luck.
Les

[Oh Haha]

My wife went through a similar change when her Grandma passed. I suggested she see a counselor like I did. She went 1 time and claimed to be "fixed". Pffft, I don't think so.


She talked with her primary doctor and she put her on meds that have helped ALOT. It took a few different brands/dosages to get it right, though.

While counseling may not SEEM needed I firmly believe that it can help. I wish you the best no matter what you do.

[911SauCy]

Remember, there is always something to be positive about.

Mrs Saucy and I recently were discussing me, being in a funk, like you. Our initial step has been to send each other an email every morning once we settle at work with 3 positives for the day...it's been working.

Negativity can be drowning, but it's a mindset, start thinking positively!

Start with this: You own a Porsche, there are people who can't afford a car, nevermind a Porsche. I'm always humbled by this when I read on PP "Just bought my dream car" or "I've been lusting after a 911 for 25years" in intro threads.

The following was recently posted in another PPOT thread...consider:

~"My wife and I are walking around shell shocked. Punched in the gut.

I will not go into detail, but my wife and I had a dispute with her former employer. One of the individuals lined up on the other side was a former colleague.

About the same time our dispute was reaching a flash point, his wife left him. The administration tossed him under the bus, and he found himself sidelined after years of dedicated service. Then he got cancer. Spent several weeks close to death. Slowly crawled back. This mans career was ending in a whimper, he was alone and recovering from cancer.

Tonight we got word that his only children, twins, were killed in a bus accident in Ecuador. They were both successful doctors, traveling together on a sibling trip. They had no children of their own."~

[72doug2,2S]

Experiencing loss is one of those things we all have in common. None of us are immune to it. There isn't one quick fix either, you have to go through this period. Not necessarily alone, but you must go through the grieving process to get beyond it. Once you do this, time will do a great thing and happiness can return.

Although you have take care of yourself, spending your time for the benefit of others can be extremely therapeutic. There's no need for an expensive shrink. You can talk to a pastor for free, or simply put yourself out there as a volunteer with absolutely zero expectations for personal gain. I find I am most content when I put others above myself.

Perspectives make this possible. Certainly Christians realize they are here to serve and not be served, that kinda sums it up for most. But before they were Christians, they had to receive the gift of faith through Jesus before they too could give of themselves freely. Trying to go rogue and doing it on your own is only a temporary fix. I can't answer this question for other faiths or secular world views, this is my own personal experience.

[scottmandue]

A variation on the bat/mattress theme...
When I was younger and more angry I had a very old/dry/hard tree stump in my back yard.
When I would lose my temper I would run out to the back yard and take an ax to that stump until I was exhausted.
In retrospect perhaps wielding an ax in an aggravated state is not the best advice...

[Brian in VA]

I go through bouts of this too, mostly stress and sleep deprivation. Running is great, but also a few weird things: for some reason being around dirt helps (they've studied this) so get outside. Also, force yourself to smile - there's a feedback loop, so the act will make you feel better even if you're forcing it. Try reading zenhabits.com, you might pick up a few things that help.

[Seahawk]

Perspective is the most powerful drug in the world. You'll be fine.

Make you bed every morning...watch the whole thing, Slak.

[Joe Bob]

Did you ever have a sense of humor or patience? If not...save your money and move to happier locale.

[RANDY P]

Originally Posted by slakjaw

Any of you boys wake up one morning and everything had turned to ****? Since my stepdad died, I haven't been able to laugh, take things way too seriously, and have become a general azzhole.........

go tug ur weed

rjp

[jcommin]

Originally Posted by slakjaw

Any of you boys wake up one morning and everything had turned to ****? Since my stepdad died, I haven't been able to laugh, take things way too seriously, and have become a general azzhole. I don't care about the things that used to make me happy. I don't want to be an A-Hole but my patience level has been zero for a long time now. How do I get back to where I was before everything turned to ****?

Do you boys think I need to see a shrink? I'm not down with paying someone to talk to me. It's prostitution yo.

I like Paul's comment but.........allow yourself the time to mourn. You experienced a loss - I think grieving is a multi-stepped process. But don't let the anger get the best of you.
I hope you give yourself time to grieve - so you can move forward.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Sorry to hear about your situation but as has been said you need to grieve, pick up your pieces, get your compass out, chart a course and get on it - not wallow around in misery.

If you don't like your situation, change it.

[DanielDudley]

Drowning your sorrows only stuff them down to where they have to pop out.

Consider also that whatever you are thinking about when you are drinking will stay with you when you are sober. People start drinking to solve their problems, but eventually, drinking can become the problem.

Don't drink alone, and don't drink if you are unhappy. It's a bad combination, There is an entire world out there beyond the bottle and your current sadness.

[RF5BPilot]

btw, a grief counselor is not a shrink.