Arggh! Damage to my son's car this am...how would you guys handle this?

[gchappel]

My son had a similar, but less damaging, accident.
I had him get 3 estimates.
I did not report it to insurance, and had him pay for it- used up the money he was saving to get a new guitar. Yes I felt bad, but it was time for a lesson.
He was much more careful after that event- money well spent
Gary

[Bugsinrugs]

I vote "B" . There will be plenty of lessons to be learned. He is your son.

[19-911-65]

Originally Posted by gshase

Fix it together A dad son bonding time.

Kids grow up fast...real fast! Give him a hug, tell him you love him and let him know you are glad he didn't get hurt...use this as a learning experience and guidance towards the future.

Cars come and go, how you handle this with him will last forever. See what he wants to do, lead him to make a good decision about the repair. I did the same thing twice when I was his age, my son did it once. He just turned 39 and we are still wrenching on cars together, I treasure the moments.

Bolt the bumper back on, throw a carbon wrap on it or rattle can it...then call it a day. Tell him "he" made a good decision and a good repair...lead by example.

[john70t]

Bolt a 2x10 on. Cone of shame.

[Scott Douglas]

I would ask you, whose car is it?
His or yours?

I'm surprised that that much damage can occur in such a short distance of travel, or was he able to get up to speed getting out of the garage?

For what it's worth, here are a few pictures of my son at age 19, changing his front bumper, not because of an accident, but because he wanted to. When there's an investment of time, energy, sweat and a little bit of money too, it's amazing what kids can do on their own.






Me? I'd put the plate on that rear bar with some zip ties and let him use it 'till he can fix it himself. He'll learn more from the lesson that way, IMO.

[pors1968]

Originally Posted by gshase

Fix it together A dad son bonding time.

I would take this way.He wont forget.

[fintstone]

b, if you can do it together and the result is good enough to suit you both or c/d where you pay to get it fixed (if it is not too large a burden on you) with the agreement that he will work it off (assuming you have something that he can do to help out) working every other Saturday at a reasonable fair rate.

I did similar with my daughter where we compromised. I paid half (because I am generous and want here to spend her time on her studies) and she paid the other half (because she was at fault and wanted the car to look better than the "road warrior" version). She learned her lesson; I only had to pay half (so my cruel wife was ok with it) and I still got to be my daughter's favorite cool Dad. Her grades remained good enough to keep her scholarship and get an additional one...so we both made out well in the end. She is a Doctor now and pays her own way.

At this age, too much discipline and they move out and live on the street, get strange tattoos/piercings and hate you. Too little and they are still drinking all your beer and living in your basement at 50.

[aigel]

Your options need to include your son fixing it himself with as little help from you as necessary. In the mean time, zip tie the license plate to the bumper to buy you two some time to figure it out.

Edit: Always remind your kid that in a couple years he will be on his own, so need to get used to figuring things out himself.

Typical mom and dad reaction BTW - this is why it is good kids have 2 parents ...

G

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by BSiple

B, work on it together and have him help.

This, or maybe offer to help him repair it.

[reddogmotrsprts]

Originally Posted by gshase

Fix it together A dad son bondo time.

Fixed that for ya.

[RANDY P]

Update the car a bit:

[LeeH]

Check eBay. New and used bumper covers are pretty cheap there. Some sellers include painting to match as part of the price.

[2porscheguy]

Originally Posted by fintstone

At this age, too much discipline and they move out and live on the street, get strange tattoos/piercings and hate you. Too little and they are still drinking all your beer and living in your basement at 50.

Schitt! Can't have that! He's already drinkin' ma beer!....good advice fintstone!

[look 171]

How did we manage to handle stuff like back then when we're still wet behind the ears and have no money going to school? Somehow we made it work and learn from it without asking our folks. Even if I ask, my dad would have said, I can fix it but why, what's wrong with a used red bumper on a blue car? It happened to me too, but I made sure it happened only one time.

I say have him search for a used bumper on his own and put it together with him. If he has no money, pay for the bumper but have him go out and buy it and bring it home.

[creaturecat]

I like the zip tie option, as mentioned earlier.

[DanielDudley]

Your intuition told you to warn him, but you blew it off. Then you went off on him.

After you beat the dog for peeing on the carpet, you are supposed to let him know that you love him. I would suggest that in some way you do that.

[2porscheguy]

^Yes, I should have gone with my gut instinct DD but.....he is an adult..

[cashflyer]

Hand him a roll of duct tape and tell him, "Here's a lesson you won't learn at Uni: Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid. Don't be stupid."

[patz]

U can't FIX stupid.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Fixed: