Charging Adult Children Rent

[tangerine911S]

Originally Posted by gacook

Once you're an adult, you're no longer a child, and no longer my responsibility

This seems to be a common mentality and I don't get it at all. Why the hell do you people have children? It seems like the first 18 years are hell, you can't wait to get them out, and you want relatively little to do with them after that. I understand wanting them to be independent because that is necessary and normal but growing up in a family where love was everywhere, to me this idea of get out now you're not my problem is just sad. No wonder so many young adults are screw ups. The people who are supposed to love and support them are giving them deadlines at young ages, years in advance, for when they are no longer wanted.

[Hydrocket]

Although my dad was wealthy, he made us pay for most everything...including our school. As a reward for graduating, we were allowed a 1 year pass to live rent free; to pay off bills, travel a bit and to find a job and get established. After the 1 year pass, it was time to pay rent at the market rate. My dad was a wonderful and very fair man. Even so, I was very excited to move out and be on my own....because to me that was the final piece of the puzzle in going from "boy" to "man". I think I only paid rent for a year, then bought my own house at 22 or so.

Am very grateful for how my dad handled things.

[ledhedsymbols]

Originally Posted by tangerine911S

This seems to be a common mentality and I don't get it at all. Why the hell do you people have children? It seems like the first 18 years are hell, you can't wait to get them out, and you want relatively little to do with them after that. I understand wanting them to be independent because that is necessary and normal but growing up in a family where love was everywhere, to me this idea of get out now you're not my problem is just sad. No wonder so many young adults are screw ups. The people who are supposed to love and support them are giving them deadlines at young ages, years in advance, for when they are no longer wanted.

Big difference between helping them an hindering their growth as adults. No tough love and ultimatums here, just not enabling adults to act like children.

[tangerine911S]

Originally Posted by ledhedsymbols

Big difference between helping them an hindering their growth as adults. No tough love and ultimatums here, just not enabling adults to act like children.

I understand that and also see examples where parents are truly trying to help their kids by some similar method. But I'm mostly seeing "I've dealt with you for 18 years, can't wait to have you gone. Maybe I can tolerate you for a holiday visit"

[Hydrocket]

Originally Posted by tangerine911S

I understand that and also see examples where parents are truly trying to help their kids by some similar method. But I'm mostly seeing "I've dealt with you for 18 years, can't wait to have you gone. Maybe I can tolerate you for a holiday visit"

I wasn't getting that vibe from this thread.

Or was this what you are seeing in your life?

[tangerine911S]

Originally Posted by Hydrocket

I wasn't getting that vibe from this thread.

Or was this what you are seeing in your life?

Far from it. Exactly the opposite.