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met a married couple for dinner.
pulled into a garage at the same time. he was backing his Tundra into a spot and his wife got out to help him back in. they were slowly going back she said.."slow..slow, you have about a foot left"..he inches back and makes contact..he jumps out and says, "i thought you said i had a foot left!!" she said.."well, i get confused, you said "this" was six inches" (she had her fingers about 3" apart) we laughed...and then i had to explain it to my G-rated wife. |
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It's called "being a survivalist." |
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Please tell me what part of my statement was a lie. |
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2. The difference between ~$1800 and ~$1500 does not equate to "MUCH" cheaper. The slicks are a little cheaper. Ask your wife if ~$1500 for a set of tires that last one weekend are "MUCH" cheaper than the Michelins you just had put on her car. Spin it anyway you want, but you purposely misled (lied to) your wife and think you are so clever for getting away with it. |
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When I started racing, my wife encouraged me to spend freely on safety gear. The big joke turned into how anything for racing is "safety", no matter how convoluted the reasoning.
Race tires are for safety. Don't want to spin into the weeds at triple-digit speeds, do we? |
I remember some time ago one of our guys had an expensive set of slick Hoosiers fitted to his 911. He offered to take one of the ladies for a lap around the track but she replied "No way would I ride in a car with tires that bald." LOL
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One of the blonde to the core women my wife worked with had what we still today call "Sue-isms"
My favorite was one she mentioned to my my wife: The morning after a thunderstorm came through the area the night before she said "We had a lot of thunder last night, but at least we did not have any lightning!" We still quote that at home after a large clap of thunder. |
When my wife and I first married, we tried to assign chores based more on who did them well rather than gender bias.
Problem was, over time, she kept arguing how I did all the chores so much better than she, that I should be doing all of them. Hm. |
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It was an early Saturday evening. Suddenly we found ourselves with no kids. Some friends had called up and ask if our kids could come over for sleep over.
They came by and picked up the kids and I told the wife I'll go out and rent a movie. I came home, got a beer from the fridge and poured her a glass of wine. Wife: I'm gonna go put on something more comfortable. (as she walks into the bedroom) Me: (I shout out) Put on a cute nightie. Wife: What? Me: A cute nightie. Wife: What are you talking about? Me: (expression on my face) Are you serious??!! Wife: I don't know what you mean? Me: T-shirt and panties will work!!! She comes out of the bedroom wearing flannel pjs. Wife: What were you talking about? Me: Never mind. Now we're half way through the movie and haven't said a word to each other. She puts the movie on pause and says... Wife: What's Q90? Me: I have no idea. Why? What is it? Wife: You told me to put on Q90. Me: (laughing) I didn't say Q90, I said CUTE NIGHTIE! We both get a good laugh out of it and watch the rest of the movie all cuddled up. That was years ago, to this day we still laugh about Q90. |
Today my wife leaves the office for a late lunch and phones me
Wife: Red, it's 105 in the car! Me: You sure? it doesn't seem that hot out here Wife: Oh wait, it's 1:05...PM |
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