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-   -   After 21 years... she's leaving (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?t=917495)

LeeH 06-09-2016 06:53 AM

After 21 years... she's leaving
 
Most, but not all of our mutual friends on Pelican already know this...

My wife and I have been married for 21 years. Things haven't always been perfect, but I thought they were pretty good. She came home from her 2.5 months of 747 training in Miami and announced she'd been happier without me and felt the opposite as soon as she returned home.

I tried to give her everything she ever wanted and have been her biggest supporter/cheerleader in all of her endeavors. We had our differences. I worked hard to accept them as such... differences, not things that needed to be changed or fixed. Sadly, I don't think she was able to get to the same place.

I'll refrain from going into details of our history, but after hanging out with you lot for the past 16 years felt the need to post the news here.

stomachmonkey 06-09-2016 06:57 AM

Sorry Lee.

I sincerely hope that happier days are in store for you.

Reg 06-09-2016 06:57 AM

Sorry to hear Lee. Hoping for good things down your path ahead.

aap1966 06-09-2016 06:58 AM

Mate,
Sorry to hear that.
Nothing we say will make any difference to how you feel.
Might sound trite, but the phrase "When you're going through hell, keep going" has helped me at times.

A930Rocket 06-09-2016 06:59 AM

Sorry to hear this Lee. I hope it opens up new doors for you.

KNS 06-09-2016 07:01 AM

Crap - of all the bomb shells. Hang in there.

IROC 06-09-2016 07:05 AM

I've been through a divorce and am currently married (for almost 14 years) and I always hate to hear this stuff. It sounds like you did the right thing, though - you were supportive did your best. You can't ask for more than that.

Good luck and hang in there. It gets better.

recycled sixtie 06-09-2016 07:08 AM

I like the suggestion above if in hell keep going. Lee you have my sympathy. I have been through this 32 years ago. It will get better for you. This sounds trite but would suggest counselling. This is a tough time but you will get through this....

tabs 06-09-2016 07:12 AM

If the gears do not mesh no use in trying to force it into gear. Better to move on, even if you have to suck up the pain and loss. No one ever promised you a happy life. You have to play the cards as dealt.

LakeCleElum 06-09-2016 07:13 AM

Very sorry to hear this Lee. I'm sure you tried your best. For some, you best isn't enough for them. If it helps, I was there almost 30 years ago.

Take it one day at a time. Take the high road in your final chapter with her. Don't rush into any new relationships.

herr_oberst 06-09-2016 07:13 AM

Hooo, boy. Just awful news, Lee.

Hang in there.

gacook 06-09-2016 07:26 AM

Sorry to hear it, Lee. More "hollow" words that you may not want to hear at this point...but everything happens for a reason. Hoping for much brighter days in your future, sir.

widgeon13 06-09-2016 07:40 AM

Sorry to hear this, don't quite know what to say.

Sounds like you worked at it as much as you could, tough call.

DonDavis 06-09-2016 07:40 AM

Well, as I mentioned last weekend at Comicon, keep moving forward. This too, shall pass.

I've known you nearly 14 years and I know how much you dedicated yourself to your family. Anyone that knows your daughter can clearly see the fruits of your efforts. She's impressive, intelligent and very beautiful.
The next 10 years of her life are going to be a LOT of fun. Keep that fresh in your mind.

You? Well, you're fit, you run, you're kinda bright. And, when you're ready, I have zero doubt you will be able to get at least 1 or 2 dates...maybe 3 if you play your cards right.

Maybe it's time to get back into a Porsche. Just sayin'.

Call/text me any time you want.

scottmandue 06-09-2016 07:41 AM

So sad to hear this, stay close to your friends.
To be brutally honest there are times when I wonder if my marriage is going to survive.

Seahawk 06-09-2016 07:58 AM

Wow.

Please take the time to take care of yourself.

Shadetree930 06-09-2016 08:01 AM

Bad news, but a lot of us have been there. People change/grow over time and what they want is different than what they wanted many years ago.

As grim as things may seem right now, you may find down the road that it was the best thing to happen to you.

There is a whole 2nd chapter of your life about to open up.

pavulon 06-09-2016 08:07 AM

been there. done that. got the expensive and crummy T-shirt. sucks.

would encourage you to continue talking about the experience. daylight is the best disinfectant. :(

Craig T 06-09-2016 08:09 AM

I'm very sorry Lee. I went through this as well. Just remember, life is very short...Too short to spend any more time than necessary with somebody who doesn't appreciate and love you for who you are, or visa versa.

My first wife said something similar to me me after 7 years of marriage. For the next three years I gave up my soul giving her control and trying to make her happy. It still wasn't enough and we divorced at 10 years. In hind sight, I wish I'd left the day she started complaining, just tore it off quickly like a hard stuck bandage no matter how hard it hurt. Three years of life wasted.

craigster59 06-09-2016 08:15 AM

^^^^ Very good advice from Craig T. Sorry to hear Lee.


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