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-   -   Divorce present (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?t=950106)

Crowbob 03-20-2017 05:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Ro (Post 9518178)
What we've seen here over and over again is a one-sided story.
.
BTW, there are good and not-so-good in every walk of life, in every profession - including the psych community.
I've witnessed it myself first hand - as a client/patient (I finally learned what to look for in a therapist) and then as a crisis center co-director and co-counselor for 4 years.
Here's my short and sweet take on so many of the cases in which I was involved:
.
Husband: "What's he got that I don't?"
Wife: "Self-awareness."
Husband: "What's that?"
.
Some women will hang on for years and years hoping for a change that they never see on the horizon.
Someone comes along and the woman finally decides to save herself - her life.
She goes for it.
Go ahead - beat her up for it.
Ok.

Saving herself is one thing. Destroying everything and disrupting everyone in her path to discovery is totally unjustifiable. I will beat up anyone who does that. If ever there were a one-sided story (which is extremely unlikely) the divorce racket is it. Any 'self-aware' divorce lawyer (which is extremely unlikely) will admit it, too. They know it, they learn it and they play it.

billybek 03-20-2017 05:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WPOZZZ (Post 9518177)
Just take a nice vacation for a month or two or six to Thailand.
Remember the two kids and one horse thing? It would be expensive to ship the horse to Thailand!!!;)

Maybe the first therapist wasn't your cup of tea, but maybe think about doing some family counselling. Your kids must feel pretty crappy about themselves thinking they might be to blame for their mom jumping ship.

I agree with those who have advised you to wait until the deal is done before buying a toy.

Crappy situation. Sincerely hope you and your family are doing OK.

berettafan 03-20-2017 05:44 AM
Don Ro brings some needed perspective to this thread.

OP your soon to be ex probably believes you were blind for years. She likely is counting on you continuing to be blind. whatever happens do NOT become the whiney 'why me'?' ***** I see so many guys who were surprised by divorce become. have a client like that. first few times he talked about the separation I felt for him. after a year he was still whining and I was like no wonder she left you dude, you have zero spine and nil self respect! spending money ain't gonna fix anything and is emotionally the same thing as a bitter old fat woman buying tubs of ice cream and watching old movies. it's self destructive and will attract the wrong kind of woman to you.

1990C4S 03-20-2017 05:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grog (Post 9517882)
If I have any money left I was thinking of getting a divorce present for me.
Practical advice here (from an experienced person).

Settle all your divorce issues before you dream about a new car.

Presuming you do have some money left in your pocket, a 996 C4 is a practical all weather car.

slow&rusty 03-20-2017 05:57 AM
When my ex left me in 2004 I bought a 930 for myself, I have to say my relationship with this German with wider hips has been simply blissful.

sc_rufctr 03-20-2017 06:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by slow&rusty (Post 9518263)
When my ex left me in 2004 I bought a 930 for myself, I have to say my relationship with this German with wider hips has been simply blissful.
And she'll never cheat on you and only go up in value. ;)

bickyd 03-20-2017 08:08 AM
Mr Grog. this is easy. forget the shrinks. let go of the woman. Your head is on straight. hers is not. buy the car and just be happy. you did your job and your healthy man. it does not need to be any more complicated than that. congratulations sir . your free.

Arizona_928 03-20-2017 08:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by red-beard (Post 9518106)
hookers and blow?
+1

Charles Freeborn 03-20-2017 08:50 AM
If it's to be a DD, I'd go with the Focus and build it, but keep it looking stock (aka - Sleeper). It'll be the least expensive to maintain over the years.
Bummer of a story - as said, focus on living well and let the past go.

t-tom 03-20-2017 08:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bickyd (Post 9518417)
Mr Grog. this is easy. forget the shrinks. let go of the woman. Your head is on straight. hers is not. buy the car and just be happy. you did your job and your healthy man. it does not need to be any more complicated than that. congratulations sir . your free.
This is the best advice on here! Just live you're life and be happy.

pwd72s 03-20-2017 08:56 AM
Where is Deuller now that Grog could really use his experience and advice?

varmint 03-20-2017 09:01 AM
The divorced guy with the mustang is kind of a cliche. I'm not saying don't do it, but you should be aware.

Have you considered spending the money on some sort of adventure? Skydivin, climb Everest, run with the bulls, etc. something that will make you a more interesting person to women than just a nice car.

pwd72s 03-20-2017 09:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by varmint (Post 9518480)
The divorced guy with the mustang is kind of a cliche. I'm not saying don't do it, but you should be aware.

Have you considered spending the money on some sort of adventure? Skydivin, climb Everest, run with the bulls, etc. something that will make you a more interesting person to women than just a nice car.
Let's see, I bought a Mustang, still married, 42 years now.

kach22i 03-20-2017 09:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grog (Post 9518054)
I would be perfectly happy to live in a shop that has an a living space. Just me and my cars.
Hire me to design you what is called a "Carriage House".;)

This is a Porsche forum, gotta favor the brand.

Will you be using the truck for the worst of winter?

Seahawk 03-20-2017 10:08 AM
Your children are in their 20's since they are through college...still living at home.

What do they think?

gsxrken 03-20-2017 06:05 PM
Sympathies.
I hate these sort of stories. It would be one thing if they were about the end of a crummy loveless marriage, but more often than not the guys sounds like they had no clue and get completely blindsided. Are we just oblivious or do the women really just snap?

I'm in a great 20+ year marriage. As far as I know.

Don Ro 03-20-2017 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gsxrken (Post 9519289)
Sympathies.
I hate these sort of stories. It would be one thing if they were about the end of a crummy loveless marriage, but more often than not the guys sounds like they had no clue and get completely blindsided. Are we just oblivious or do the women really just snap?

I'm in a great 20+ year marriage. As far as I know.
"As far as I know."
~~~~~~`
Hilarious! :D
.
.
My experience >>> most women will verbalize, and if not they'll communicate their dissatisfaction in some way, and most men will disregard or minimize the issue(s).
Until...............................
.
Many men tend to mistake Humility and vulnerability for inferiority.
Hard-wired to not easily get off their (ego) position and go into a state of admission and ownership.
Thus they don't learn conflict resolution...thinking that to do so means becoming powerless, inferior.

Dixie 03-20-2017 06:27 PM
Better days are coming.
My ex-wife did pretty much the same as yours. I'll skip the details, but I made out like a bandit. The key is, In SC an affair leading to the dissolution of a marriage precludes any alimony. I kept the house, my truck, and the Porsche. I gave the ex a boat load of money. She has no room to complain. Because of the divorce I learned to put myself first. I rediscovered myself, dated scores of women, and did many things I've always wanted. Finally met my new wife. This one is stunningly pretty. On top of that she has Masters degree, and a great job. She's a bit younger than I, but doesn't mind. Anyway, I sold the Porsche, and bought another dream car of mine. A viper.
Better days are coming.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1490059626.jpg

RKDinOKC 03-20-2017 06:40 PM
The women out there like the Corvettes. Just sayin.

onevoice 03-21-2017 06:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Ro (Post 9517956)
Why not take some of that money, research an astute therapist, and find out what it is about you that a woman (wife) of 26 years would want to leave?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Ro (Post 9518178)
.
Some women will hang on for years and years hoping for a change that they never see on the horizon.
Someone comes along and the woman finally decides to save herself - her life.
She goes for it.
Go ahead - beat her up for it.
You are either an idiot or a woman, or both:rolleyes:

Why is it a woman's job to "hang on for years" instead of making a POSITIVE change. Running out on her husband is one thing, leaving her own kids is proof positive she is crazy. No ones behavior MAKES THEIR SPOUSE CHEAT

These divorce stories make me sick, and they repeat over and over. Wife goes midlife crazy, gets aggressive lawyer, takes nice guy husband to cleaners. Happened to my best friend, known him since 1st grade, nicest guy on planet, cheating whore wife ended up with everything.


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