Godamm Telemarketers....

[Milu]

According to my mood I either

Keep them waiting on the line

Jerk them around or try to sell them something

Put a finger in each ear and and blow a referee's whistle down the phone at them. (I hate my neighbours anyway)

[True Brit]

We had a TM ring us a while ago trying to sell us replacement UPVC windows. Now we live in a 600-year-old cottage.....so I asked them if they could do them in that style. To which she answered, "Oh, so you're a snob are you?" and put the phone down on me.

I must admit she was right.

Originally posted by tmctguer
i use telemarketing calls as an opportunity to do crank calling in reverse. usually, my wife hangs up on them. but if i get them, i do all i can to mess with them. in the past, i've:

2). sent sears on a wild goose chase to find my trailer in the middle of a nearby county in CA. i gave them real highways for awhile, then started making them up. i ended up with a description of a cattle guard they must cross, but warned them to honk when they find my trailer due to my very mean pit bull. the dumb*****s called me back 2 days later because they aluminum siding rep couldn't find my trailer. i made up awhole new set of directions. they never called back.

LOL thanks for brightening up my boring work day



I know how you all feel. I usually just say that I'm not interested and hang up, but sometimes they annoy me so much that I say something like; oh yeah, and your product is the world's 8th wonder and it's going to make me sooo rich and it's almost free!? But I already bought the world's 8th wonder from the 5 other guys that phoned me earlier today...

They usually pause after I say that because their manual doesn't say what to do when a costumer says something like that.

[Planter91C2]

les paul guy,

there are alot more important things in life to be concerned about besides telephone calls.


when i get a call i am always polite. those people who aren't usually have some other problem in their lives.

[bpcsguru]

I like to goof with them as well. We have a second phone line in the house that I only use for dial-up. So when the phone rings, I know its a telemarketer. I usually answer the phone with "city morgue, can I help you?" or "Gay and Lesbian hotline, whatzzup baby?" That shuts them up fast.

Boris

[tight as a bull's ass]

Originally posted by Planter91C2
les paul guy,

there are alot more important things in life to be concerned about besides telephone calls.


when i get a call i am always polite. those people who aren't usually have some other problem in their lives.

wow, there are lots of options out there.

Planter91C2,

You're right. Up to this point, I have just asked them to remove my number from their list....

But you have to understand when you're in the middle of dinner or doing something else only to be interrupted by a TM solicitor, that gets to be intrusive.

LOL on your stories.....Chicken plucker making $12,000 a year??? hmmm....i might try that next time...

[Jdub]

I just want to know when humility and manners went out the window for the Almighty Buck. When my telephone became no longer a connection to family and friends but instead an intrusive marketing tool planted in my home.

Now you can be "hidden" from the people you call. If you don't like that, you can buy something that hides you from the hidden callers, automatically refusing these calls.

You have to admire the ingenuity of it all. Without any government interference the baby Bells and whatnot have managed to gain "tack-on" costs to "help" us manage our newly unmanageable phones.

Solution?: Get a cell phone and route all personal calls to it.

John

[Z-man]

I had a TM call once trying to sell home security systems. I asked, "How do I know that you're not a burglar trying to find out if I have a security system currently?" Then I hung up.

Four things I have done that have helped tremendously: I get about 1-2 calls a month, and my 'solutions' have cost nothing:
1. I do the "Put me on your do not call list" when they call.
2. I request my name/phone list be taken off their "List of numbers to sell to other TM's" list.
3. If I get a second call from a certain company within a short time, I immediately request to speak with a manager, and threaten them with "I'm calling the Better Business Bureau if you call me once more!"
4. I never, NEVER put my phone number in any form/application/survey. I always say it is unlisted. If they require a phone number, I give my work number. (They must have screens there....) Putting your number down in one of these surveys is like asking for TM's to call you!

Take these steps, and you're TM calls will definately go down.

Now, if Ed McMan wants to get a hold of me, my number is: 555-1234!

BTW: before the elections in November here in NJ, I received a recorded message from a certain George W. Bush endorsing the republican candidate Bret Schundler. I won't erase it off my answering machine: I mean how often do you get a personal call from the president of the United States?

-Zoltan.

[gaijinda]

I am usually not "home".

If I get a call in the evening, I tell them "He" is not home and to call back during the day. I am never home durning the day...

If it sounds legitimate, and I then realize its a sales call, then I say "I'm Jr., call back during the day, my Dad will be home then".

[Iggy]

My wife thinks I'm nuts, but I'm another one of the crowd that likes to mess with telemarketers.

If it's a re-finance company, I love trying to engage the phone jockeys in serious financial discussions, asking their opinions on market fluctuations and impacts. It's pretty amusing since they don't know what to say if it's not on their script card.

Most of the time, I just say nothing and hang up immediately, but every once in a while I get a spark of nastiness. Recently, while waiting for the telemarketer to take a breath, I screamed that I had just cut my finger off and needed them to tell me what to do. After a minute of hysterics, I just hung up.

[JEB]

My favorite is from the Jerky Boys (I think) who did a whole comedy album of goofing on telemarketers:

Telemarketer calls from a Cleaning Service

Jerky boy in really anxious voice: "Boy am I glad you called...can you get blood out?"

TM: "Uh, yea sure"

JB: "I mean like a lot of blood - oh sh** - its like like everywhere - sh** what am I going to do - curtains, wall, rug - how fast can you get here?"

Goes on and leads them to believe he killed his wife

TM: Really getting upset "What is your address .. . OK we will be right over"

The police showed up 15 min later - they didn't think it was very funny.


It is a hoot - my all time favorite.

Jeb
'79 930

[Reg]

I have not read all the posts here ...but I should say that over the past week, I have had the same phone number call my house numerous times. Chek that 7 times in the last 2 weeks!!

I have been home of answer it a few times and each time there has been no one there to answer the call.

I say "hello" and there is nothing!

My curiousity had me phone the number to see what was the deal or who was calling me

416 256 6481


call this number and listen! sheeeeeeesh.

I just checked my Call Display and they phoned me yet again this AM!!!

[cstreit]

THere is a device that came out to help reduce these calls. When it receives an incoming call, it emits a tone back that fools the computers calling that the number is disconnected.

Accoring to the local news, it's transparent to normally dialed calls and reduced Tm instances by more than 50%

[tight as a bull's ass]

phone company tm protection fee, devices, and such....ouch!

i think the point here is that I shouldnt have to pay these "extra" costs to have TM stop calling me. There are already enough ridiculous surchargers, fees, and taxes on these phone bills....i dont need another 2 bucks tacked on, it all adds up.


Sometimes it's the same phone companies that offer these TM protection plans that do the calling. it's all business as usual...

[Pillow]

I am about 50/50 fun/hang up.

If I am busy I hang up when I know it is a TM by the pause before getting hooked up.

When I am bored I usually try to waste thier time or just end up having a good chat with them. The college students are a blast to talk to! I once got a call from Playboy subscription service by a young lady from Colorado of all places and we chatted for like 30 minutes. Pretty fun stuff.

The credit card and re-fi people are the ones that piss me off! I always try and negotiate the deal with them to no avail since they cannot change the terms themselves. Also I end up wasting my breath explaining the financial outlook and what it would take to make a deal and compare thier rates to others.

The one that irks me a little bit is the Fraternal Order Of Police charity calls. We give to them, but it is an outsourced group who will not send information in the mail or on a website, I hate to give information over the phone but have for them and it is legitimate. This probably varies depending on where you are in the world, when I was a kid the fireman and police would call themselves.

[Ted Stringer]

someone may have already said this, but a modem does wonders. The carrier signal is about as loud as you can get (defening) on a phone line, and most tms use a headset. This usually works as no one likes to get their ear blown off.

[patalive]

Originally posted by Pillow
I am about 50/50 fun/hang up.


The one that irks me a little bit is the Fraternal Order Of Police charity calls. We give to them, but it is an outsourced group who will not send information in the mail or on a website, I hate to give information over the phone but have for them and it is legitimate. This probably varies depending on where you are in the world, when I was a kid the fireman and police would call themselves.

When I get calls from the Police (city, county and state) and the firemen, I immediately asked why they have their caller ID blocked (they usually do in our area) - I ask them how can I trust them - - are they really who they say they are? Police blocking the caller ID!
-
Then I ask them what percentage of my donation goes to administration of the chartiy. The last police group that called said that something like 89 percent goes to admin and ONLY 11 percent goes to the actual charity recipients! I told the joker his group was a ripoff and hung up!-

Chuck

[tmctguer]

heck, i have goofed on the fraternal order of police, too.

i once told that caller that i would be happy to give money to their worthy cause except for the fact that i was an old black man who had been detained and beat up by the LA police for for no reason. ("damn cops arrested me for nothing, then whooped my *ss........now you want my money, too? what, you need to pay for more *ss whoopin's or something??)

the caller went into this huge apology mode. i think he finally hung up because he felt guilty. that ranked up there with the poor sears aluminum siding callback !

[dheinz]

38 out of the last 50 calls on caller I D ,seven day time span, were "out of area" telemarketers.My wife lets the answering machine do its job. 99% of telelmarketers hang up at the sound of the answerer.I like to here the beginning of the pitch but usually end up laying the phone down and walk away.
Z-man,thanks for the tip about phone # on applications or surveys.
tmctguer- LOL Great stories
Blueskyjaunt- Thanks for the telemarketer torture link.

[H20911]

the manager thing is great but there is also a new thing from that is called the tella-zapper (or something close) that once pressed... it fools the computer that is generating the incoming call into thinking the line is no longer in service and it will never call again. It then drops the number from the data base.

sold at Radio shack.... about 50 bucks. My wife and I were looking at it last night to buy for a Christmas gift for someone that has the manager. It turns out that they like the manager, so no need.
steve