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Let's Help Wayne Out With Ideas for "101 Projects for Your Cayenne"

I think we should help Wayne get started on this book right now before somebody else does it. This book is potentially a huge money maker since you can obviously sell the Cayenne owner anything and charge a huge amount for it. It will probably get PelicanParts a 12 page article in Forbes.

To get the ball rolling, here a few ideas that should target the audience's level of competency:

1. Adding air to the tires on your own. Time= 1 hour; Difficulty level = 5; Cost: $27 ($5 tip to gas station attendant to instruct use of air hose; $20 dry cleaning for rustic-looking wool gabardine pants; $2 for latex exam gloves to protect manicure)

2. Getting Coffee While Someone Else Changes Your Oil. Time = 1 hour, Difficulty Level = 3; Cost $125 (Visit to doctor's office to ensure you are OK after having learning that you consumed non-designer brand of coffee in the waiting room = $120, Bottle of Pepto Bismol = $5)

3. Modifying Cup Holder to Accomodate Mega Grande Latte. Time:4 hours, Difficulty Level 7; Cost = $700 (Porsche Upgrade Coffee Holder Kit = $300, Custom fitted overalls with embroidered Porsche crest = $200; Neiman-Marcus signature screwdriver set = $100; Massage Therapist to massage aching limp wrist = $100)

4. Installing Floor Mats. Time: 2 hours, Difficulty level 4; Cost = $450 (Porsche Factory Mats $200; Feng-Shui Consultant to assist with color choice and alignment = $250)

5. Installing Radar Detector: Time = 2 hours, Difficulty level =4, Cost = $1120 (Radar Detector = $100, Cell phone call to Stuttgart for help in locating cigarette lighter under camoflaged plug = $20; payment to local police department resulting from test to ensure radar detector is working $300, Net present value of 5 year increase in insurance rates resulting from test = $700)

6. Upgrading GPS Software: Time 6 hours; Difficulty Level 9; Cost = $600 (Worldwide Starbuck's locations Software = $120; Worldwide Peet's Coffee locations Software = $180; Spa Locator Software = $200; Polo Club Registry Software = $100;

7. Installing Lacrosse Stick Holder: Time 4 hours; Difficulty Level 8; Cost = $675 (Porsche Techquipment Lacrosse Stick Holder Kit = $500, Neiman Marcus Signature Screwdriver Set (exclude if already purchased for cup holder project) = $100; Color coordinated calfskin mechanic's gloves = $75)

8. Adding Windshield Washer Fluid: Time 6 hours; Difficulty Level 10; Cost = $2650 (Complete Set of Porsche Service manuals for Cayenne = $800; biohazard 4 level containment suit (just in case of fluid spill) = $1400; Porsche Design titanium framed protective eye glasses = $400, Scented Non-Toxic, Environmentally Sensitive Sierra Club Approved Washer Fluid (aka distilled water) = $50/12 ounces.

Please add your ideas -- We can make Wayne a millionaire!

Rich

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Old 11-01-2002, 02:35 PM
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9) Fitting low compression piston & cylinder set, small valves, mild cam and turbo bypass kit.

Difficulty level 12

Cost $12,000 parts, $20,000 to equip home workshop, $2,000 car hire during upgrade, $200 tow to OPC, $8000 for OPC to repair damage, replace lost parts and finish the job.

Benefit: gets rid of that nasty violent acceleration.
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Old 11-02-2002, 01:29 PM
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how about:

1) selling the stock Cayenne interior and retrofitting it for racing

2) installing a roll cage and racing seats

3) lifting the suspension

4) lowering the center of gravity

5) off-road driving tips

obin
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Old 11-04-2002, 11:33 AM
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10. Drivers Education. Includes proper technic for left hand index finger steering at the mall parking lot whilst holding a steaming hot cup of Starbucks.



Good stuff there Rich.

Thanks I needed a good chuckle.

Bobby

Last edited by Bobboloo; 11-15-2002 at 03:33 AM..
Old 11-15-2002, 03:27 AM
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Inari77S
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ROTFL

Thanks
Old 12-11-2002, 03:54 AM
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Rich911E man now your making me want to work for Porsche on Cayenne's, boy those book hours would make me rich!!! lol..
Old 12-17-2002, 11:04 PM
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Wayne,
Don't forget the most important project of all!
Project 101

Lease Turn-In
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Old 12-31-2002, 10:36 AM
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101 projects


only one in the book.

(1. Drive Cayenne back to dealership and trade it for a 996.
Old 01-16-2003, 09:41 AM
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Too funny . . .hope no one minds but I had to post that to PPBB (Pete's Porsche Boxster Board)

Cheers!

Old 01-28-2003, 09:10 PM
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