Starter Bendix Solenoid problem

[percious]

Here is the full story.

Recently, I have replaced the flywheel and clutch in my car. While I was in there, I thought it was a good idea to replace the starter, since mine has been skipping out every 4th or 5th start.

I have a 93 318is. The original starter is a Marelli.

The replacement starter is a bosch SR0448X. This is my second try at the starter, as the first one failed. It appears to me that the Bendix is staying activated, and therefore turns with the engine even after I have started. This causes a problem, as the starter overheats, and eventually fails.

My first thought is to find the starter relay, and test that it turns off when the ignition turns off, but I have not been able to locate it, even with my Bentley manual in hand.

Has anyone had problems like this with OEM starters? Help!

-percious