We are not talking paying customers. We are talking "friends" who appear only when they need something.

Then we you need a return favor they are no where to be found.

Advertising? Lol! I never used yellow pages or print advertising.

In the 90's when first starting out. I made flyers, visited potential clients and got them to try me. Then gave them amazing service. Word of mouth is what I live on.

I have not advertised at all since 1997.



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I have a small circle of friends who have my back and vice versa.

Same with a handful of clients.

Everyone else falls into a different category.

The thing is....I only have so much time in a day - in the rest of my lifetime.

Let's just say from this point forward, I'm going to spend it more wisely.

Doesn't mean I'll stop being helpful....to those who deserve and need it.

Them - can you do it in your spare time?

Me - I don’t have spare time. I have time when I earn a living, and I have time when I recharge my batteries

What was the final straw Baz?

Hey Rod.....

That's a really great question and thanks for asking.

To be honest more than anything I think it was my birthday earlier this month that really helped me step back and take a long look at some things.

I've never been a big celebration guy on my birthdays anyway - more of a reflective type mantra.

And a lot of stuff has been accumulating in my head leading up to this - you know - various episodes consisting of all the stuff that's been posted already in the thread.

More than anything - I think about time.

Time is the one thing we can never get back and it really does fly, as they say....it really does.

For me, I have a lot of personal stuff I never seem to have time for. Stuff that I care deeply and passionately about. Then there's also the stuff I need to do to keep the homestead up...including my 4 legged furballs....who for the most part are low maintenance, but they are all getting a little older now and we only have so much more time left - and I don't want to squander that precious time.

I also have a wonderful 96 year old Mom who also lives in NSB, whom I want to spend more time helping and visiting. Move her up on the list, so to speak.

I will continue to try and be a decent person to everyone of course and help where possible but am simply shifting priorities and along with that saying goodbye to those who I deem to be unworthy of my time anymore.

Sorry if that sounds callous.

I have an older brother in West Palm Beach who is retired and volunteers at the local food bank. They stay very busy and it's astounding how much assistance they provide. A some point when I get further along with shrinking that hamster wheel, I hope to get involved with something like that. Maybe doing some Thanksgiving and/or Christmas work for those in need.

I hope that helps answer your question and sheds a little more light on the whole situation.

I think we all have to take a few minutes every once in a while and re-think the big picture. That's all....

what a great reply, it echo's my sentiments exactly

I've just worked my last day for my first client, they tried very hard to keep me working for them, more money, less hours, new interesting, exciting, challenging projects etc

I get up most mornings wanting to go to work, I'm very lucky I enjoy the work I do, enjoy spending time with the people I work with so it wasn't an easy decision leaving.

As I found out last year, life is short, very short and you only get one go at it, in my lucky case I'm get another go and this time will go about it slightly differently.

Everyone else's projects are always the most important priority but I'm putting my priorities first and taking a good break from their work, won't be resting but doing my work for me.

I've already been asked to call them first when I'm ready, as my client has been good to me I will do that but I don't feel any obligation to make them my first choice.

If they call me and ask for a few days of my help, I will of course be there to help as they helped me when I needed help.

Life is give and take, if the take side is too unbalanced then I'll stop my giving

As you get older you reach a point where the light bulb goes off and you decide it's " me time " . Happens at various ages but eventually does happen . It's OK to be a little selfish and key in one number one........... YOU ! Doesn't mean you have to be a SOB to everyone but your tolerance for stupid $hit is MUCH lower.......... again that's OK . I reached that point last December when I retired . It's all good......... now get off my lawn ! :D

Funny, I don't see the word "friends" anywhere in the OP's post.

Hey Baz,

This was pretty much what I thought you were going to reply after reading your other comments.

What I get you are saying is personal priorities and time is flying by so fast.


My mother passed recently and I am thinking the same way.

Time is seen as in years now and not days like when we were younger. Our lives are just a flash in the pan so grasp out of it what you want.


Spend more time with your mother and doing things that give you personal fulfillment Baz.

When big fat Tom moved back to Pa, from South Carolina, he was asking for help moving via FB. He is 350+ pounds, and not in great health, but a good guy that I went to high school with .
Right away, I offered up my trucks and my son, and our backs to help him out.
He declined, and said he already had a few other people lined up to help. 3 days before his move, no one is stepping up to the plate, so he contacts me again .
My son and I show up, along with one other guy from Tom's Church, and we move all his stuff .
This was 3 years ago.
I just blew off my 30 year high school re-union last month, but I was looking at pictures of it on FB.
I saw Tom , and 2 other people that I have helped out recently sitting at a table together with a few other faces I have not seen in 30 years now.
Wouldn't you know it, I got 2 contacts in the last few weeks asking for help with their cars, and one girl, ( hottest girl in class of 88') needs help moving , and help with her car . She married the high school football star. She now has cancer, he left her for a younger model, and she is sickly, all alone, with 3 daughters and facing eviction .
Guess who they contacted.
I am going to help, but I have to wonder in my head. My business was 3 miles from her house for 20 years. Never once in all that time did they patronize me . But now they need some free help .
I'm still going to pay it forward, and make my lazy 12 year old son help me with it because it is the right thing to do.
I messaged a few old high school friends, Ill be anxious to see if any body else is willing to lend a hand.
Do you think it would be uncool to tell her she was my dream girl in 11-12 th grade ?

You are a great man Fred!

+1

You're a good man, Fred!
.
When my BIL (a home builder) was still alive (late '90s) he'd leave the North Dakota winter and fly down to Mesa, AZ to be employed by an RV center...setting up mobile homes and RVs.
Just about every week my sister (3 yrs. older than me) would call to chat for hours...and I mean hours (it seemed)..
Once the ND spring would arrive, he'd fly back. I'd never hear from her again until the next winter.
Not a birthday or a holiday card, even...a "Thank you" note, nothing.
My brother, also a ND resident, said the same.
.
Psychological usury.

^^^ Don Ro.......

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/48/4852...5114f9a4df.jpg

Had to breathe some new life into my thread.

Had three clients send requests for me to help them today. One has always bent over backwards to compensate me - most of the time ADDING extra $ to my invoice. The other two are terrible about getting money from - even though I have helped them with plenty of stuff at no charge - never an offer of anything - even to 'help with gas' or 'my time'. Even on stuff that I bill them for - it's like a crow bar is needed to loosen their freaking wallets.

I went over to the first cleint's house and fixed what was needed today and sent the other two an offer to do so with an agreed upon service charge of $50 plus parts. In both cases I gave them some info they could use to do what was needed themselves without me. One was re-programming their irrigation timer and the other was replacing some landscape lighting bulbs.

The one with the lighting said to come and she will pay me - although she was puzzled by the request for the $50 - because "I had never charged her before".

The other person I have not heard from - maybe they can figure it out themself. I hope so.

If either one of these last two clients had EVER flipped me a $10 or $20 - just once - I wouldn't hesitate to run by and help without any obligation.

Am I butthurt or just looking out for myself?

Nope, I have no problem with what you did.

There is nothing wrong with looking out for yourself and indeed with some people, it is your fault if you don't.

When our daughter took up with loser boyfriend number whatever, I took an instant dislike to him, as I recognized his sponging type. I was careful never to offer any monetary support, although he raised the subject several times in various ways. He is out of her life now, but is the father of the delightful five year old who we are raising.

I find the best policy is to never make an offer with expectation of compensation from "friends"

Best
Les

I spent some time in corporate sales and remember one of the things they stressed is people like to spend money on stuff because it makes them feel like they are getting something.

The point they were trying to make - you are helping your clients/customers feel good when you charge them for something.

Of course the key to that working is you have to make sure they not only get a good value but they are made aware of it....something that sometimes has to be verbalized.

I feel I have always bent over backwards to provide value with my product and services.

Some get it and some don't.

LOL....I've been at this longer....methinks my tolerance just got a bit too low lately....it's YOUR fault :)!

I too was thinkin' of Don Ro earlier...hope he's well.

GF and I have a number of rental homes each. I do repairs etc to all of them plus mow the lawns, do the gardens and stuff. I helps me unofficially keep an eye on the properties and the tenants.

I'd done a day's work on GFs place and she was very "Oh yeah, oh yeah" about it. I said anyone else would take me out for dinner or at least say THANKS. She refused to say thanks for some bizarre reason and said she would hire someone to do the lawns in future. WTF. All she had to say was thanks, but it was such a little person's job mowing lawns, it wasn't even worth a thanks.

So these people/clients are asking for your help, on a day you're not normally there for routine service, for little things like replacing light bulbs and reprogramming an automatic sprinkler timer, and they're surprised there's an added $50 fee (on top of parts)? Being in the service industry, how are you supposed to make a living by not making any money on your labor?