No more freebies or bending over backwards....that's it......
 

I have always tried to be helpful, in particular in the field of my occupation...landscaping, irrigation, and low voltage lighting.

Anyone in the trades fully understands that over the years you end up in a gazillion situations where you can help others out - beyond regular business practices.

After going the extra mile plus a whole bunch of my time spent that I will never get back and in return getting a whole range of results most of which translates to zip......I'm pretty much done.

My 3 new mottos are:

1. I take care of those who take care of me.
2. Fool me once shame on you....fool me twice, shame on me.
3. No good deed goes unpunished.

I feel so strongly about this maybe I should just get those tattooed across my chest or something......:rolleyes:

I turned 64 this month and have been shrinking the hamster wheel in preparation for semi-retirement, so this new mantra falls squarely right into that old wheelhouse.

I'm not saying I'll be a real jerk or anything but for however many more years I have left I'm going to take care of my casa - and my mind, body, and spirit FIRST for a change!

This is long overdue!

/rant

Good for you but I need some help with my yard first.

Now get off of my lawn! ;)

Some people are like sponges. They will soak up all you will give them and not give anything back unless you really wring them out.

I seem to have less patience for users the older I get too.

Well said Baz.........Take care of #1, because no one else will.........

Years ago, I didn't charge friends to work on their motorcycles.....Soon, I had friends I didn't even know.........

These days, it's the same thing with company showing up.......Never ending revolving door.....I call it the "Free Resort".

You're absolutely right!

Unfortunately your item #1 is the chicken and the egg.

If you give of yourself with an expectation of return, then you're not actually giving.

But I agree it gets much more annoying after the first few thousand times it doesn't pan out.

Yes. You're right. I learned that a long time ago. I have a small circle of friends that help each other and look out for each others' backs. Like Gogar says, when I give something anymore, I don't expect anything in return. My neighbor across the road hasn't learned yet. He did some tractor & backhoe work for the people above him & charged them next to nothing. He's still waiting for that little amount of payment a month later. There are a lot of takers in the world who feel no compunction to give anything back.

Thanks guys.....obviously I'm a little fired up right now. It's been a long time coming and guess today I finally reached the tipping point.

And it's really not about the money in most cases.....sometimes a simple thank you would be nice or maybe a thank you note with a $5 bill "to cover your gas" or "buy yourself a beer, mate!" note.

I get crickets.

Enough is enough....sheesh......

Hey Baz, people like you and I get into this service business because we are excellence at what we do, and enjoy it. Way I see it, part of the business is helping people. That make us unique and people beat our doors down for help or do business with us. Since helping is just part of the deal, I never expect anything in return. Most appreciate it, some do not and think its our duty to spend time and money on them, all for free. I try and weed out those on the first meeting and don't even bother with them if I sense any difficult in working with them. Then, there's the occasional land mines you step onto and bam, it ruins your day. They appear to be super easy and nice to work with, then they turn into a pita. Get over this one, stay positive. There are lots of good people out there.

I know there are lot of bitter old trades people out there. Lots, and I know why. They have had enough siht from everyone. Don't be that guy.

Yeah, Baz, I'm with you. Jeff ^^^^ has it nailed pretty good. There are bad weeks to be sure but we all keep coming back 'cause that's what we do.

The only contractors that don't have this problem are cold hearted business people. Some actually turn out decent work. But they are far from being in love with their work. The love only the money.

This is why I had no problem giving the plumber that lives across the street an extra bit more when he came over and fixed our toilet the other day. No way I could have lifted it off the base with my back such as it is. Well I could have gotten it off and back on, but I'd be paying for doing that today for sure. He didn't want the extra, but I told him I appreciated that he was 'local' and available without an appointment as that counts in my book. He's the type that is looking out for the retired folks and not soaking them for all their worth.

In my experience it must be roughly 1 in 1000 that will ever pay back a favor.

But maybe that 1 makes it worth it....

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who classify people into types, and those who don't.
I'm of the former kind.
.
Givers and takers.
I tend to be a giver and I've reached the point where Baz is.
The issue that I've encountered is that I have to put a conscious throttle on my natural tendency to assist and give to others.
If I don't stay conscious and they demonstrate themselves to be takers, I'm victimizing myself. It's not them, it's me.
So what I've learned is to just give a little bit at first to see if they're a taker, if they're not, then I'm good.
And they're good.
.

I wish I knew how to find good tradesmen. To be honest, all I want from a tradesman is to show up on time, do a good job for a reasonable price and finish the job. In fact, I am willing to pay a premium if they do not try to cheat me. I simply cannot find them where I live. I would love to hire folks to work for me and I pay cash on the spot when the work is done. Most never show up for the appointment and I waste a day waiting around for them. My time is money too. Then they show up and see a nice house and some nice cars...and start adding zeros to the price. The last one showed up to price install of a generator (I priced the system at under $15K) and I already had the propane tank and lines run. The estimate was $65K. I rejected it as insane...then it was reduced to $45K. I opted to simply not install one. The next guy I wanted to paint my chimney with sealant. I had already purchased the materials. Bid was over $10K (he included a chimney cap which I didn't really need). I have all sorts of jobs that need done...and all simply have to wait until I can get to them myself. It is even worse for rental homes in other cities where they know they have you over a barrel. The charge is always twice as much as it should be. I get an bill twice a year for $125 from one that my property manager hires to replace the furnace air filter. I had another bid on replacing the $50 reverse osmosis tank under the kitchen sink. I did it once before myself...took about 10 min. The bid was $800. I told the property manager that I cold fly out and do the job cheaper (including air fare and hotel). I just can't afford most tradesmen who want to make a weeks pay on their half day working for me.

^^^
There's a ton of alcoholism and garden variety dysfunction in the service industry.
.
.
I was in the service industry for 34 years. I never advertised anywhere...not even on my crew trucks.
I was constantly turning down work.
My company was sought out by Sunset Magazine to submit a bid on a spec home they were building.
I asked how they got my contact info..."Word of mouth. You have a reputation."
.
Born and raised in the Midwest...strong and moral work ethic.
.
I held one contract for 15 years. Unheard of in my field. Terminated when I retired.

Like I said, there are plenty of good people out there and I have to believe that. After sometime, you learn to read people pretty well and can tell if they are genuine and do care about the type of work they do. I have done and given so much for many of my clients that they have pay me back many times over by recommend us to their friends and families. 90% of our new clients are recommended by old ones in the past ten years. My experience is that I been paid back by ten folds. Their words is worth a thousands bucks.

About en years ago, that morning, I was on my way out to a cruise to Alaska. Phone rang, an old client called and discovered her water heater quit working after 7 years ( we did a complete remodel and added on to her mid century home). Instead of asking questions, I begged my plumber to save my ass and install a new one that day. By that afternoon, all was well. Everyone was happy except my check book. It was 900 bucks lighter. I get a call weeks later asking for a bill on the heater. I said, nope, enjoy the hot showers. Since then I have done 7 more similar size projects for their friends and family. We just finished one three months ago. People know and appreciate the extra things we do for them. Once that don't, oh well. What makes it nice is that they thank my workmen and sometimes buy them lunch. Very nice gesture on their part.

Don, Were you a builder? I think I must ask you this before?

There are lots of screw ups in the trades. They do it because they have to not because they want to. An old timer ask what they hell am I doing here doing clean up in the job site installing base and case. I was just out of college so everyone older then 40 is and old timer. He knew I had a college degree and kept trying to talk me out of this sihtty job. This was a guy that would cut up a new piece of 2x6 (doesn't matter how long) for a blocking and toss the rest in the trash. Open a new box of screw and tip the box over and use only three screws and kick the rest down into the dirt. These guys edges are just a little rough, so their personality show through and after being around them for sometime, they can be read like a book.

Patience, and compassion seem to be just words in the dictionary these days. I just spent a week at an Air BnB cabin in the mountains with my elderly inlaws...i'm surprised that my patience didn't crack, most people wouldn't have bothered. my BIL was there also, and displayed many of the characteristics you just mentioned, never helping out, and being selfish, with his time, and efforts.

Baz, I have the flu so this is may be curt and not well formed.

Do and help and sacrifice for others because because that alone feels good in your heart and is the right thing to do. Never expect ROI on good deeds and you'll never be disappointed.

Helping others unconditionally may not give you any or immediate ROI. But your action may click the next day, week, week on the person you helped and they in turn help someone.

Helping someone unconditionally is the return on investment itself.

No one can take that away from you.