Bureaucrats

Three fun run-ins with bureaucrats suffused with their own self-importance:

1. Canadian border guard at Peace Arch BC asks me where I'm going in Canada. I tell her it's a vintage truck museum in Surrey BC. She asks me the address. I have it on my phone GPS, but can't get reception at the border crossing. She tells me to look for a local wifi that works. I try and try, but there are none that I can get onto. We sit for awhile while she grumbles at me for not writing the address on apiece of paper and fires off a few more questions. All while a long line of cars waits behind. She finally lets me go, but tells me to write down where I'm going on a piece of paper next time. "Yes ma'am. Have a nice day."

2. Later that same day, on the way back, the US BP guy decides he doesn't like my story--I just took a day off--a Thursday--to go to Canada? To go to a vintage truck museum? Prima facie suspicious. I tell him I have summers off. And then . . . he spots the plastic sawhorses in the back of my BMW. What the heck are those doing there? Well, I'm doing some work on my house, and they happened to be in the back. "That's it--open the trunk, Mother****er!" I comply. Hear him rooting around back there among the cases of water I've been carrying around back there for a couple days. "Water! What's all this water doing back here?" Um. I gotta admit, officer, I don't really know. I just never took it in the house after I bought it last week. He finally decides I'm not transporting terrorist water. He orders me to empty out my car next time before crossing the border. "Yes sir! Have a nice day!"

3. Building a garage behind my new place requires a permit from the burg. Regrettably, I have to remove an old cedar tree and two hemlocks to make room, and the tree guy says the city will need to approve that. I meet with a person at the planning desk. She says the tree is 80 feet from a seasonal stream, so might be considered in an environmentally sensitive area. I ask what the buffer zone is (I already know it's 50 feet). "It depends." Depends on what? No clear answer; I am left with the impression that it's at the whim of whomever is working the desk that day. They suggest a site visit. Oh boy! It happens, and whoever does it says OK to cut. May have post signs though, that says it's near an environmentally sensitive area. On my own property? Yup, she says. "Maybe." Also might have to put a notation on the land records. "Maybe." I tell her I bought the place based on earlier representations from a different planner that I could build a garage there. "Hmm. Well, nobody has a right to actually rely on what the desk people tell them. We're just advisors." OK. Have a nice day!

[GH85Carrera]

One of my favorites, really belongs to a buddy of mine. He grew up on a family farm, that his great grandfather bought as a raw piece of land. Through lots of work, and several sons, they turned it into a farm. They put in a pond for the cattle to cool off in, and they stocked it with game fish so they could fish on their own land, and they did for decades. The second generation owned the land and talked about his grandfather that still owned the land. One day the local fish and wildlife guy was driving past and had eyes of a hawk, to see the one tiny spot from the road where the pond was in view, and someone was in the middle of the pond on a rickety looking floating raft and they were fishing!

He came onto the property, and talked to the 80 year old man fishing. Told him he needed a boat license, and a fishing license to fish for the fish in his own pond. Needless to say that did not go over real well with the pond owner. Then they said he needs a life jacket, and they were going to start writing tickets. The old man kept fishing. He finally rowed back to shore to clean the fish.

In the end after a lot of bureaucrats getting huffy, the powers that be decided he had been fishing there since before the fishing licenses were needed back when he was a little boy. The raft was actually solid, and it was just in 4 feet of water, so he could stand up if he fell in. Everything was dismissed and the old man when back to fishing in peace.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Your experience at the border was the exact opposite of mine years ago. Went to Canada to pick up $5K of old 911 parts from fenders to hood to transmission, etc. All in the back of my truck, completely open. BP asks how my trip was, I say great. He looks at the bed and says have a safe trip home. What a great day!

[id10t]

Have had issues with Canadian border agents too...

When wife and I did our honeymoon cruise (several years pre-9/11), we left from Vancouver. So flew up from the US, get to Canada, the Japanese lady who could barely speak English couldn't read the wife's birth certificate, because it is in Spanish. Then she tried to claim that Puerto Rico isn't part of the United States.

[GH85Carrera]

My trip into Canada I was driving my 911 and they asked where we were going, so I told them the apple cider winery in town. Then I asked him a favor, as a dumb American tourist to please stamp our passports. He just shook his head and did it.

Coming back in was super easy, and no problems.

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by id10t

Have had issues with Canadian border agents too...

When wife and I did our honeymoon cruise (several years pre-9/11), we left from Vancouver. So flew up from the US, get to Canada, the Japanese lady who could barely speak English couldn't read the wife's birth certificate, because it is in Spanish. Then she tried to claim that Puerto Rico isn't part of the United States.

One of my former girlfriends (from long long ago) had that happen in Europe. She was from New Mexico. The agent was sure New Mexico was not part of the US.

[Sooner or later]

I only had a problem one time.

I was part of a month long corp training program with folks from all over the world. About 30 of us but only two from the US.

We had one weekend off and many in the group wanted to go to Niagara Falls. (From Akron ).

We all chipped in and rented two vans for the drive. (that were forbidden to be taken out of state ) When we got there some wanted to go over to the Canadian side. I gathered everyone up and told them that they needed to make damn sure that they could make it back once they went over.

About half decided to risk it so we loaded up and off we went. When we arrived at the gate the agent asked me what nationality.

"US, Canada, Australia, Argentina, Peru, Belgium, Great Britian, Philippines..."

"PULL THAT THING OVER!" he said.

Everyone passed, all was good.

[fastfredracing]

I crossed into Canada in a 74 vw bus with dead stickers all over it , and 4 long hairs in the back seat. They searched that mother for 2 hours while we waited . ( we left our hooch hidden on the American side in a Burger King cup under a bush ) . I think we were following Phish .
They were pretty funny about the whole thing. Not rude at all .

[legion]

Used to have this lady at the local DMV I called the "Title Nazi". You can search for my old threads on her.

My first encounter with her, I was replacing my 944S with my 951. My wife was on the title for the 944S but I didn't want her on the title for the 951 as if I decided to sell it, it meant tracking her down to sign it (this had been a hassle when I sold the 944S). She insisted that I had to have my wife on the title for the new vehicle because she was on the title for the old vehicle. I'm sure she thought she was doing my wife a favor, but she just created another headache for me when I sold the 951.

My second encounter with her, I bought a new truck in Florida and the dealership needed to contact the DMV to get it titled in Illinois. She refused to talk directly to the dealership so I had to play telephone with the dealership and the DMV over several weeks. She finally declared that the DMV did not accept incoming mail and the dealership would have to mail me the document of origin (which is against Florida law).

After that was all straightened out, I went to the DMV again and a nice new employee helped me with the title paperwork. She was almost done and I owed something like $500 in taxes and fees. Suddenly, the Title Nazi appeared from the back room, walked over to the young lady, grabbed all of the paperwork from in front of her, and said: "I'm helping you now." Suddenly the taxes and fees were $1,000 more expensive.

I am going to need a permit from the city soon for the garage, and am in the process of clearing up problems with the deck the PO put on the house that is not to code. So I have been extremely polite, given (a) the protracted amount of dealings we are going to have; and (b) I'm extremely polite by nature. I think they can smell that sort of thing, and some capitalize on it to flex their power in your face a little bit more.

[tabs]

I game systems.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by tabs

I game systems.

Yeah, right. Try gaming your local building inspector. It takes a certain type of person to cite codes all the way to inches or fractions. This conduit bonding seal or that one. This many dirt crumbs in the footing before the concrete. And so on.

**** with them and it just costs you money.

[mattdavis11]

I find this thread absolutely hilarious given the views of the op. That's what you get buddy!

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by legion

Used to have this lady at the local DMV I called the "Title Nazi". ... Suddenly the taxes and fees were $1,000 more expensive.

I had something like this happen to me with my 69E. Bought it in CA, drove it across country in 54 hours flat. In all the excitement of buying it, I hadn't realized the bottom of the title was missing. Called the seller and he wanted more money for it. So I told him to pound sand and went to the registry with it and all insurance paperwork. RMV lady looked it over and asked me about the car and we started talking about it and how she always like them, told her I'd give her a ride, she laughed. Then she gave me the registration and said the title will arrive in 2 weeks or so.

[wdfifteen]

Coming back to the US was always the worst for me. In the east it was always the last leg of a long traveling leg in Europe and the agents were never sympathetic. I usually left from CDG and the exit interviews there were polite, if a bit intimidating. Agents at Cincinnati, Atlanta, and Detroit were consistently aggressive and belligerent. I was welcomed to other countries, but never got a welcome home.
Coming back from Canada through Detroit the US agent saw the wire for my radar detector hanging from the visor. It was like she had discovered some major terrorist infiltration plot. It only got worse after they rooted through my car and didn’t find a radar detector. “If this is for a radar detector, why don’t you have a radar detector?”
“Um, because they are illegal in Canada and I didn’t want it to be confiscated.”
They let me go without taking anything, but warned me that radar detectors are illegal in Michigan. ??? I didn’t have a radar detector, (as they well knew after ransacking my car), and radar detectors weren’t illegal in Michigan. It was as if they felt obligated to give me a ration of crap, because, you know, welcome home.

[HardDrive]

Originally Posted by madcorgi

I am going to need a permit from the city soon for the garage, and am in the process of clearing up problems with the deck the PO put on the house that is not to code. So I have been extremely polite, given (a) the protracted amount of dealings we are going to have; and (b) I'm extremely polite by nature. I think they can smell that sort of thing, and some capitalize on it to flex their power in your face a little bit more.

I have 2 major construction projects under my belt in Seattle. Its been a mixed bag. The $3500 I had to pay for a 'engineering drawing' to replace underground electric in Laurelhurst was the most vile. It looked like something at kid could have done on Microsoft paint in 5 minutes. And when we finally started to dig, the ****** thing was wrong, and we ended up nicking a fiber optic cable, and finding huge decommissioned main cables. Scared the crap out of my excavator guy.

[Jeff Higgins]

I used to cross the border into Canada at least once a year, sometimes twice. With firearms. We used to shoot a two day mid-range "stage" match (200, 300, 400, 500, and 600 meters) for black powder cartridge and muzzle loading rifles at the old General Volkes Range. It's right on the north side of Mt. Baker, with beautiful views of the mountain.

I absolutely never had a lick of trouble going into Canada. This was before they passed their law requiring a "FAC" - Firearms Acquisition Certificate. I'm told, by the way, that's it's still just as easy, if you get your FAC in advance. Anyway, a typical exchange at the crossing would go like this:

"Good morning sir, what brings you to Canada?"

"I'm shooting in a rifle match this weekend at General Volkes. Here's the flyer."

"Ooh - it says 'vintage rifles prior to 1895.' What are you shooting?"

"An 1874 Sharps in .45-100." (Or whatever I had that weekend.)

"How much ammo?"

"Couple hundred rounds."

"Cool. Good luck in the match" as he hands the flyer back and sends me on my way.

That's it, that's all. Each and every time. The crossing coming back home, however, was always a big hassle. Power tripping U.S. crossing guards "welcoming" me home fer chrisakes.

"Good evening, sir, how long were you in Canada and what were you doing there?"

"I was there for the weekend, shooting a rifle match. Here's the flyer. Here's a few medals I won."

Silence. Steely glare. Starting to squint... "Does that mean you have a rifle? And ammunition?"

"Yessir, I have both."

"Please pull over there..."

Once "over there" the real grilling started. Was I sure that was the only rifle, was I sure it was the same one I went up there with, was I sure I even went up there with one, was I sure I didn't buy it in Canada, how come I have so much ammo and most of it has been fired, and on and on and on. They never took the car apart, but they threatened to so a couple of times. Total "Buford T. Justice" level ass holes. Way, way too impressed with their own authority and cleverness. But boy, they thwarted my dastardly plans to invade my own country with a 130 year old buffalo rifle...

[herr_oberst]

"Hooch" Hah! Haven't heard it called that since the '70's.

So far, my trips across the border have been OK coming and going....

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by mattdavis11

I find this thread absolutely hilarious given the views of the op. That's what you get buddy!

Ditto!

[Por_sha911]

For whatever reason the OP post reminded me of this commercial