Xmas hell

[pete3799]

I'd rather pull my fingernails off.

[cabmandone]

Look on the plus side! You gave me something to read and laugh about.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

I was extorted into going to a Christmas party

Oh Jeezus you had me laughing reading that. I really feel for you, I've been there a few times myself.


I've got an incredibly gorgeous friend, lets call her Sue. Sue invited me to her NYE party. I imagined naked blonde girls - and naked me, in and out of the hot pool, too much to drink. You know, the sort of party where you phone everyone the next day to apologize.

Well it turned out to be hearing about Timmy and how he's getting on a play school. And Miss Sarah who is only five but top of the class in.... I felt like throwing up.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

Oh Jeezus you had me laughing reading that. I really feel for you, I've been there a few times myself.


I've got an incredibly gorgeous friend, lets call her Sue. Sue invited me to her NYE party. I imagined naked blonde girls - and naked me, in and out of the hot pool, too much to drink. You know, the sort of party where you phone everyone the next day to apologize.

Well it turned out to be hearing about Timmy and how he's getting on a play school. And Miss Sarah who is only five but top of the class in.... I felt like throwing up.

THis story is almost better than WDs, but not written nearly as well.

[flatbutt]

I see that i'm rather lucky when it comes to that stuff. While hanging at Flatbutt IIs house a few weeks ago he got a call to come by their neighbors house for a gathering. All 30 somethings and me. Well I had a nice conversation with a fella who attended the same university as I am currently attending , both of us for music. Hiw wife is a ballerina and she and I talked for awhile about Balanchine vs Ailey vs Tharp (and she was smokin' hot!). Then my son and a friend started talking literature (II teaches Lit) and asked me about what I was taught in high school English class. That went on until a young sprout asked if I knew Santa Claus ( I have a very fluffy white beard). I told her I was a Santas helper and it was a big secret! I ate some decent food, drank a bit and generally had a nice time.


Of course if it had been an older crowd I probably would have been bored. I don't do well within my own age group.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by RKDinOKC

If you hate it so much...

Get uncomfortably close to someone when you talk to them. Move closer if they back away.
Talk very loudly and watch people react.
Laugh at everything they say like it is the funniest thing you have ever heard.

Have your own fun!

Just get drunk enough that this all happens naturally.

[widgeon13]

Christmas parties either result in the flu or a cold if you are lucky.

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by widgeon13

Christmas parties either result in the flu or a cold if you are lucky.

...or an STD.

[ckissick]

I hate idle chit-chat too. I always feel uncomfortable, standing around, beer in hand, silently perusing the crowd, convinced that everyone is wondering why I, of all people, would deign to attend, and thereby destroy, such an awesome party. That sentence had a lot of commas, but you get the idea.

But here's the secret. Find another oddball. Last party, I sat next to a young man with painted fingernails. I asked why he paints his fingernails. He said he wasn't gay, but just liked the way it looked. Why can't a straight man paint his fingernails? We embarked on an hour-long deep conversation about appearances, stereotypes, how women see us, etc. It was like My Dinner with Andre. We were brilliant: riveting. And became more-so with every beer. No idle chit-chat there. When we departed, we hugged, thanking each other for rescuing each other from an otherwise dismal ordeal.

[Zeke]

For years we went to a large holiday party put on by the Port of Long Beach for all that were even remotely connected with the Port. However, the guest list was pretty tight and only the cream were invited from any given company with ties to the Port.

So every year I see that the employees of any given company or Port dept all seem to gather in clumps. All year long they see each other and then go to a big party with a dance band and all the trimmings including a well stocked hosted bar and huge buffet, and hang together like bats in a cave.

Since my wife was the only one from her company after her boss retired and came back on contract, we stood alone. She didn't seem to mind until the last party before her retirement when it finally struck her how stupid this was. AFA people having a short attention span, that's true. Even I walk away from any extended conversation. It's always too loud to talk anyway.

The best and only thing to do at a party of any sort is to simply people watch and check out any hotties. Women usually dress up more than men and a lot of the time it's high hems and low tops.

HOOOYA!

[VincentVega]

I like parties. Last weekend I ended up talking boats, cars, espresso machines, knives, food... while eating good food and pouring drinks. Whats not to like? When I end up talking to some one thats not interesting, I move to someone else. Pretty simple stuff.

[Seahawk]

One of the things I truly and completely hated about the Navy were "mandatory" parties, especially around the holidays...command performances.

The parties everyone hates will continue until moral improves.

Not no more

I get parties with buds, however. One here soon, with guns.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by VincentVega

I like parties. Last weekend I ended up talking boats, cars, espresso machines, knives, food... while eating good food and pouring drinks. Whats not to like? When I end up talking to some one thats not interesting, I move to someone else. Pretty simple stuff.

I despise those type of parties....

Can't find anyone that will talk to me

Different strokes....

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by VincentVega

I like parties. Last weekend I ended up talking boats, cars, espresso machines, knives, food... while eating good food and pouring drinks. Whats not to like? When I end up talking to some one thats not interesting, I move to someone else. Pretty simple stuff.

Whats not to like?
1. Talking. I hate idle chit chat.

2.Talking while eating good food. If I'm in a conversation while eating I barely taste the food. Two things I cannot multi-task at are enjoying food and having a conversation. One or the other please.

[rfuerst911sc]

Dear Penthouse I was recently invited to a Christmas party .............

[VincentVega]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

Whats not to like?
1. Talking. I hate idle chit chat.

Bring something to the table! Make it interesting.

2.Talking while eating good food. If I'm in a conversation while eating I barely taste the food. Two things I cannot multi-task at are enjoying food and having a conversation. One or the other please.

Too funny. I'm never to busy to eat or focus on food, a problem of late. Plus, its a great conversation starter. Hey, have you tried the couscous, goes great with the lamb skewers. BTW, I'm VincentVega, whats your name?

[stealthn]

My fav
"The worst part was I had to drive an hour and a half to get home so I couldn't even get toasted and start insulting people."

[Rusty Heap]

Just like the Cruise Ship Crowd in flocks.


we call them Pod People.

[svandamme]

there is nothing they could extort me with, bad enough that I would go to a Xmas party.


So how did they get you??

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by svandamme

there is nothing they could extort me with, bad enough that I would go to a Xmas party.


So how did they get you??

“You’re not going to be needing those blue pills for a while.”