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LOL!
This thread certainly picked up speed! ![]() The "disposable" women are usually acquired with a tag team effort in 10 easy to follow steps. The car has nothing to do with it. Of course the wildlife varries in different parts of the country, but the game is the same. 1.) Identify and target chosen mating partner. 2.) Look over to friend. Nod once in his direction. Nod a second time in the direction of the female(s). Await his nod in return. If the friend does not nod in return and gives you a dirty look, you can assume you've had too much to drink and should stop at this point. 3.) Approach target with care... females are easily freightened and may scatter at the slightest whiff of cheap beer or cologne. 4.) Ask her what her name is, offer to buy her a drink. Whatever she wants, dont get it for her. She has no taste and is ordering something that will make her 'look good.' Advise against it and recommend another 'girl drink' (usually identified by the pink umbrella). NO shots, NO beer, and NO drinks named after human anatomy or the results of that anatomy being touched for prolonged periods of time (this makes you a pig, and even though you are, you dont want her to think that, yet.) 5.) Prepare to explain to her why this drink tastes so much better than what she was going to order after she thanks you for making a wise choice. 6.) Act bashful and thank her after she compliments your eyes. 7.) Hope she has a girlfreind with her at the bar. Intrduce her to your friend. 8.) After the second introduction between your friend and her friend, your buddy will rely on his own abilities to make it look like he is having a good time. 9.) As a result, the targeted female will feel jealous that her friend is getting all the attention and push you to give her more. This can be identified by the "leg touch" the "do you like my necklace" or the "Im not wearing any underwear." The two females will now be in compitition with eachother to see which one of them can get the biggest reaction out of their stalker (guy). Tensions will escalate until clevage depth is being compared and they are paying for YOUR drinks. 10.) Accept their invitation to go back to their place and enjoy the remainder of yoru evening. Comment on how nice the kitchen counter top looks. Watch her sit on it. And there you have it. Stuttgart's 10 Easy Steps to Acquiring Disposable Women. DISLCAIMER: Stuttgart951 is not responsible for any handprints, alcohol stained shirts, or black eyes as a result of following the above guidelines. (Psst - if that doesnt work, just walk in and act like you could care less about women. They will come to YOU.) Also - Wayne, I agree - a 356 (cab especially) has got to be a chick magnet. ![]()
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96 993 88 911 (Sold) 87 951 (Sold) |
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Moot Point
At my age....
But the whole thread reminds me of the joke about the Mouse and the Elephant and the pit in the jungle... Sigh....I remember those days.
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Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings." McDaniel 1974 911 Targa 1995 Toyota Avalon 2004 Toyota Tundra Extended Cab |
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Location: london
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you need to find the primary target, normally the most minging girl send the kamikazee in (the married guy with nothing to loose) to talk to the primary target, the the wing commanders can follow and hit on the nice girls the squadroom leader will sit back and watch the progress at any time he has the power to abort the mission, you must remember you are a team and must work together
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911 user
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: East of Eden, West of the Sun
Posts: 2,411
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Do threesomes count?
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Where once the giants walked now Mickey Mouse is king. My other car is also a Porsche. |
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I am 18 but frankly I wouldn't know, cause my car spends all it's time in the garage in pieces. Forced to cruise in the truck. But my girlfriend says she like it (Fresh paintjob certainly helps).
Pat
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74 911 - First Car Currently Restoring |
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And you people wonder why there aren't any women besides Sarah and IXXI on the forum. Shame on you.
My 911 has never gotten me ahead with women. I've had one leave me partly because I bought it; the next one keyed it twice because she knew I loved it, and the current girlfriend dates me, and I quote, "despite the fact that you have a Porshhh." Pathetic. You want to get disposable women, get an Escalade and a bag of coke. You want a productive life? Get a partner. ![]()
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Mark Szabo 1986 911 Targa 3.2 (I will miss you) 1985 Scirocco 8V (I will not miss you) 1986 Dodge B150 Ram Van (I can't believe I got $200 for you) 1987 Escort 5-speed 1.9 RIP |
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RETIRED
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Hey my SC gets me all the babes I will ever need....
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1983/3.6, backdate to long hood 2012 ML350 3.0 Turbo Diesel |
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Location: Mid-life crisis, could be anywhere
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Jeeez, Mark. I hope this one works out better for you.
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'95 993 C4 Cabriolet Bunch of motorcycles |
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If women think we Porsche guys are trying to make up for some sort of anatomical deficiency...what must they think of Viper drivers!!!
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Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done Current Stable: Maserati GranTurismo S Range Rover Autobiography Various Porsches ~ in pieces |
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Too big to fail
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I picked up some pu55y just a few nights ago while drivving home. Luckily it didn't hurt the oil cooler or the splitter.
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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Quote:
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Dan Morissette '85 Guards Red Targa 911 My Owners Gallery Page Non illegitimi carborundum |
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Hey Dan - where are you driving your Carrera? Apparently, I need to spend more time there
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Chris M 1985 911 Carrera w/ 3.6 |
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LOL Dan!
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96 993 88 911 (Sold) 87 951 (Sold) |
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Dan Morissette '85 Guards Red Targa 911 My Owners Gallery Page Non illegitimi carborundum |
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More Likeable IRL
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motion, i dont think the car is the hole in your swing when it comes to the beaches,,, its your hair do and color. they think you are that nut from behind the plate of baseball games in the 80's. by the way, how did that dumb ace always land those killer seats?
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78SC PRC Spec911 (sold 12/15) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7I6HCCKrVQ Now gone: 03 996TT/75 slicklid 3.oL carb'd hotrod 15 Rubicon JK/07.5 LMM Duramax 4x/86 Ski Nautique Correct Craft |
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LOL @ stuttgart...
glad I'm married... sjd
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Porsche sold, moving back to muscle cars for a bit. |
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Ahhh hell! Now that this has been moved to off topic, nobody will read the following, but I'm gonna paste it anyway. I got it from RoninLB, and it sure tells some truths about the male/female relationship in a funny manner:
.. between men and women, as told by the story of Roger and Elaine: Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their... "Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so... (She breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says Roger. "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. "It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Elaine says. There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work. "Yes," he says. Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine. "Oh," says Roger. "Yes." Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks. "Thank you, Roger," she says. "Thank you," says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn. When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say, "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?" Last edited by pwd72s; 03-14-2003 at 05:21 PM.. |
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RETIRED
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Oh, c'mon.....what HORSESPATOOTIE Moderator sent THIS to off topic?
Bet his Dad was a TV censor in the 70s......Puuuuhllllleeeeeze...... ![]()
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1983/3.6, backdate to long hood 2012 ML350 3.0 Turbo Diesel |
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Chris M 1985 911 Carrera w/ 3.6 |
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I'll bite
The p-car helps get attention of course.
But I'm a retired womanizer now. I made a bar chart by ethnicity and I was almost frightened---mainly by the number of filipinos in the thing, and I don't even date filipinos. The p-car is just an enhancer--something akin to when I was coerced into E (.."don't be such a baby," she said) and forced to listen to delerium and PVD all night by this totally freakin' hot k-girl. Oh man...the crueler and more beautiful (and brilliant) they are, the more you want to commune and imbibe. Damn I love a woman with that kind of vocabulary--b!tch or not. I said, among other things as I babbled amid the booming of "Flowers become Windscreens," that E was a love potion. She responded that she hadn't actually considered it a love potion, but more of an enhancer. Yeah. Then I said, "You're so beautiful. You're a goddess," and she smiled at me, and I went on and on in virtual poetry, and for some reason I concluded with, "All of these other women--how could i ever compare them with you?" Why did I say that? Anyway, she got all pissed off and left. In the end, my buddy, who's married (at 27) with 2 kids goes out with his married buddy guys once in a while, and he said once in passing, "yeah, once in a while all the guys sit around and exchange women stories..." My response. "Although i still think marriage sucks my 'nads, someday I will be at that gathering with you. And when my turn in the round table comes up, I'll cover the highlights between 8:35 and 10:15PM, and when I'm done, none of you b!tches will be telling anymore stories." Same goes fer you (besides Widebody of course) |
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