Being Lonely

[vash]

Oddest feeling in the world.

I’m a people person. Pretty social. I have no problem with “table for one” at all. Day in day out loneliness, sheesh. I’d get bummed.

My current job situation has me traveling. When I land in a new city, that’s the best glimpse into loneliness. 1 week into sleeping alone in a hotel, eating solo, is a taste.

I call my wife damn near non-stop. We FaceTime. I try to meet up with distant friends if my travels help me cross paths. There is no way I could be a traveling salesman.
How long do you suppose you could go on and on SOLO?

[GH85Carrera]

I did not get married until my late 30s. I was single, and worked a lot. The toughest part is going to a nice restaurant while solo, where everyone else is with a friend or group.

When I first moved to Oklahoma City, I moved from 900 miles away. I did not know anyone at all, except my grandparents. I loved them to death, but a few hours of listing to Lawrence Welk, and hearing the same stories again were enough.

My wife is retired, and I work from home. We are together most of the time. It is very comfortable. I can be away from home for a while, and not feel lonely because I get out and meet strangers and make new friends.

[Jims5543]

When I am out alone to eat, I try to find places with cool bars to sit at and eat, I have made some friends that way. I would never sit at a table alone years ago, having raised 2 kids (one still in process) I actually like the quiet time now.

Breakfast, give me a corner table alone a lots of coffee.

Diner, I prefer to be more social and will always sit at the bar.

[GH85Carrera]

Sitting at the bar is is a great option now that the no smoking laws are in effect. It sucked big time back in the bad old days trying to eat with a cloud of smoke in the air.

[seafeye]

People think the life of an airline pilot is glamorous. I gotta tell you that eating alone, sleeping alone, watching tv alone, running alone, 200 days a year gets old.
No longer do Pilots and flight attendants share the same schedule. Our work rules are different and usually swap crews after each leg. Domestic speaking. Then the guy to your left or right. The one you just met and will probably never see after the trip, is probably 20 years younger or older.
And they have given up trying to be social. Many are slam clickers. Meaning, get to the hotel room. Slam the door and hit the TV remote. Only to be seen the next morning.

Computers have made our schedules so precise that it’s litterly down to the minute, every day of our lives. Granted, we finally have decent pay scales. But the job is very lonely. I’d hate my kids to be doing this...

Good thing we have pelican forums. It makes the overnights bearable.

[911boost]

I travel a lot for work, hundred of thousands of air miles is not out of the norm.

It has its pluses and minuses for sure. I read a ton, very rarely watch tv. I communicate with my kids also via, text, calls, FaceTime.

I am not a huge fan of eating in a restaurant by myself, but it does happen. Like you I try to meet up friends while traveling when I can.

As for being Solo, if it’s warm and I’m on the motorcycle I can go solo for longer.

[Zeke]

Jeez, Cliff, reach out. There are Pelicans up and down this state. You gotta start a thread about each venue and at least a week ahead of touch down.

[Gretch]

I suspect the comfort level with being alone changes over time............

I believe I was more comfortable with it 10 years ago than I am now......

My sense is women handle it better than men, too.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by seafeye

People think the life of an airline pilot is glamorous. I gotta tell you that eating alone, sleeping alone, watching tv alone, running alone, 200 days a year gets old.
No longer do Pilots and flight attendants share the same schedule. Our work rules are different and usually swap crews after each leg. Domestic speaking. Then the guy to your left or right. The one you just met and will probably never see after the trip, is probably 20 years younger or older.
And they have given up trying to be social. Many are slam clickers. Meaning, get to the hotel room. Slam the door and hit the TV remote. Only to be seen the next morning.

Computers have made our schedules so precise that it’s litterly down to the minute, every day of our lives. Granted, we finally have decent pay scales. But the job is very lonely. I’d hate my kids to be doing this...

Good thing we have pelican forums. It makes the overnights bearable.

I have a good fiend that is a Captain.

He used to be a real life Quagmire. Single and did some major damage to the FA's for a few years.

He had me laughing, one time he was sitting in the bar with a lesbian FA they were comparing notes on all the FA's they had been to bed with.

Yes, he is on the road a lot and alone a lot, he never seems lonely to me. He is typically out with people doing things seeing things etc...

Every once in a while when he has a longer layover near me, he will jump seat down and hang out for an evening then jump back the next morning.

He just got married the Quagmire years are behind him now.

[aschen]

I didnt get married until late in life and was a bit of a loner for over a decade. Often had friends to do things with but was alone quite a bit.

Honestly I never minded eating, going to movies, museums, events, sometimes even vacations alone. Occasionally somebody would suggest that it is a bit sad to go to an event by myself. I always maintained that it is much more sad to stay home because your buddies arn't available or interested.

Then I met my wife while eating in a restaurant alone, and we have 3 small kids so I have all the company I can stand!

[porsche4life]

Originally Posted by vash

Oddest feeling in the world.

I’m a people person. Pretty social. I have no problem with “table for one” at all. Day in day out loneliness, sheesh. I’d get bummed.

My current job situation has me traveling. When I land in a new city, that’s the best glimpse into loneliness. 1 week into sleeping alone in a hotel, eating solo, is a taste.

I call my wife damn near non-stop. We FaceTime. I try to meet up with distant friends if my travels help me cross paths. There is no way I could be a traveling salesman.
How long do you suppose you could go on and on SOLO?

I know the feeling. Business travel sounds glamouros, but after a few times it gets real old. Even traveling with coworkers you enjoy spending time with gets old. I just want to be home with my family and my dog damnit!

[sammyg2]

It's a bit ironic that to me, the worst part of travelling is all the people.
Hate crowds.

[tabs]

Every job gets old once it becomes a routine...

And you Boyz could always go to a Gay bar and hook up....

[masraum]

I'm pretty sure I could go solo for a year easy. I'm not sure how I'd feel after a year. And it would depend, would I get to come home to the missus every weekend or at least every other week?

I don't think it would bother me much at all, long term.

[tabs]

Everyone I know goes away in the end....

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by Jims5543

one time he was sitting in the bar with a lesbian FA they were comparing notes on all the FA's they had been to bed with.

I'm an accountant by trade. FA means fixed assets.

I dated an Army pilot when I could still pull chicks. She worked at the Pentagon but would come home to Akron several times per year for family visits and I visited her in DC.

We traded conquest data but she initiated. Maybe it's a military thing?

On topic. I am alone at 62. Divorced several years ago but tending to kids in their 20's and friends filled up the plate. Two close friends died in the last year and kids are stable (and out).

Gimme a year to respond.

I will say I'm paying a women to help make my place look warmer because I do not have that gene. I have 25 framed wall hangings and not a one is on a hook. Promising.

[jcommin]

Originally Posted by Jims5543

When I am out alone to eat, I try to find places with cool bars to sit at and eat, I have made some friends that way. I would never sit at a table alone years ago, having raised 2 kids (one still in process) I actually like the quiet time now.

Breakfast, give me a corner table alone a lots of coffee.

Diner, I prefer to be more social and will always sit at the bar.

i eat alone often. I'm a regular at a few favorite spots. I sit at the bar or corner table. I enjoy the quiet. I like quiet places so you won't see me on a Friday or Saturday night.

[RSBob]

I used to travel for work quite a bit and learned to engage others at restaurants or bars in conversation trying to find areas in common. Ended up making dinner friends, or sharing a table. Never shared a bed or tv since was married.

I forced myself to be outgoing and about 1/3 of the time I ended up in a good conversation. That helped. I know not everyone can be socia, being shy, it took a real effort but it worked. Made some friends all over the western states.

[javadog]

I did it for years. Five days a week. My work commute was on a 737. Evenings, nice long dinner with a couple drinks. I read a lot of books, and didn’t watch much TV

If you’re adventurous, there’s usually something to see in every place you land.

[Seahawk]

Vash, you have a bit of a genius for touching on interesting topics.

I am very comfortable alone, have done long stretches of "geobatching" in my professional life...meaning working remote from my family and then coming home for the weekends. Years. I still do a load of traveling.

That comfort probably comes from growing up in a rural area, working and spending a lot of time alone. Until my son was old enough to help, I also spent a great deal of alone time on my farm as well. Hard to describe how comfortable it can be.

I could not, however, be as comfortable alone then or now without knowing I had an amazing support system, family a mile or a phone call away.

I am never alone when I have someone who misses me. Odd but true.