STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS! have you ever...?

[tabs]

I am being really extra nice when I am on this Board.

You really should not fk around with me, I really am a nasty individual.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Tervuren

It depends on how much power is wielded and the ensuing possible consequences.

As a gamer I tend to want to be around a variety of people, this often means keeping my own candid thoughts to myself as to be open would immediately set certain people against me. Part of this is at different times being a guild officer, founder, leader, etc...

In a leadership position I will make the hard call that someone that melts down over disagreements does not belong in my group in the long term. I will generally talk this over with others to hear their say.

Then it is time to go to the easily offended and explain that they either need to toughen up, leave, or face the ban hammer. Ultimately I do it because I know they will not be happy if status quo is maintained, and multiple people would leave the guild if status quo is maintained.

When I'm in charge of an organization and there is conflict I look at where I want the organization to grow or be. Straighten or prune as needed. When I'm in charge I want a place where thick skin is the norm, where people can disagree but still work together. I look at who makes the group weaker vs who makes it stronger, and weight in the balance.

Now lets flip the tables, lets say I am a member in an organization and not a leader. It then becomes a matter of where I expect leadership to fall should I stop walking on eggshells mixed with if I really want to be within that organization.

I am very charismatic in gaming, if I leave a place it fails. It makes me very reticent to join places in the first place as if I decide I don't fit in; the void of lacking my lively banter can shatter a formerly stable organization. There are other times where it was a natural exodus where people left for same reasons I did. I have seen both.

Now these considerations also apply to a workplace.

However family dynamics are different in that you don't choose your family. Your only option is an attempt at exclusion. Because other members of your family may not share your ideas the amount you have to cut may be much bigger than you expect.

I'm generally one to check the foundation my artillery is firing from before I load the cannon and fire it off. You don't want to do a "Humpty Dumpty".

Sounds like manipulation to me

[sc_rufctr]

I don't do "dramas" any more. My GF is the same.
We don't live together (which is a good thing ) so a lot of our lives is separate.

It wasn't always like this. One of the benefits of getting older.

[tabs]

The question becomes just how much do you want to know? Quite frankly none of you have the stones to look at yourself in the mirror. The face staring back at you would be too hidious.It is far more convient to maintain your pleasant fictions about yourselves.

But this is a fun Thread because you reveal so much about how you perceive your relationships.

[tabs]

Why the fk walk on egg shells? Just tell it like it is, and if the mtherfler can't take it or keep up tough shyte for them. I am not going to enable your delusions..your fake narrative.

Everyone of you has a fake narrative to a greater or lessor degree.

[DanielDudley]

Physician, heal thyself.

Generally, if you let a bully dominate or take advantage, they will decide that it is your fault, and that you deserve it.

I can be blunt or short, but generally I mean no harm and want to be helpful. I try to keep my side of the street clean, and I try to work with decent people for decent people. Nobody is perfect, and everybody has bad days. However, there is a big difference between a self involved person trying to manipulate their world so they don't fall apart, and a narcissistic sociopath with borderline personality issues. If you are the kind of person who gets nasty because things don't always go your way, eventually you are going to run into a wall with me. If you are having a bad day, I'll happily take the time to talk it out with you.

There are lot of people out there who are very messed up, but hide it well and are successful, so they don't care.
It isn't my job to fix them or deal with them, unless they swing their arm at my nose. If I can steer a conversation to a positive outcome or an honest resolution, I will do that. If it is just a difference of opinion about how things should be done, I will work through the chain of command. I won't work in the rat race, and I am not interested in being the king of the rats. Sociopathic backstabbers who lie to your face are the bane of the world.

[LakeCleElum]

TVS = President and CEO (Trifecta Victim's Society)

Trifecta - Bipolar - Narcissistic - Diabetic

Put your head down, keep you mouth shut and go ride........

[pavulon]

A co-worker's wife is currently doing her menopause thing. He frequently looks like someone has drained the life from his eyes. It's tough to watch but would be infinitely more difficult to live.

[Tervuren]

Originally Posted by tabs

Sounds like manipulation to me

Strategy is the manipulation of the present in order to reach the desired future.

When you're in charge people follow look to you to shape the future.

[wayner]

Originally Posted by pavulon

A co-worker's wife is currently doing her menopause thing. He frequently looks like someone has drained the life from his eyes. It's tough to watch but would be infinitely more difficult to live.

Tell him its not about him.
Don't take a single thing personally.

Seriously, let her go wingy...meanwhile remain stable...as an observer
Its a test and he's failing.

She needs to know where the boundaries are and will be unsettled until she finds them, and when she does she will keep testing them to make sure that they are there.

Losing sight of the shore, lost in the desert, thats her right now. Show her the boundaries so she can settle down.
Meanwhile he should be focusing on taking care of himself and preserving his own boundaries.

[jcommin]

Originally Posted by Jims5543

There was a time, after our second son was born when my wife became very unstable.

There were times when I would sit in the driveway, returning home from work, wondering what I was about to walk into. Was it a raving lunatic, or was it my awesome wife.


Thankfully she got help and got her hormones back under control.


It was about a 1 year period where I was in fear for my life.


Never before, never after, now she is the coolest chick on the block.

I had a similar struggle but mine ended differently - I got divorced after 25 years. It almost broke me mentally and emotionally.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Tervuren

Strategy is the manipulation of the present in order to reach the desired future.

When you're in charge people follow look to you to shape the future.

You have to work too hard at it...you have to think about it..playa.

Come back when you just do it without thinking about it.. when it is intutive..then you move through the ocean of life like a great white.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by Gogar

"Telling it like is is" is fine as long as you're cool with being alone. -snip-

Originally Posted by Tervuren

Strategy is the manipulation of the present in order to reach the desired future.

When you're in charge people follow look to you to shape the future.

Well said, sir. I my steal it for use in one of my classes.

Interesting thread.

Originally Posted by Gogar

"Telling it like is is" is fine as long as you're cool with being alone. Seems to me people who generally revel in "being a straight shooter" do so because it's kinda cheap. It's like driving without using your turn signals. You pat yourself on the back because you got to your destination but there's a pile of people behind you who don't really like you anymore.

Also well said. Are you by chance artistic?

[Tervuren]

Originally Posted by madcorgi

Well said, sir. I my steal it for use in one of my classes.

It is an alteration of a quote from the headmaster of the Arcanist Guild during the 7th Umbral Era,

"Strategy is a tool used to manipulate one's situation into the desired reality." - Khrid Tia

I preferred to change it the way I did as I see that the only opportunity for change exists with the present.

A continual set of planned actions in the present moving with a direction in mind;
this brings the desired future to one day become the present.
Hence my paraphrase.
The meaning is perhaps the same even if the way to get there is different.

[WPOZZZ]

Originally Posted by Jims5543

There was a time, after our second son was born when my wife became very unstable.

There were times when I would sit in the driveway, returning home from work, wondering what I was about to walk into. Was it a raving lunatic, or was it my awesome wife.


Thankfully she got help and got her hormones back under control.


It was about a 1 year period where I was in fear for my life.


Never before, never after, now she is the coolest chick on the block.

My usually level headed girlfriend has been going through menopause. It is not very pleasant.

[sc_rufctr]

[ckelly78z]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

My wife’s family is quiet and not chatty at all. My wife’s uncle Bill was a loud boisterous very liberal Democrat. No one in the family would dare talk politics for fear he would get mad and make a scene. We all went to “grandmas” house and uncle Bill was cutting some shrubs and sweating some. I loudly proclaimed wow, a Democrat that is doing real labor. He looked at me and let out a loud laugh. We both joked about politics a little, but we liked each other. I was the first person to ever say anything to him, everyone else just “walked on eggshells” with him. He was happy to see another personality that was not shy.

This sounds like my brother and I...he is the most liberal thinking SOB on the planet, and a Methodist pastor to boot (he has alienated a few of his flock with his FB posts).

I live about 10 miles from him, but see him about once a year in a family get together setting.

[fastfredracing]

Im not walking on eggshells

[flatbutt]

Walking on eggshells can be very case dependent. When you are aware of an issue that someone is suffering with, being sensitive to their condition may be walking on eggshells but it is for a good reason. I am referring to an acute situation, not a chronic one.

When it is chronic, ongoing and by reason of a purposefully adopted demeanor I have displayed a short lived tolerance hoping it'd resolve. When it didn't I've stomped on the eggshells while walking away.