Loser mom... about to get one of her kids back.

[unclebilly]

My cousin got involved with a woman in the mid 80’s who had already had a child. This woman was (is) a lifetime welfare recipient. She had 2 more children which my cousin fathered before a horrendous breakup.

Every one of these kids is on welfare and is a druggie.

The first girl (not my cousins) has 2 kids that have been taken away by social services. Based on her 10 Facebook posts per day, she is in and out of the hospital for diabetes related issues and problems with failing kidneys. I imagine years of booze, coke, and everything else have played a role in her current health maladies.

Last week, she posted that she might be getting her ~10 year old son back. She then followed this up with a bunch of posts over the past couple of days of herself out partying and smoking pot from a bong of some description.

People like this are why I feel strongly that you should have to get a license to have children.

I’m concerned that if she gets her son back, he will be in a far worse environment than the foster care I imagine he is currently in. This is going to be a train wreck.

Should I mind my own business? Should I make an anonymous call to Social Services? What would you do?

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

She then followed this up with a bunch of posts over the past couple of days of herself out partying and smoking pot from a bong of some description.

Should I mind my own business? Should I make an anonymous call to Social Services? What would you do?

Point Social Services to her Facebook posts.

[asphaltgambler]

+1

[racer]

Have you thought about stepping up to be involved with the child and break the cycle? if not, the next best thing might be to rat out the mother and hope the "state" will find a better place. I imagine the state prefers to keep mothers and children together, even if it is a trainwreck. it sounds like you want to "do the right thing" and help but feel powerless, but annoyed at the same time Perhaps wanting someone else to be the change that needs to happen?

[unclebilly]

I don’t want to be involved in this mess. I’ve seen the impact this has had on my aunt, uncle, and cousin.

It’s bad and not an appropriate environment in which to raise children.

[oldE]

Although our (adopted ) daughter is not addicted to anything worse than tobacco (that I am aware of ), her daughter has been in our care since Family Services stepped in while she and her abusive partner were together. Now the little one is five years old, happy and healthy. She knows both of her biological parents but is aware they are not central to her life.
Raising a child in our sixties and seventies is not what we anticipated, but it is the right thing to do.

Best
Les

[Evans, Marv]

Les, you and your wife are good people. I've commented before on a few threads about my involvement with the welfare system for about seven years of my working life and how I developed a healthy dose of hate for the system in general. I was involved in the side of trying to get people off of welfare and into jobs by trying to get them educated, vocationally trained, and set up with potential jobs. I won't go over all I've said before but to say again it's a system that promotes dependency and takes away initiative, and of course does everything it can from an administrative level to expand it's reach. One thing that always irked me was to hear them refer to their cash aid as "my pay check." I would let social services know. Sometimes when they get involved they can have the tenacity of a pit bull if you're lucky. I say sometimes because at other times they can be totally ineffective, so you have to take your chances and hope for the best.

[ckelly78z]

My dear farmer, neighbors across the road are in their 80s, and raising a great grand daughter. The mother of this child is a druggie, and in and out of trouble, and mostly out of the area. Her mother (child's Gma) had a severe stroke a few years back, and can't physically take are of this poor little girl.

She is now 11 years old, and becoming a major hormonal handful, much more than 83 years old should have to be dealing with. The child's Aunt (the mother's sister) is starting to step up, but has a disability herself....what a mess.

[wildthing]

I'm all for minding your own business, but if there's a chance to save a child... you know there's always exceptions to the rules.

[T77911S]

been in that situation but not family related.
oh, I also think welfare recipients should be drug tested and given a limited time to get off drugs or no welfare.

anyway, we use to foster kids.
long story short DSS was about to give a kid back to a druggie mom because DSS did NOT do their job of checking up. my nosey wife (she was always very concerned about the kids) found out the mom had NOT done what she needed to do and was using drugs.
she let DSS know about it.

so yes, for the kids sake, let someone know.
you will always regret the "what if" for the rest of your life

[oldE]

Marv,
When I visited my daughter earlier this month, she advised me she had been in a new job for two weeks. This is significant as it is the first job she has got without support or urging from us or a community program. She will likely never set the world on fire but she is learning to be responsible for herself at age 30.

83 years old and looking after a great granddaughter?
I am going to STFU now. I have little to complain about.

Best
Les

[rfuerst911sc]

Having the ability to spit out kids like a PEZ dispensor does not make someone a parent . It takes hard work , determination , skill and some luck to keep kids on a straight path . If the parents don't have those skills then the kids are being set up for failure . There are too many " parents " that just don't give a crap about their kids , it is a sad situation . Our society needs this cycle to be broken .

[Evans, Marv]

Les, good news about the daughter. Being in a work environment promotes a lot of things. People get into a productive routine, develop social relationships, see opportunity, and experiece positive feedback from becoming more self sufficient. Good news for sure.

[jorian]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

Point Social Services to her Facebook posts.

This.

[unclebilly]

So the latest is that after the pot assisted off-roading escapade with a bunch of like minded idiots, she has been in the hospital for 36 hours with broken or cracked ribs and her blood sugars are out of control...

She clearly can’t look after herself or make adult decisions, how can she be the guardian of children?

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Because she has two “X” chromosomes. In the “minds” of our enlightened legal system and all the associated government bureaucrats that handle child welfare and family law, that’s all that matters. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. The kids will always go with their mother unless (and sometimes even if) there’s outright abuse.

Good luck. I hope the kids are strong and somehow pull through in the long run.