Florida Man got nothin on this Oregon Man

[herr_oberst]

Told the cops it was burglary. What a doosh.

https://www.oregonlive.com/washingtoncounty/2019/05/forest-grove-man-stole-daughters-cookie-sale-money-to-pay-for-erotic-massage-prosecutors-say.html

[Racerbvd]

So did he steal $100 from his daughter to pay his fine?

[wdfifteen]

Sounds like a sterling example of parenthood. He'll probably have her doing $20 lap dances to raise the $800.

[LWJ]

Did he name his daughter "Destyny?" Or the less exotic, but still tantalizing "Sindee?"

[rfuerst911sc]

He should probably have a chat with Robert Kraft .......... it appears they have some things in common

[red-beard]

Now Louisiana....

Cops: Woman Fired Gun Over Oral Denial | The Smoking Gun

MAY 22--Angry that a male acquaintance refused to perform oral sex on her, a 19-year-old Louisiana woman fired a shot at the man, prompting him to jump from the second-floor balcony of his Baton Rouge apartment, according to court records.

The victim said he invited Anneisha Speed into his home “due to the two ‘hanging out’ earlier in the day” on May 13, a Baton Rouge Police Department officer noted in a probable cause affidavit.

While in the man’s residence, Speed “asked for oral sex, which victim declined,” the affidavit states. At that point, Speed allegedly “produced” a .40 caliber handgun and “demanded oral sex again stating if he declined she would shoot him.”

The man responded by grabbing Speed’s wrist, which led her to fire the weapon. The round, however, did not strike the victim.

The man then “jumped from the second floor balcony to avoid getting shot at again,” an investigator reported. “The victim stated that while he was fleeing, he heard another shot fired.”

After cops were summoned, the man pointed to Speed and identified her as his assailant. Pictured above, Speed allegedly resisted a patrolman attempting to handcuff her.
A police search of the crime scene (seen below) yielded a spent shell casing and a live .40 caliber round.

After being read her rights, Speed reportedly admitted to taking a Mossberg shotgun and a PlayStation console from the victim’s residence. Both items were recovered from a witness’s apartment.

During a post-arrest search, Speed was found to be in possession of a spent .40 caliber shell casing and two live rounds. “The Defendant admitted to picking up the spent casing because it had her DNA on it,” according to the affidavit, which does not address the whereabouts of the handgun Speed is alleged to have fired.

Speed was charged with multiple felonies, including second-degree attempted murder, illegal discharge of a firearm, and gun theft. She was booked into the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison, from which she was subsequently released on $17,000 bond.

I thought this was the guy...nope...

[dafischer]

I guess she just left a bad taste in his mouth.

[sammyg2]

We're domed.

[URY914]

Black Lives Matter

[rfuerst911sc]

You mean to tell me that is the pic of the woman ? Yikes no wonder he said no !!! She's probably packing a penis 😂

[flatbutt]

Urban tales say many brothers don't play that. just sayin'

[speeder]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

Urban tales say many brothers don't play that. just sayin'

A cursory search of Pornhub lays waste to that myth. They are usually down on a muffin.

[URY914]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

Urban tales say many brothers don't play that. just sayin'

When I was in high school the brothers said they would never ever do that.

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by speeder

A cursory search of Pornhub lays waste to that myth. They are usually down on a muffin.

I will have to take your word on that. I ain't gonna look.

[rfuerst911sc]

The pic of the " woman " ? above .......... I wouldn't eat that if it was day 21 of Naked and Afraid !!!

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

Told the cops it was burglary. What a doosh.

https://www.oregonlive.com/washingtoncounty/2019/05/forest-grove-man-stole-daughters-cookie-sale-money-to-pay-for-erotic-massage-prosecutors-say.html

BTW $700 worth of cookies?! What'd she do, get a Seahawks cheerleader to wear her GS uniform and go with her?

[Baz]

That father in the Op's story is a scumbag, obviously. I feel bad for the daughter having such a dirtbag for a dad.

Overall, there's a lot of mankind to detest.....

[legion]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

BTW $700 worth of cookies?! What'd she do, get a Seahawks cheerleader to wear her GS uniform and go with her?

I thought that was about 3 boxes in Seattle....

[GH85Carrera]

PINELLAS PARK, FLA.

Florida man trespassing at go-kart track crashes, dies.

A Florida man is dead after crashing while racing his friend at a closed go-kart track.
Pinellas Park police say Jesse Outlaw was trespassing when he crashed the aspowered
go-kart into a guard rail.

The Tampa Bay Times reports Outlaw wasn’t wearing a helmet when he crashed late Thursday. The go-kart wasn’t equipped with a safety harness. Showtime Speedway owner Robert Yoho said Outlaw was caught on a security camera trespassing two weeks earlier.

He did have the right name for the crimes.