Had a new worst-ever airport experience in Germany yesterday.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

...Since my German is about as good as my English, they thought I was a local...

I learned a long time ago that when traveling in DE on a US Passport which states your place of birth as Stuttgart it's best to keep a lid on the Schwäbisch unless you want to answer 100x's more questions than everyone else.

[Cajundaddy]

My least favorite airport these days is Orlando. We go to KSC sometimes to document NASA launches. Getting through Orlando airport is a challenge with all the parents chasing down their amped-up Disney World kids and attempting to carry on double deluxe baby strollers, light sabers etc. The TSA line is often over an hour but last time we got Pre Check and waltzed passed the whole mess.

With Global Entry and Pre Check, flying commercial is fairly tolerable most days.

[Sooner or later]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

This thread makes me grateful that there is nowhere I need or want to go badly enough to submit myself to the torture and humiliation of today's air travel.

Keep in mind we are hearing about the worst of the worst.

If we had a thread about terrible auto travel I could tell you about being stuck on I25 for 5 hours during a snowstorm and a massive pileup. Or the time my truck broke down halfway between Denton and Decatur and faced a 15 mile walk. Until I was picked up by two drunk dudes covered in tatoos that were driving an old Ford station wagon full of empty beer can and listening to heavy metal on a Kraco cassette deck at ear splitting volume.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by Captain Ahab Jr

I'd have cavity searched you, sent you home with an ouchy bum

The security folks were nice. Well, the woman who tore my bag apart started off kind of rough, but I calmed her down and she was nice and even chatty by the time she was done. Actually, everyone was pretty polite. I just knew I was going to be challenged. I didn't have to push too hard, but I had the email from Lufthansa encouraging me to gate-check my bag and my bag did actually fit, though very snugly, into the test basket for carry on. So I got past with it. One lady behind in me in line scoffed loudly when I told the first security guy. But why would she care? I was fully planning to gate check the bag and so it wouldn't have cost her any overhead bin space, even if she had been on my flight.

[Reiver]

With their recent open borders deal I'd be happy to go thru the 'routine'.....in the main they have no idea who is in their country.

[Danimal16]

Reminds of an old joke:

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were often short-tempered. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."

Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944.
But I didn't stop."

[varmint]

Originally Posted by Cajundaddy

Ummmm, you can't carry on that stuff Rick. Lucky the nice Deutsche TSA Frau didn't take you to secondary for a full cavity search.

I travel to Europe exactly for that.

[ckelly78z]

A carryon should have the basics to survive (prescriptions, underwear, change of shoes/clothes) not exotic gifts of questionable ingredients.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by ckelly78z

A carryon should have the basics to survive (prescriptions, underwear, change of shoes/clothes) not exotic gifts of questionable ingredients.

Well, you're entitled to your opinion, but you must know that's not at all how most people travel. For US domestic flights a large number of people carry everything on to avoid the fees. On int'l. flights, though you always get one or two free checked backs, lots of people still carry on everything to avoid the hassle of the lines. I don't remember the last time I didn't check a bag, as the fees are always covered by my employer or credit card. So it really did slip my mind when I was hurriedly tossing no-fly items before security. I simply hadn't done it before or at least for as long as I could remember. Wasn't trying to sneak anything past, though I later learned they didn't find everything.

[Ziggythecat]

What's almost laughable is what they do with all this "dangerous" contraband that they take from passengers.

It's way too dangerous to be on an aircraft, yet they just toss it in a trash can, right next to where everyone has to pass though to board.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

This thread makes me grateful that there is nowhere I need or want to go badly enough to submit myself to the torture and humiliation of today's air travel.

You would not have any idea what air travel, (or anything else you haven't experienced), is like by only reading weird stories on the internet. I fly regularly, both internationally and in the USA and I've never had any experiences that are remotely similar to the stories I read here.

Sure, air travel is not as luxurious as it once was, (at least in coach), and there did not used to be a TSA security checkpoint but otherwise, NBD. When an airport is busy, lines are longer. When it's less busy, they are fast. Get there on time and who cares? I always get to airports extra early and it removes all stress, I bring something good to read and relax in the secure area until my flight boards.

And flying is only less glamorous in coach. It's waaaay more luxurious in First Class, sometimes even in Business Class. Especially w international carriers. I was with a friend over the weekend who was about to fly to Kuwait on Qatar Business Class and he could not wait. He works for an artist who does big installation pieces and they were going to talk about a possible install at a super lux shopping center being built. They specified business class tickets and the potential employer did not blink @ $15k per ticket. It's a 16 hour flight.

Part of the problem w air travel is that people want super cheap tickets that do not realistically cover the cost of travel unless people are crammed into jumbo jets like sardines. Everyone is spoiled w cheap tickets and way too many people are flying everywhere. Personally, I don't mind the no frills flight for cheap as long as it's 3 hours or less.

These stories about people bringing fruit and meat into the USA from other countries and having no idea(!) they can't do it...or over sized bags that "barely fit" in container as carry on luggage...I have no sympathy. Sorry.

[JavaBrewer]

Originally Posted by speeder

And flying is only less glamorous in coach. It's waaaay more luxurious in First Class, sometimes even in Business Class. Especially w international carriers. I was with a friend over the weekend who was about to fly to Kuwait on Qatar Business Class and he could not wait. He works for an artist who does big installation pieces and they were going to talk about a possible install at a super lux shopping center being built. They specified business class tickets and the potential employer did not blink @ $15k per ticket. It's a 16 hour flight.

Part of the problem w air travel is that people want super cheap tickets that do not realistically cover the cost of travel unless people are crammed into jumbo jets like sardines. Everyone is spoiled w cheap tickets and way too many people are flying everywhere. Personally, I don't mind the no frills flight for cheap as long as it's 3 hours or less.

These stories about people bringing fruit and meat into the USA from other countries and having no idea(!) they can't do it...or over sized bags that "barely fit" in container as carry on luggage...I have no sympathy. Sorry.

In the late '90s a RT ticket from San Diego to IAD/DCA was ~ $2K. Then BWI started to become an option and was ~ $1200 cheaper... So I got used to the after flight commute South on the 95/295.

I am no longer a frequent flyer so when I do fly it's in coach. No way am I paying for the upgrade to Business/First... the difference in price would buy me a full week upgraded to 5 star hotel and steak dinners. I can put up with 8 hours of coach for that. Have a couple drinks, noise cancelling headphones, and get some work done or watch a movie.

15 years of business travel and I always carried on my bag. A challenge flying domestic since the overheads fill up fast. I could do a 2 week business trip with one roller bag in the overhead and my laptop backpack. Spend enough time traveling for business and you get pretty efficient. It saved 30-40 minutes waiting for stuff in baggage claim and hoping on alternate flights a breeze.

I am shopping for tickets this week for a dive trip to Belize, family of 4, and prices are in the $500 range with a 3-4 hour layover. Will have to check a bag for that with our snorkeling gear and the girls perfumes/lotions/shampoo/etc...

[group911@aol.co]

Originally Posted by plexiform

I was recently at this airport. Way too many checkpoints. I mean I'm all for safety but they are ridiculous.

I believe that all the flights from FRA to the US have to have people go through the "Z" concourse security.
That security like every other flight coming to the US is mandated by the US and not the local authorities. FRA may take a little more serious but it's still at our insistence.

[pdxfj]

I've been quite lucky in my international travels and haven't run into much hassle. Although I do remember the security in Munich being a bit of a pain when trying to leave.

The salami story reminded me of my first trip to Australia. I was waiting in line for Customs and saw a sign of prohibited items. I had a bag of trail mix and instead of try and take it in, I just tossed it.

A woman ahead of me was arguing with a customs agent. The agent had inspected a bottle of mixed spices and informed the woman that the mix contained cloves, and that cloves can contain a fungus that is harmful to the native fauna of Australia. The woman continued to argue about it and finally the customs agent said "Ok, you have two choices at this point.

1) We confiscate the jar and you go on your way.

2) You can have the jar, but we put you in handcuffs and walk you over there to be put on the first flight back to the United States.

Sadly I was whisked through customs before seeing the final result.

I do my best to make it so I have as few hassles as possible when traveling. Do quite a bit of it for work, so I've learned a lot of tricks over the years.

[Arizona_928]

I don't like frankfrurt. The last time I flew out I went through three different security check points before i finally made it to a cattle holding area at the bottom where they went through each of my duty free wine bags that I had dragged through a check point previously... They put them in a density scanner and I kept getting the red light. Really annoying, told to sit down and wait. The airline was nice. but that airport is ****ed

[petrolhead611]

Try arriving at Orlando airport as a foreign visitor . The queues have to be seen to be believed.
The belligerence of the officers creates an artform out of rudeness.
Before choosing your next flight consider Yorkshire Airlines (on YouTube)

[GH85Carrera]

Back long ago in about 1970 my great aunt was arriving in Hawaii from Hong Kong. We lived in Hawaii, at Hickam AFB so the airport was close to our house. She came in a new at the time 747. Three other 747s arrived from other countries at the same time. Hawaii had like 3 customs officers on duty. They were in a bad mood likely from lost of people mad about the crazy long wait to get through customs. It was several hours of waiting before she finally got through it, and she was on the first 747. It was so bad the local news picked up the story.

They had to build a lot bigger facility to handle the giant aircraft and number of flights.