X5 Diesel won’t do anything, except run the wipers

[unclebilly]

My neighbor’s diesel X5 did a ‘thing’ and now it won’t do anything... oh and the wipers came on and won’t shut off.

Back story...

It has been cold here and it warmed up here. He started it today to take it for a drive and it had a reduced power message of some kind. He got about a quarter mile and the dash lit up, it said no oil pressure shut off engine now, then it shut off the engine and on came the wipers... now it does nothing but run the wipers.

I was going to tow it back into his yard but we couldn’t even get it into neutral.

Would it do anything to disconnect the battery overnight to reset the computer?

Any ideas what could be wrong?

I loaned him my WRX until they get this sorted, not like I can drive a car with a ‘man pedal’ right now anyway...

[speeder]

Can you scan it? What do the codes say, besides "you should not have bought this POS?"

[unclebilly]

He has a scan tool. He has not done this yet. His wife is also in to hospital so there is a bit of stress there.

[wdfifteen]

I would try disconnecting the battery, although it sounds more like a job for a boiling caldron of eye of newt and a dead black cat. That thing is possessed.

[fastfredracing]

Just be thankful the wipers work , its a BMW . Let me know if I can help with wiring daigrams or anything , Nothing comes to mind immediately, but I wonder if there is water intrusion, in a fuse box, relay, or module ?
I would disconnect the battery, call it a bavarian manure wagon a few times, then reconnect and see what happens . IF you have to drag it, I am pretty sure, there is an allen bot on the side of the trans, right next to the linkage that you have to wind in to take it out of park for towing

[speeder]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Just be thankful the wipers work , its a BMW .

I'm sorry for the owner's problems but this is funny.

[red-beard]

Submersion?

My buddy bought a Mini-Cooper for the wifey (she HAD to have one!)...

All sorts of electrical issues. I said flood car? A little digging...Hurricane Harvey car...

He is a lawyer so he "charmed" them into giving him his money back.

[Nostril Cheese]

Before you do anything else... GET THE F'N CODES!!!

[petrolhead611]

I had a customer years ago with a newly acquired Ferrari 400i, which he even bragged about on his voicemail message .
Xmas Eve we were going to build him a folding garage in a very tight space just outside his front bedroom window so that he could store his car. We arrived in the pouring rain to find his car parked with the headlamps cycling up and down so first thing we did was disconnect the battery as he didn't know where it was and how to do it. We built him his garage and left him with his car disconnected and unable to garage the car as he wouldn't have been able to drive the car in then access the battery to disconnect it again without partially removing the fabric, which he seemed incapable of doing and it was dark by this time and we had a 75 mile drive; back home dodging the drunks that populated British roads back then on Xmas Eve.

[tdw28210]

Not sure if X5's are the same basic design, but we owned an 2006 5 series wagon for years. The drains on that thing would get backed up and moisture would find it's way into the lowest point of the interior.. That point was the same place those German geniuses decided to place a ton of the electronics. Specifically, under the spare tire. Once on vacation after a night of storms the dash was freaking out and the car started to jerk going down the road. Pulled over, diagnosed the issue, got it drained and bought some extra fancy electronic cleaner spray. Drove "fine" and traded it for the diesel Q5 we have now.

Long story short -check for moisture in the spare tire well or wherever the electronics are stuffed in that thing.

[unclebilly]

It has been -40 here and not above freezing in 2 weeks. I don’t think it’s flooded electronics.

[fastfredracing]

No, its frozen electronics now

[Joe Bob]

But, but...do the blinkers work?

[fastfredracing]

Hey, this is just for fun, I drive one .

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by Joe Bob

But, but...do the blinkers work?

Turn signals are a very expensive option for BMWs evidently. I never see them used on a BMW.

[1990C4S]

You can be certain that if it rains there the wipers will no longer work.

You might get codes, but I'm guessing you lost power to several control modules.

[rusnak]

Well I got nothing. Maybe there is a shutoff that has to be re-set, similar to the fuel solenoid shutoff except that BMW probably doesn't trust it's customers to not re-start a motor with no oil in it, for obvious reasons.

[unclebilly]

It sounds like it may be the battery. He is off to the dealer to get a new battery so we will see.

This is the opinion of my friend who is an Indy mechanic (more a Porsche guy) and the BMW dealer. This fits with the 5 days of -40 we had.

I will post the findings.

[fastfredracing]

Originally Posted by 1990C4S

You can be certain that if it rains there the wipers will no longer work.

You might get codes, but I'm guessing you lost power to several control modules.

This is what I am thinking. Probably one module failed, and took down the network that it shares other modules with .
One more BMW Meme, then Ill quit .

[unclebilly]

It was not the battery...

I’m thinking this gets real expensive real fast.