If you're at the store and..

[Brian 162]

I had someone ask me for $5 for gas at a gas station when I was travelling through Tennessee a couple of years ago. Normally I would say no but I was on vacation and my guard was down.
Recently I gave money twice to different people that were sleeping in the atm by my house. They both looked defeated.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by KC911

Hey Rick... how many times have you bought a total stranger a beer without them asking ?

Not a lot, but I've done it for young uniformed military in airport restaurants a few times and just asked the server to hand me their bill. Never told them who did it or even spoke to them.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Brian 162

I had someone ask me for $5 for gas at a gas station when I was travelling through Tennessee a couple of years ago. Normally I would say no but I was on vacation and my guard was down.
Recently I gave money twice to different people that were sleeping in the atm by my house. They both looked defeated.

Yep... I dismiss the obvious gas station & Big box parking lot "scammers immediately, and have even interrupted their attempts on elderly folks twice... git! But when someone is "down & out", I have hopefully "made their day" a few times by slipping them a 5 or 10. They weren't seeking a hand(out), but I just felt it was a helping hand extended. Did it help them really? I dunno... but I recieved sincere "thank you"s when they realized I wasn't just shaking their hand for nothing. I do this rarely... but sometimes get caught up in the moment.

The money is totally inconsequential to me.... mebbe it made "their day"... and yes, I felt good about myself .... win/win.

Rick, what you have done for servicemen is what everyone should do imo... and proper .

[GH85Carrera]

One time I had just walked up to a fried chicken place and a 18 year old chick and a scrawny 10 year old boy walked up, so I held the door open for them.

As I was waiting, I heard the boy asking for several pieces of chicken, and she said "mamma just gave me a few dollars, we can't eat much" and he was squirming and said he was really hungry. As they ordered, I ask the boy if he could eat 5 chicken legs. His eyes got big, and he said sure. So I ordered 5 legs for him with my meal, and had them put them on his tray. He reminded me of myself at that age, and he had 5 clean chicken leg bones in no time. I asked if he could eat 4 more, and he nodded. So I got 4 more for him. The sister kept saying they can't pay me back, and I said I did not care, I liked seeing a hungry boy get filled up, and offered to buy her more chicken. She refused.

I left and never saw them again.

I was at a gas station once buying beer, and a customer in front of me was counting out all the change he had. The clerk was rolling his eyes, and the guy said he had to get to work, and payday was tomorrow. I plopped a 5 dollar bill on the counter, and said get 5 bucks worth of gas. He almost hugged me, but I backed up.

That was in the days of $1.00 gas, 5 bucks in gas does not help much now.

[asphaltgambler]

Discernment gentlemen. My belief is that there are many people in need, we need to assess each situation w/o emotions, which is very hard for me, then make a difference accordingly.

[gsxrken]

I donate to several vetted charities run by nuns for unwed mothers, Franciscan friars for down and out alcoholics, the Tunnel-2-Towers group, and various church fund drives. We also had our young children sponsor some families in South America for many years through a group called “UnBound”… (I’ve always wondered about that one but who knows.) The letters and pictures helped our kids to understand that not everyone lives like they do.
I never hand cash to panhandlers. I figure what I’m doing each month is actually more helpful to the “less-fortunate community” as a whole than enabling a particular one of them to stay on the street another day.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by The Synergizer

I might if there’s booze in the basket and she’s a particularly hot milf in a clingy sun dress.

Especially if you get a hint that she has low self esteem.

I have on a number of occasions.

Guessing a 50% legitimacy rate.

Also, the gas station thing is how I think a lot of people get gas. One time a ten year old girl comes to my car window at Sheetz asking for gas money. Where's your Mom's car? Points and its full of adults at the pump. I said I'll give ten dollars to the counter lady and your mom can pump it. The kid had to pump it.

Never give cash. It will be up their nose or in their arm in short order.

[red 928]

Originally Posted by Scott R

I thought this was an isolated incident during the pandemic, maybe it's a scam and I'm not in on it.

Let me ask you this, several times over the last year I've been in the self checkout or regular checkout, and a family can't pay. Card is declined, not enough cash, either. I pay for them. I've had people offer to "venmo" me or whatever the money later, but I don't have that stuff.

Stuff if Colorado is extremely expensive. I guess it is most places, but it's pretty bad here.

Would you buy another persons groceries?

Never been in that situation but no I likely would not

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by craigster59

I had a guy at the local Pilot gas station hit me up. He was heading to Fresno but had lost his wallet and needed gas. He offered me his 22k gold chain (worth approx $450) and I filled his tank to the tune of $125.

I'm taking the chain to the local pawn shop to recoup some of the cash. Wish me luck.

Let us know if they say it has been reported stolen by the police.

[Por_sha911]

I volunteered at a youth center for 10 years that reached street kids and drug addicts. As they befriended me, they would tell me how they could panhandle. One guy taught me the finer points of how to "fly a sign" and make $100 a day (this was 15 years ago). I never give money to the folks with a sign at the intersection or entrance to the store parking lot.

That said, I am happy to help those in need.
Need gas? I'll pay for the gas with the clerk (but first ask the clerk if that same person is a "regular panhandler".
Need food? I'll buy canned vegetables, fresh fruit, cereal, milk, eggs but don't give them the receipt (they try to return stuff to get the money to buy non-WIC items).

I had a guy tell me he was short $8 to get his medicine. I offered to drive him to the drug store and pay the amount needed to get the meds. He said he had to go somewhere else first to pick up the rest of the money. I told him I'll drive him there first. He said 'never mind'.

Then there are the folks with signs "Unemployed. Need help..." when every business in town is putting up signs HELP WANTED.

[wilnj]

Originally Posted by The Synergizer

I might if there’s booze in the basket and she’s a particularly hot milf in a clingy sun dress.

Not a sundress but…

https://youtu.be/Tncd84NYJ1Y

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rusnak]

Originally Posted by Por_sha911

I volunteered at a youth center for 10 years that reached street kids and drug addicts. As they befriended me, they would tell me how they could panhandle. One guy taught me the finer points of how to "fly a sign" and make $100 a day (this was 15 years ago). I never give money to the folks with a sign at the intersection or entrance to the store parking lot.

That said, I am happy to help those in need.
Need gas? I'll pay for the gas with the clerk (but first ask the clerk if that same person is a "regular panhandler".
Need food? I'll buy canned vegetables, fresh fruit, cereal, milk, eggs but don't give them the receipt (they try to return stuff to get the money to buy non-WIC items).

I had a guy tell me he was short $8 to get his medicine. I offered to drive him to the drug store and pay the amount needed to get the meds. He said he had to go somewhere else first to pick up the rest of the money. I told him I'll drive him there first. He said 'never mind'.

Then there are the folks with signs "Unemployed. Need help..." when every business in town is putting up signs HELP WANTED.

NEVER, EVER, EVER give money to a panhandler. They don't need it. Give $$ if you want to a food bank, a church, or community organization. You don't know how to help the poor, trust me.

I deal with panhandlers, vagrants, hobos, bums, scavengers, street people, etc etc every day. A few of my employees were homeless in a shelter for a while. I know very well how they operate, how they think, and how they live. I also give away more $$ to charity than most people do, which is to say, constantly.

[Eric 951]

Originally Posted by craigster59

I had a guy at the local Pilot gas station hit me up. He was heading to Fresno but had lost his wallet and needed gas. He offered me his 22k gold chain (worth approx $450) and I filled his tank to the tune of $125.

I'm taking the chain to the local pawn shop to recoup some of the cash. Wish me luck.

haha. This scam was being run locally about (2) weeks ago. I was filling up, new Tahoe pulls up, dude driving in expensive shirt, sunglasses says he is from Dubai, here on vacation with his wife and infant(yes there was a woman in backseat with a kid in a car seat), they lost all of their money, passports, etc. and could I give them some cash for his "gold and diamond ring". told him to beat it.

[KFC911]

I just think there is something personal about giving someone something a "brighten their day" with an extended hand. But never to those who are obvious scammers, or even asking...

I actually think the gesture and their sincere gratitude for it might help them a bit... not the amount. I don't do this often.... it's usually spur of the moment....

And if they want to buy a $5 beer with it .... then pick a good Bastard .

[stevej37]

This will do....

[Geronimo '74]

Similar in the helping a stranger, but not groceries.
Some time ago I saw a bare footed toddler on the sidewalk, about to venture on the road.
This was like 8 pm in the evening, she was two years old maybe.

Stopped the car, crossed the street and picked her up.
Looked around and saw the garage door of a nearby house open.
I rang the bell and her mother opened.
I asked if this was her kid and she looked like her heart fell on the floor.
Started apologizing and she was really in shock.
Turns out the little one got out of her bed, into the garage and onto the street, behind the backs of her parents.
Couldn't help but notice some ganja smell coming from the livingroom..
I may have very well prevented a tragedy that day.

A few days later I returned and gifted them a brand new, 170 €, babymonitor with camera and motion sensing. She and her boyfriend were very happy and amazed.
They offered to buy me a gift in return, but I declined. I just asked them to pass on the good karma and hope they learned from it.
My sister chipped in for the monitor by the way. (can't take all the credit)
I must admit that made me feel good about myself for a while.

Yeah, mom was kinda skanky hot, in case somebody is wondering..

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Geronimo '74

Similar in the helping a stranger....

Yeah, mom was kinda skanky hot, in case somebody is wondering..

You should probably monitor that situation

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by Geronimo '74

Similar in the helping a stranger, but not groceries.
Some time ago I saw a bare footed toddler on the sidewalk, about to venture on the road.

My sister had a similar thing happen. She had no idea who the little kid was so she called the police to find out who the parents are and to look after the kid. It turned out the parents lived a couple of doors away and launched a hate campaign against my sister for calling the police. Do be careful.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by A930Rocket

Back in the 80s, I was filling up my car and a guy asked for money for food. I gave him five or $10 and I said don’t go buy beer. As I continue to fill up, I watched him go right to the beer cooler and get beer. That was the last time.

Once you give/gift someone money, they can and will do whatever they want with it. Even if you try to stipulate what they have to do or what they can't do with the money, unless you have some way to control them, all you can do is then determine that if they use it for something else, you'll never give them money again.

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

This is why I don't give to panhandlers. They are in the situation they're in because of bad decisions. Even if this man had not bought beer with your money, your money would have made it possible for him to use other funds for buying schit he doesn't need. If my folks give me $1000 and say it's only to be spent on rent, great! That frees up the other money I was going to spend on rent to now spend on booze and smokes.

In Phoenix there are beggars on every single street corner and highway on/off ramp. It's worse than what I saw on my first visit to Juarez. They are there because they know people will continue to enable their bad decisions.

Exactly. I'd LOVE to help people in need, but the realistic/cynical side of me says that any sort of gifting would not actually be helpful.

Many years ago, I worked with a guy that was a great guy, but I think had some inner demons. Anyway, he told me a story where he saw a woman begging with a young kid or two with her. He drove past, went down to a store and bought a loaf of bread, some peanut butter and some milk and brought it back. I think they took it, but the woman was pissed and told him that she didn't want food, she wanted money. He told her "take it or leave it."

But as you said, even if you gift them food, that just frees up any other money that they get for alcohol, cigarette, drugs, etc...

I don't feel like gifting is helpful or going to lead them anywhere better than where they are now.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by fintstone

I used to help out folks…and it was almost always a scam. They are prevalent as Nigerian Princes with money to send you on the internet. I have met people that play that scam (where they are short on money every time they buy anything). They may not score every time…but trying is free and they don’t have to pay taxes on what they get.

Originally Posted by stevej37

knowing that you have truly helped a person out ...is worth losing money to a few swindlers.

If it was 99% that would be one thing, but it's more likely to be 1%. Even if it was 90% and 10%, those are odds that I just can deal with, especially when you think about where the other money is likely going.